without a wand
by scarfganini
Summary: most wild pairing in the world, Itachi Uchiha and Luna lovegood. but don't write it off just yet, it's incredibly adorable. Kisame steals the wrong target, bringing Luna instead, leaving it up to Itachi to keep her safe. come on, a peek can't hurt.
1. Kisame's mistake

All right, all you critics out there. This fanficiton isn't perfect. Let me make it clear that most of the Akatsuki I only know from my friends talking about them. I know nothing except gender and appearance of Konan.

So my personalities are probably horrendous. And I know it. Please, if you have a complaint, tell me. Although, I cant' say I'll do anything about it because I really like this fanfiction, I'm really proud of it and I don't want to change it. And please be nice. I did try my best.

Yes, I know Tobi doesn't like mushrooms that much. I put that in there because it helps the plot along.

I also know that Itachi is a heartless fiend who murdered his clan, but for him to work out in this he had to have a heart. In this fanficiton, there are a million and one places where I could insert a fight between Luna and Itachi, they are so different. But I can't stand warring lovers. I don't like reading about them, (although I do anyway to find out how they get back together) and I don't like writing about them. So I skated over all the possibly fight scenes, as I'm sure you'll see if you look. Excuse this, please. It's not changing.

I don't own. Itachi, the Akatsuki, pretty much anything in here except thinks hmm I own Tobi's obsession with mushrooms I guess. The plot is mine, although there isn't much of a climax. YET. The first two chapters are PART ONE.

The real climax I'm hoping will be in part two, which will be shorter and not yet alt he way worked out.

Anyway, finally, please read my fanfiction because I worked hard on it.

(Oh yes, and for the purpose of my fanfiction, you cannot apparate without a wand)

-Haku

Kisame had finally done something right.

He Glided swiftly through the streets (running in the cloak just didn't look as cool) of the small town he hadn't bothered to learn the name of, straight to the small tea shop He had wandered away from, leaving behind his partner in crime, Itachi.

"Itachi!" He called, as he entered the nearly deserted shop, "I got it!" He looked eagerly into the bemused eyes of his companion, who pushed aside his chair and stood, ignoring his half finished coffee.

"Are you _positive _it's the target, and not another Grocer?" Itachi frowned. "We don't want a repeat of last time you went out on your own."

"That wasn't my fault." Kisame whined. "They looked exactly the same!"

"One was bald with thick eyebrows and the other had so much hair you couldn't see his eyes."

Kisame couldn't win this one. "Details, details." He frowned. "I got the right one, ok? Let's go, I'm sick of this town."

Itachi left without tipping the waiter (evil indeed) and Took the lead down the wasteland road that was the long and winding road (e-crucio if you don't get it) Back to the Akatsuki hide out.

Nearly there. Nearly there. Itachi had half a mind to stop, right there, and check if what Kisame had in the bag was really their target. But if it was, there was a chance said target would escape. Albeit not a large one…

Still, none could be taken. The two Cloaked figures ducked into the Hidden entrance of their headquarters, Kisame nearly bouncing with excitement. Itachi wondered if his head was just full of salt water. Knocking an annoying stalactite form the ceiling, He and Kisame wound through the well-worn maze of damp caves until they came to a large, lit cave where the rest of the Akatsuki were stationed.

The Akatsuki lounge.

Tobi and Kakuzu were glued in front of the stolen TV with bad reception, and Deidara was playing chess with Hidan while Konan was in the corner on her striped lounge chair listening to her headphones. Zetsu was reading two books at once (they couldn't decide) and Leader-san wasn't in sight, meaning he was probably in some secret cave plotting revenge for something trivial like wearing stripes with plaid. (Most of the Akatsuki didn't know this hobby of his, but Itachi had his ways.)

As the victorious two stepped into the candle-lit cave, all eyes turned to them. Except Tobi and Kakuzu, who watched the last minute of their program before turning off the TV and then looking over.

"You got her?" Konan took off her headphones.

"I think-" Began Itachi.

"Yes!" Kisame grinned triumphantly. Itachi shook his head and braced himself.

"Good." Deidara stood up. "Let's see, then."

Kisame handed him the lumpy canvas sack, and Deidara untied it. Time seemed to slow down as the knot fell apart, and the Brown canvas fell slowly down around the figure of a wide-eyed, blonde girl, perhaps 17. (In fact she's 18.) Itachi's brain froze, a red alert turned on in his mind. This was not the target. But he didn't care anymore, that didn't matter, all that mattered was the robed girl sitting among the crumpled folds of cloth.

Luna Lovegood looked around. So many strange faces… How many? 5, 6- oh. Relief flooded through her, the terror that had come from being jostled so horribly in the dark bag evaporating as she looked up into familiar eyes. Patterned eyes. Scared eyes.

Scared eyes. He was scared. Why was he scared? Something was wrong. Luna became frightened once more.

"Kisame!" The cloaked figure with the long blonde hair spoke sharply toward her captor. "This is not the target. What were you doing."

"I swear, it's a trick, it is, it is, I know this is the target!" The blue monster spoke, both frightened and inflamed.

"It doesn't look like the target, Kisame." The stranger in an orange mask spoke up.

"#&$ right it doesn't." Another spoke up, this one with hair gelled back like Draco Malfoy had once done his hair. (In the movie, at least.)

"Well," The blonde one sighed, "We'll do away with her, and Then Someone had better go get the actual target before leader-san finds out Kisame messed up again." His hand slipped silently into a bag he had with him. A thrill of horror paralyzed Luna, although she didn't know why.

"No," Itachi said quickly "Wait!" Too quickly.

They all stared at him.

His eyes hardened. "Let me."

The blonde guy stared at him, and pulled his hand back out of his bag. "If you insist," he sighed. And turned to the man in the orange mask. "Come, Tobi, surely we can finish what task Kisame might have failed."

The two of them left.

Then, the scene over, The People grouped around Luna began to fade away, stationing themselves in front of the TV, or else in different chairs all around the Roomy cave she had been brought to.

Someone grabbed her arm. She jumped, turning swiftly to face whoever her opponent may be, her hand plunged inside her robes toward her wand.

It wasn't there. Oh, right. She had set it down and been captured before she could pick it back up again. Which would be why she hadn't burned a hole through the bag, stunned the blue guy and left.

She turned and saw Itachi, his grip on her arm tightening. She smiled. "It-"

"Shut up."

Her smile faltered. She looked up at him. His expression was unreadable. It usually was.

"Come with me." He ordered, pulling her roughly to her feet.

"I don't understand." She said, and he dragged her out of the room.

He looked back at her, out of sight of the glowing cavern, his eyes filled with fear. Luna had never seen him scared before, and it was shocking.

"Luna, you could be killed," he hissed. "You must play along or life will be over. Do you have your wand." He shook her a bit.

"How did you-"

"Do you have it."

"I- no." she looked down. I dropped it."

Itachi swore softly. "Well come with me for now," he said, ignoring her bewildered expression, "and I'll see what I can do about that."

He hurried her, more gently now, along winding passages and corridors until they reached a dully-lit cavern, with a bed in one corner, many nice furniture objects, and personal touches such as one Bob Seger poster (yes I just HAD to do that) and several assorted glass ornaments sitting on a three legged stool in the corner. There was also a picture frame, a lovely picture frame, sitting on a bedstand.

"These are my quarters. Unspoken Akatsuki rule: Another man's room is off limits. It's so we can personalize them, but you should be safe here until I can get your wand."

"How-" Luna stuttered. "I never told you- my wand- _how_?"

"So I was spying on you." A pink tinge appeared in Itachi's lined face. (Itachi blushed! Itachi blushed!)

"Ah."

There was an awkward silence. Then Itachi said, "Stay here." He got up from the dark purple lounge chair that sat against the cave wall and made to exit through the Cavern doorway.

"Where are you going!" Luna asked, grabbing the cuff of his cloak. He turned, the shadow of a smile lurking in his deep eyes.

"To straighten his up, somehow," he said.

"Who _are_ they?" She whispered. "The ones who wear the same cloak as you, with cruel eyes."

Itachi looked at her forlornly. "You are not the only one who has kept secrets."

She looked up at him, her sense of being lost shining through her clear eyes.

He looked away. "I'll explain later." He pulled his arm away from her grip, and left her standing in the doorway.

She stared after him.

He would explain later. He could come back. He would protect her from harm, the way his eyes promised her.

She had faith in him.

So she sat down on the bed to wait. Her eyes wandered to the picture frame, the beautiful picture frame, and a blush crept down her neck as she realized what it held. It was a picture of her. She was smiling happily out from the gilded frame, laughing a waving at the camera.

It was a wizard photo.

He _had_ been spying. He must have taken that photo. Luna wondered whether to be angry, but found she simply could not. The only thing she could feel was affection for the man who would frame her face and set it so lovingly beside his bed.

So she forgave him, and knew that she would gladly give him any photo if he would take it.

Itachi was in one helluva fix. Somehow he had to make sure she wasn't killed. His Luna. Surely it wouldn't be that hard… she was handy with a wand. He had seen her- fixing the roof, harvesting plants, summoning, flying, transfiguring, magic of all sorts. She was truly amazing.

As long as she didn't kill the whole Akatsuki. If she did that, what would he do with his life? He wasn't exactly the settle down type. But he couldn't see Luna killing anybody.

First task at hand- get the wand.

He walked into the lounge, and sat down next to Kisame, who was getting badly beaten at chess by Kakuzu.

"Got rid of the wench, didja?" Kisame commented, as his pawn was pwned. (Heh)

Itachi gritted his teeth. "Not yet."

"Nnn. 'S unlike you." Kisame said absently, contemplating on whether or not to move his rook.

"I left something in that tea shop." Itachi frowned. "It's… important. I'll be gone the next hour or two."

"Oooh…" Kisame said as his rook was taken because of a bad move. "Okay."

"By the way," Itachi frowned as Kisame pondered his next doomed move. "If you take his bishop, there, and then move back, you can't be taken."

"Oh." Kisame took Kakuzu's bishop. "Thanks, Itachi. You're good at chess."

"I prefer checkers." Itachi said as he left. (Once again, I just HAD to put that in)

It wasn't there. Itachi looked up. He couldn't find Luna's wand anywhere in this godforsaken town. He'd turned up every pebble there was to be found lying on the dusty ground, gone through all the places he'd ever met Luna at, or seen her around. There wasn't one wand lying about, Luna's or otherwise.

His thoughts turned to her. He was afraid for her life, if the members of the Akatsuki found her they'd kill her without a second thought. And she couldn't even raise a shield charm to protect herself. The thought of leaving her alone for much longer was killing him.

Itachi was still gone. He'd been gone for over an hour, and Luna was beginning to get scared. The ominous presence of the many frightening people abiding in the same group of caves was rather intimidating, and Luna didn't feel quite so safe without her wand safely in her grip.

She sank down in a large, cushy chair patterned with a large fan that reminded her of dirigible plums.

"Itachi?"

Every hair on Luna's body stood on end. She leaped silently from the chair, and ducked behind the bed. She searched franticly for something to hit the intruder whose voice she had heard with.

"Itachi, are you back yet? Your show is nearly on, you're usually out at least ten minutes in advance!" Luna watched in horror as the Blue tinted fish man who had captured her stepped into Itachi's room.

"Not here," He muttered to himself. He kept walking. Every step brought him closer to where he might be in view of Luna, Who franticly groped around for something, anything to use as a weapon.

"Hang on," The Witchnapper said slowly, turning his attention toward the side of the bed Luna hid on. "Who's there, then?"

Luna closed her fist around a conveniently placed rock that she had found.

"You can't possibly be that doomed little miss, can you?" an evil smirk in his voice, his footsteps neared Luna. She looked up, and was staring straight into the cold-blooded eyes of her captor.

She leapt into action, her survival instincts that she had so well developed the past three years kicking into motion. Only this time it was different. She was not armed, but neither was the enemy. Unless you counted the giant sword-

"Itachi hasn't yet done away with you, huh?" he sneered. "I guess I can do that for him…" she threw the stone, as hard as she could, straight at his head. It was a good shot, surprising how much strength adrenaline can give you.

Faster than she could blink he had blocked her only weapon with the sword he held above her.

"Why haven't you been locked up, eh?" He chuckled darkly, "You could almost escape like that…" and he swung.

WHAM

Before Luna could even figure out what was happening, Shark man had been knocked to the floor. She looked up for her savior.

And she looked away.

She had never seen such a look on Itachi's face. This was nothing like the warm smiles she loved to see on his face, the only emotion detectable was rage, blinding rage, crashing out even identity.

She watched in amazement as he loomed over her previous threat, who gulped.

"Kisame." His voice dripped with calm threats, which was scarier than Professor Snape after a bad day. "What _were _you doing?"

"I- she-" Kisame looked desperately at Itachi. "What got into you?"

Itachi kicked Kisame so hard he crashed into the wall. "Don't touch her."

Kisame stared back in amazed fright, seemingly unable to move.

"Get out!"

The sheer force in every syllable would have driven even Voldemort out of the room just then.

Kisame, who was of course no match for Voldemort, ran like his life depended on it. Which, thinking it over, it might have.

Itachi crumpled limply into the chair Luna had abandoned, head in hands. She stood up and walked tentatively over to him.

"Itachi?" she said softly, more for confirmation that his was still Itachi than to ask anything.

He looked up at her, slowly, and his face showed such regret it was painful. "He could have killed you." He whispered hoarsely.

She knelt down next to him. "But he didn't." she took his hand and held it. "He didn't."

He smiled weakly, and squeezed her hand. "I know."

They sat like that for a minute or so, just holding hands and dealing with the moment. ( . )

It was Luna who spoke first. "So what is this place?" she asked. "Who are these people?" she didn't look at him.

Itachi waited a moment, choosing the right words. "Have you ever heard of the Akatsuki?"

"Yes." Luna answered straightaway. "But they don't exist. The Akatsuki is a government cover up for a conspiracy against a species of flea that only resides in demon fur, and - "

"They exist."

Luna suddenly understood. "…Oh." She looked at him. "You… you belong to them, don't you."

He nodded slowly. "I am one of them. Kisame captured you thinking you were a target we've been going after recently."

"What were you going to do, to the target, once you had captured them?"

She looked at him, straight into his eyes. They were one of the things she liked about him; he had the most fascinating eyes.

He stared back, the answer clearly stated in their depths. They would have eventually killed their target.

Luna looked away. Itachi looked down. "I'm sorry."

Luna didn't answer right away. She looked slowly back at him, and he caught her eyes quickly as he could.

She stared at him, conflicts chasing around her head. But it didn't matter. Itachi's eyes drowned them all out.

She noticed, somewhere along there, she had dropped his hand.

She reached out and held it once more. She couldn't let Itachi go, something in her wouldn't quite allow that, no matter the price.

Itachi stood up and sat down again, on the floor, next to her. He brushed a stray hair out of her face and she leaned against him, suddenly tired from the many events of that day.

Kisame didn't stop running until he reached the Akatsuki lounge. He swung himself behind the wall, and slumped to catch his breath.

Every eye in the room was on him.

"What got into you?" Konan asked.

"Itachi's really scary," Kisame gasped, still out of breath from his desperate sprint.

"Aren't we all." Zetsu grinned. Half grinned. The other half of him was still watching TV…

"No," Kisame stood up, still a little freaked. "I mean he was really, really scary." He gulped. "He hadn't killed that girl yet, so I went to kill her for him, I mean, he doesn't care who he kills, and… he got mad."

"Moody jerk."

"No. Really mad. Furious… outraged. I've never seen him like that."

The whole of the Akatsuki stared at him. (Except Deidara and Tobi, who were still gone, Itachi, and Zetsu's left eye.)

"You can't be serious."

"What's gotten into him?"

"Are you sure you didn't just run into an overlarge mole?"

"With long hair?"

"Moles don't have hair."

"Yes they do, you idiot, they're mammals."

"Really? I thought they were like, reptile or something…"

"How can you think a mole is a reptile? _How_?"

Kisame groaned. "Somebody take this seriously."

"Look, Kisame," Konan frowned at him. "I just don't get what's so urgent. I mean, so what? Itachi got mad. I do that all the time. So do you. It happens when you're evil."

"Yes, but to get so riled up over a girl? You don't think maybe he has some relationship with her?" Kisame said tentatively.

"What, like a girlfriend?" Konan said, and the whole room was silent.

Until everyone cracked up. Even Kisame smiled.

Except half of Zetsu wasn't paying attention.

Eventually everyone filed back to their previous activities, except the left half of Zetsu's show was over, so he sat there complaining loudly that 'no on ever just talked a bit in here.'

Kisame was determined to prove his theory was correct. And this meant spying on Itachi. Which was about as dangerous as… well, there's not many danger metaphors for the Akatsuki. But it was pretty dangerous.

He had two more chances for backup. Tobi and Deidara. When they came back…

Tobi insisted on stopping five times on the way back. He wanted to eat something, he simply had to find out if they had change for a ten here, he was tired, couldn't they rest, couldn't they get something else to eat… how about a souvenir?

It was times like this Deidara missed Sasori.

There were only another 2 or 3 miles back to the caves, and Tobi was busy picking patterned mushrooms. Where did he find these things…

Deidara sighed and stood up from the mossy log he had been sitting on. Tobi looked up, recognizing the signs.

"Ten more minutes."

"No."

"Five."

"No."

"Three."

"No, Tobi."

"Two. One!"

"No."

And Deidara dragged a pleading Tobi (plus the mushrooms he refused to leave behind) On down the trail home.

And eventually they got there.

Grumbling, Deidara watched as Tobi ran off down the spiraling tunnels to stash away his mushrooms, and then headed off to the lounge. He had missed half his program, thanks to Tobi and his stupid fungus.

"Deidara." He looked up.

"Yeah?" it was Kisame. He was leaning against the cave wall outside the rec room, either waiting for Deidara, or trying to 'look cool' again.

"Listen-" Kisame hesitated for a moment. "I have… a theory."

"Go on." Deidara had given up all hope of seeing the last five minutes of his show.

Kisame grinned. "You know the girl, the one I… mistook?"

"What, you want another chance? No way, took care of it."

"No, but remember how Itachi insisted on taking care of her himself?"

"Yeah, it was strange, but then again, this is Itachi we're talking about."

"Well, you don't think maybe she's a little more to him than prey…?"

"What are you getting at?" Deidara narrowed his eyes. (eye?) But he though he already knew.

"Maybe they're friends, or more."

Deidara went over his options fast. Look into this with Kisame, and possibly stumble upon a jackpot while risking humiliation if they were wrong, laugh in Kisame's face and possibly miss a jackpot, or look into it himself and avoid humiliation if Kisame was wrong.

There was really only one option, I'm sure you'll agree.

"Kisame, you're nuts. Itachi went territorial and killed the girl, sure. Goodbye." And Deidara walked past the rec room, down into one of the caves that led to his quarters.

"He hasn't killed her." Kisame called softly after him. "He nearly killed me, when I tried to finish her for him."

Deidara's interest was sparked. He would have to do a little snooping of his own, possibly by the end of the week he'd have a personal slave. Blackmail was a wonderful thing.

Mushrooms are wonderful things. They come in so many different colors, shapes and sizes…

Tobi was mushroom-happy. He lined up all his mushrooms (including some mushrooms he'd collected before today) from smallest to largest, from brightest to dullest, from spotty-est to plainest, until he was bored. He'd move them into his mushroom cave with the rest later.

He headed back to the Akatsuki lounge. Maybe he'd read the rest of that magazine Deidara had lent him…

But he never got to the lounge.

Kisame stopped him.

"Hi Kisame!"

"Hi, Tobi." Kisame looked a little disgruntled. "Listen," he said, waving aside preamble. "Do you think Itachi's been acting weird?"

"He always acts weird!"

"Yeah, but, more so than usual, maybe?"

Tobi thought back. This morning Itachi had- slept really late, snapped at Tobi for taking up half the sofa, and… gone with Kisame to retrieve the target. …

"Nope."

Kisame shook his head. To hell with beating around the bush. "I think he's involved with that girl, the one I, uhm, mistook for the target."

"Involved with her? Like they're partners in crime?"

"Nooo, his partner in crime would be me. I was thinking more just partner."

Tobi stared at Kisame blankly. Or as blankly as you can stare at someone when your face is covered with a mask.

"I think he likes her."

Tobi's face lit up- although it was hard to tell. "Really?"

Kisame breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, someone who would take this seriously. "Yeah. See, the way he reacted when Deidara reached to kill her…"

"I can just wait here."

"Kisame might come back."

"He couldn't. He's going too."

"Yes. But…" Itachi trailed off. He still didn't like the idea of leaving her on her own again.

"I can take care of myself. I did fight you-know-who, and I live to tell the tale."

"You know _who?_"

"Voldemort."

Itachi looked at her funny, and she grimaced. "Oops. He was the menace of the Wizarding world, a friend of mine finished him off."

Itachi just stared at her. What sort of friends did she have?

"Anyway, I'll be fine." Luna assured him, smiling at him in a way that made it harder to go.

"Okay." He said finally. "But you're to stay hidden." He frowned. "You haven't got means to protect yourself, since I couldn't find you wand after all."

"I'll stay hidden." She promised.

Itachi left. Reluctantly.

Once a week the Akatsuki dropped everything and had a dinner together, because Leader-san thought that if they didn't know each other they wouldn't work well together, and a team that works together well was an advantage. This was his way of making them socialize.

And so Itachi had to go, there was no escaping it. No excuses.

Which left Luna alone, even if none of the Akatsuki could get away.

And it still made Itachi uneasy.

He entered the roomy cave that Leader-san had chosen for a dining room, and took his seat next to Kisame and Hidan. Kisame was eyeing him suspiciously, and Itachi was certain he knew why. He ignored it. Hidan was hiding a carving knife under the table, so leader wouldn't see it, because Leader-san didn't like it when he bled at the table. It annoyed Itachi too, but blood was part of the Akatsuki life. You get used to it.

Luna needed a good place to hide. Behind the bed was right out, chairs and other furniture as well. There was a cave that was somehow installed with plumbing for a bathroom, but that was simply inconvenient. So Luna set off around the cave, exploring options for a good hideout.

There was a roomy cabinet in the back, a small closet cave, and low ceilinged corned that wasn't particularly comfortable, and… that was it.

Luna was in the process of looking about the dark corner, just because it intrigued her. It was dark in the back- Maybe she could hide back there? So she scooted a bit farther. But there wasn't a wall there. Infact, it didn't seem to be a corner at all. It was a small tunnel. So, of course, Luna set off crawling down the dark tunnel. She turned back after a couple yards, and could still clearly see the exit. That was good, it wouldn't be prudent to get lost in here. She turned back around, the light still burning in her eyes.

But it didn't seem to be in her eyes. Infact, wasn't that a faint light up ahead?

So she scurried on ahead to explore it. As she went forward, the light got a little bigger, but not much. There was a very low ceiling, here- Luna ducked her head to see where she was headed, and saw a very roomy cavern with a small hole in the ceiling, supplying a dim light to the entire cavern.

For Luna's purposes, it was perfect.

Well, what did you expect? This is a fanfiction; things can work out as absurdly perfect as I want them to.

Mrsandmanmrsandmanmrsandmanmrsandmanmrsandmanmrsandmanmrsandman

Well,

That was the first chapter. Go on, read the next one. And please, please PLEASE review. You don't have to have an account. You don't have to give your email. Just say what you think. I'm really happy with how this turned out, and I want to know if others think my efforts were worth it.

There are parts in there that I wrote (I just Had to put that there) next to, because they are from Itachi videos on youtube. Naruto randomness episode five or something, and checkers. They are hilarious. But anyway, just thought I should explain that.

Even though Itachi said that the rooms as personal sanctuaries, Kisame came into Itachi's. Well, that's because Kisame had no regard for personal space. So he just comes strolling in. Something Itachi overlooked.

'Itachi blushed! Itachi blushed!' is from an im conversation I had with a friend, plus Luna Ginny Itachi Gaara Haku and other characters that were in that one. Dianna has some of them posted on her account, (Shashuko the paisley maiden) I don't know if she has that one yet.

Anything else you don't understand ask about and I'll include with the second part.

Although I think I covered everything from this chapter. So byeas!


	2. fixing a hole

Ok! Here's chapter two!!! Just so you know, a molimer is just another one of Luna's beliefs, just thought I'd say because I don't in the fanficiton.

The 'ha greenbean no hyphen' was a note to a friend of mine, we had an argument over whether or not I should put a hyphen between e and crucio. So her name's greenbean.

Laying eggs through the mouth: dbz, the namekians do that, so it was a note to Shashuko. It worked, she laughed.

When I say Zetsu's right or left, I mean if you were looking at him. (Left black, right white.)

I DONT OWN BARELY ANY OF THIS!!!!!! Not the characters, settings (except the Akatsuki lounge.) etc. Thought you ought to know… faints

Nargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirlnargirl

Itachi ducked into his quarters after what seemed like ages, and looked around for Luna. She had hidden herself well, he noted.

"Luna?" he called, walking deeper into the well-lit cave that was his room. "Come out."

She didn't appear to hear him, as no blonde head poked round out of the closet, or the cabinet.

So he walked swiftly to the back of the cave, calling her name. 'She had better answer.' Was his only thought.

"Luna"

Luna turned her head. She had been lying on her back in the cave she had found, staring at the clouds through the small hole in the ceiling.

She could have sworn she heard her name.

"Luna!"

It was her name! With a shock of realization, she jumped to her feet and scrambled down the dark tunnel until, a minute later, she shot out of the corner.

Itachi turned around at the sound, and pulled her into a hug. aawwww

"Thank goodness." He murmured so softly Luna could barely hear it. Luna just hugged him back.

"I assume you found a place to hide," Itachi said, when he finally let her go.

Luna nodded. "It's really great, as if it were tunneled by molimers." She pointed over to the corner tunnel that led to her cavern. "It's through a tunnel in that corner."

"Fascinating," Itachi murmured as he stooped to get a better look at the tunnel Luna had indicated. "It would be a tight fit for the rest of us, and I doubt any of the other Akatsuki members know about It." he stood straight again. "Good find."

Luna smiled. "Now you don't have to worry so much."

Itachi smiled too. "But I will anyway."

Luna's smile grew against her will.

The end

…

Yes, I was kidding. ONWARD!

Itachi was needed on some mission or other, so Luna was once again confined to her sunlit cave. Although she didn't think of it as confinement, she loved it there.

She wished she had her wand. ---

But for now she would make do with having Itachi; yes, that was nearly as good protection as any magic she could offer.

And magic couldn't hug you.

Luna decided to take the opportunity to look around her temporary quarters. (At least, she hoped they were temporary. However much she liked the cave, she still liked her room more.) Yesterday she had spent most of the time staring at clouds through the sunhole in the ceiling, and had observed that it was in a distorted shape, a cross between a star and an otter. And probably about big enough for someone to crawl through, if they got up there.

Today she looked around to the darker corners of the cave; the ones daylight did not reach. They looked slightly damp, she thought. And there were lots of mushrooms growing. Wow… what lovely patterns. Suppose they held the odd African spore toad? They could shrink themselves small enough to camouflage themselves into a toadstool's spot…

So she wandered over to the mushrooms. She bent down, and to her dismay found no miniature toads hiding amongst the brilliant spots smattered across the brightly colored fungus. But she did find something else.

The assorted mushrooms weren't growing. They weren't attached to the earth. They had been picked elsewhere, and brought here.

Which meant someone had brought them here.

Which meant someone could return.

Would return.

Anyone who doesn't see what's going to happen next deserves an e crucio. (Ha, greenbean. No hyphen.)

So it was just then that Luna heard footsteps. Echoing footsteps, the cave seemed to quiver under each one, she was so afraid. She ducked under the lowest eave she could find and wished desperately for her wand.

Or Itachi.

The crashing footsteps slowed to a stop. There was the scrape of something against rock, and over the edge of Luna's cloud-gazing pool of light popped a face.

Not a face.

A mask.

And then he was entering the Cave, lowering himself through the hole in the ceiling, letting himself drop down to the light stone floor, his black and red cloak that matched Itachi's billowing around him as he landed.

Luna shrank into the shadows, wishing she had the invisibility cloak Hallow her father told her about. The faceless cloaked figure bounced – _bounced_ – to the collection of mushrooms that he had hidden away in Luna's sanctuary.

Which was no longer a sanctuary, it seemed.

The mysterious yet unexpectedly good-tempered Akatsuki member continued on his way, depositing more mushrooms still onto a raised stone and proceeding to sort them into all sorts of piles and patterns that Luna could make no sense of. (Which is saying something.)

Minutes passed. Or were they hours? They felt like years. Finally, the eccentric mushroom collector stood up, satisfied. He turned to the spot where light shone brightest, underneath the skylight.

And turned back.

To stare right at Luna.

Terror stole breath from her lungs, her mind froze and she felt her heart stop, and all her other vital organs got damaged in some odd way too.

He raised a hand.

Luna flinched.

"Hi!!!"

He was waving at her.

In a _friendly_ manner.

Luna raised a tentative hand and waved back. Which encouraged him enough to come over and squat beside her. "Who 'r you?" he asked her cheerfully.

Luna stared at him in disbelief. This wasn't what she'd pictured the Akatsuki like. "I'm…" she hesitated, wondering if she ought to tell him who she was. But her name couldn't hurt. "Luna."

"I'm Tobi!" Tobi said, and Luna wished she could see his expression beneath the swirly orange mask he kept over his features.

"Hello, Tobi."

Tobi seemed to beam at her from beneath his mask, although Luna couldn't quite tell.

"Why are you here?"

Luna did not answer. Tobi waited for a moment then cocked his head to the side.

"You must be Itachi's friend!" He exclaimed, and Luna could tell he knew it was true from the shock in her unblinking blue eyes.

There was silence as Tobi waited for her to say something. When she did not, he asked again. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for an African spore toad." Luna answered. "They're really rare, Daddy would love a specimen to prove his theory that they reproduce by laying eggs through their mouths." (Sound familiar?)

"Ooh, I've heard of them!" Tobi jumped up from his sitting position and held out a hand to help Luna up. She took it warily. "They live in the spots on a toadstool, right?"

"Yes! You know, there aren't very many people who believe they even exist. Just because no one's seen one for centuries does _not_ mean they've died out." Luna smiled.

"It's like what they said about crumplehorned snorkacks." Tobi agreed.

The hour passed, or was it minutes. It felt like seconds. Luna and Tobi talked about all sorts of things- the tidy chiddbuckett, thestrals, (because even if you don't understand them, when you kill so much it's hard to avoid them.) hard to find rocks that glimmered like a newfallen snow, and the African spore toad.

"Luna!" came the echoing call from the other end of the passageway to the Mushroom cave. "Luna, are you there?"

The wide-eyed witch leapt to her feet. "Ah!" she remarked. "I've got to go."

"Okay!" Tobi called after her as she knelt to enter the tunnel that led to the voice she had missed hearing. "See you later!"

Itachi could hear Luna's footsteps echoing inside the tunnel, drowning out the second voice he was certain he had heard.

He was worried sick.

As soon as Luna's shoulders appeared in the corner, Itachi pulled her out and to her feet. He gave her a quick hug, then said,

"There was someone there."

Luna nodded, but she didn't seem worried about it. Itachi calmed a bit, they hadn't harmed Luna, she was most certainly in one piece. "It was Tobi," Luna Explained. "Apparently there was someone who knew about that cave."

Tobi. Tobi wasn't the worst that could have happened. He at the very least didn't have the brains to go telling the whole clan Luna was still alive.

Or maybe he had just the right amount of brains to do something stupid like that.

"Kisaaaaa-aaaaaame!!!!" Tobi yelled, running as fast as he could in an annoying cloak. Why did they where these things again? They were rather cumbersome… they were useful for storing things in, true…

"What is it, Tobi?" Kisame grumbled, turning his head at last from the comfy chair he sat in.

"It's-! It's-! It's-!"

"What."

Tobi thought for a moment.

"I forgot."

Kisame groaned. "Go spy on Itachi or something." He turned back to his book, which was a version of 'Jaws'.

"Oooooo! Oo! Oo! Oo!!!!! Tobi raised his hand and waved it about madly.

Kisame glared at him. "_What_?" he hissed through his pointy teeth.

"I remember!"

All he earned for his memory was a cold glare. "And?" Kisame prompted, knowing he'd never get rid of Tobi otherwise.

"I found Luna!"

Kisame Jumped up. There was only one person Luna could be- Itachi's little treasure.

"She's still alive?" It even surprised him a little. He wondered if underneath it all he never really believed it himself.

"Alive and very well." Tobi said proudly. "She went running when Itachi called her."

Kisame grinned his fishy grin. "Excellent work, Tobi. Now run along."

Tobi ran out of the room, yelling behind him, "Tobi is a good spy!"

_Just_ to clue you in, Kisame is doing this to get Itachi in trouble for once. Itachi's always the perfect villain, never messes up and gets yelled at. So here was Kisame's chance to not be the one who slipped up. To watch leader-san yell at someone else. To watch him yell at Itachi. Heh heh…

Itachi Stormed through the labyrinth of underground tunnels until he found what he was looking for.

Kisame was leaning against a curved tunnel wall with a forebodingly smug look upon his teal features. Itachi glided menacingly over and stared at Kisame. Who avoided his gaze, for obvious reasons.

"What did you put him up to," he breathed.

"Who." Kisame stalled lazily.

"Tobi, you miserable clownfish, Tobi! What did you tell him??" Itachi hissed, holding Kisame against the wall with one hand. Which isn't easy to do, but this is Itachi.

"I didn't tell him to do anything!"

"Liar. Tell me."

"Nothing! Honestly!"

"You're never honest. You told me you had our target, but look how that turned out."

"Pretty well, for you." Kisame grinned tauntingly. "Or did it."

Itachi threw Kisame from the wall and ran off to go find Tobi himself. This was looking serious.

Da da da!

The intercom Leader had had installed turned on. Itachi groaned, but stopped to listen.

"Itachi. Please report to my cavern, now."

Di di di!

Itachi didn't move. What had that jellyfish done.

Da da da!

"Now."

Di di di!

And so he had no choice. But he swore, he'd save Luna, then kill Kisame.

"Itachi?"

Itachi stepped into the shadowy cave that Leader-san used as his office. Lair, he liked to call it. But it was just a cave. "Yes."

Leader turned in his comfy swivelly chair, which he thought made him seem daunting, into where a shadow crossed his pierced face. "I have heard the most… _amusing_ rumor about you," he murmured, and Itachi stiffened. "Yes," he continued, "I see you've heard it too."

Itachi didn't answer. So Pein went on. "Apparently, Kisame made another costly blunder. And do you know what I hear?"

He stared at Itachi from the shadows. "No." Itachi answered.

"I hear you've taken a liking to the girl. Decided to _keep_ her. What's so special about her?"

Itachi did not know how to answer that. There were plenty special things about Luna, so very many, but none he was willing to mention. It's not like he could describe her permanently surprised eyes, or her sweet scent to Leader-san. So he stayed silent.

"Nothing, huh?"

Itachi gritted his teeth and said nothing.

"Bring her too me. Let me see for myself."

Itachi froze. What if she was killed? It was all too possible, it's not like Leader san would see anything interesting in the extraordinary girl that he hid.

"Itachi?"

"No."

"No?" a bemused Pein analyzed him from the dark corner of his desk. "We can't bring her in just because I tell you to, yes? There is a reason I am the leader of the Akatsuki, Itachi," Pein Hissed, drawing himself to his full height, out of his chair. "I could kick you out of here faster than (Snape confronted with shampoo) Kisame can swing that dumb sword of his!"

To be kicked out of the Akatsuki? That would be it. What would he do next? Take Luna and go, he supposed. Do nothing.

But he still couldn't sacrifice Luna. He stood his ground, pale though he was. "No."

"Bring her in, or I'll hunt her down and Kill her now."

"You'll kill her if I bring her anyway."

Leader's expression went from menacing from surprised. "Kill her? Not yet, Itachi. Not yet. For now I simply want to know what you see in her. Bring her."

Itachi relaxed fractionally, and turned to fetch Luna. There was nothing he could do at this point.

"He wants to see me?"

"Yes," Itachi told the innocent blonde witch as they hurried down the dark earthy halls toward Leader-san's 'Lair'. "But I don't think you're in any immediate danger. At least, I hope you're not," he added in a dark growl under his breath, his hand holding Luna's tighter.

Luna said nothing in response, but drew herself in closer to him.

They rounded on the entrance to Leader-san's cave, and Itachi took a deep breath and led Luna into the dimly lit cave.

"You have returned, Itachi."

Itachi was sorely tempted to make an unfriendly remark about stating the obvious, but held his tongue. "Yes." He replied instead.

"And this is the girl?" Pein's eyebrows rose. "She's a bit plain. Doesn't seem your type, Itachi."

Itachi resisted the temptation to knock his lights out, or even protest. Luna caught his eye, and he looked away. He couldn't let himself get carried away in her eyes.

"What is your name?"

Luna seemed to start at being addressed. "Luna Lovegood." She said hesitantly.

"Well, Luna, I-"

And he stopped. He frowned.

Itachi shivered. It was cold. Too cold. This wasn't normal. Luna and Pein felt it too, he could tell bet he way Luna drew closer to him and the way Pein shrunk into his chair. Then Luna whimpered slightly. Itachi glanced at her pretty face and saw terror clutching at her features as she gazed into space out the entrance of Leader-san's office. Itachi didn't see anything, but felt horrible.

Like all the happiness has bean sucked out of the air. Out of his life. None of the joy Luna had brought him seemed to remain. And he began to remember horrible things.

The funny thing was, Leader-san was staring with the same horror as Luna right outside his office, at the same spot as Luna. They both looked about to collapse- Leader-san especially.

It was a dementor. How- why- was a dementor here? Why now, when she didn't have her wand? How would she defend herself, how would she defend Itachi? Itachi did not have a defense fort his sort of thing. Luna felt week in the knees and held onto Itachi for Support. And Comfort. But Itachi was Shivering.

The cold shadow man that sat at the desk addressed her sharply.

"Luna."

Luna looked away from the dementor, trying desperately to fight for a clear mind.

"You see it, don't you." The man Itachi had brought her too said softly. "You see it."

Luna gulped and nodded. Could he see the dementor? How? Was he, too, a magical being?

"Drive it away," He pleaded, "Do something."

She looked at him desperately. "My wand. I don't have my wand." she explained, throwing caution into the wind.

He rummaged in his desk for about three seconds, and then threw her a long dark stick that could only be a wand. She grabbed it and knew that it was.

But there was not more time to be wasted. She grabbed Itachi's hand and pulled him close, thinking only of him.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A silvery shadow whisked out of her wand, transforming into a beautiful rabbit that hopped around the dark cloaked figure (the dementor, not Pein.) until it was driven away. Luna sent her Patronus to chase it out of the caves, all the way away, not just down the hall.

The wand she held felt funny. She hadn't noticed in her desperation, but it was very different from her own. She didn't like it at all, but it had been the best thing she had.

She turned, and walked slowly toward the relieved shadow man's desk and placed the wand on top of it.

Itachi slumped against the wall, and looked at her pleadingly.

She smiled at him, a weary, relieved smile, and helped him up.

"What was that?" he whispered hoarsely into her ear.

"Dementor." Luna whispered back. "You could not see it because you are not of magical decent. The strange thing is, your boss shouldn't be able to see it either. And he had a wand. Did you know…?"

They turned to look at Pein, who was turned the wand forlornly over in his fingers.

He looked up at them, and held the wand still in his hands. "I'm not a wizard." He murmured in response to their unspoken curiosity.

When Itachi and Luna continued to stare in confusion, He looked away. "I'm… a squib." He confessed quietly.

Luna's eyes showed recognition and understanding, While Itachi's stayed just as confused as they were before.

Luna looked up to him and explained quietly.

Itachi seemed to understand then, just as well.

There was silence for a moment, thoughts running through everyone's heads.

"Do you know where you left your wand?" Pein broke the silence.

"No." Luna shook her head.

"I couldn't find it when I went looking." Itachi added.

Pein thought for a moment. The Akatsuki could use the sort of power a witch could provide, but how to persuade her to join? By using Itachi, of course. If she stayed, she got to spend more time with him. He could not force her, because as soon a she got a wand and her power back, which he needed, she would have ultimate power over him. He mustn't let that become a problem. So maybe he could offer her…

"Luna." He spoke suddenly. "I can offer you a part time job in the Akatsuki. You would not, of course, be killed," he looked over at Itachi as he said this. "I could pay you in your currency, all though not very much, I haven't exactly been saving up sickles. You would be aloud to see your family and friends, as long as you did not tell them anything at all. You will, of course, need a new wand, if your old one simply can't be found."

Luna and Itachi looked at each other. Neither had expected anything like that.

Okay. You are reading this going, 'this is nuts. A dementor just happens to show up?' well, yes. That's all there is to that part. If you know your Harry potter, you'll know that 'shouldn't the ministry have them all under control now that Voldemort's gone?' well, the ministry have had a lot of getting back together to do, and The dementor didn't want to be rounded back up. So, the ministry has most of them, but there's always the odd free one that wonders into the odd cave to attack the odd leader of an evil corporation…

Now you can't say I got that wrong, because I have an excuse!

"Don't. Don't take the job, Luna, it's too dangerous. I don't want you hurt." Itachi frowned. Leader-san had given them time to think over the proposition, because… he felt like it, I guess.

"I won't be hurt, Itachi, But I can make sure you aren't either. It's much safer than fighting Voldemort in the Department of Mysteries, and I thought I did that quite well."

"Fought who?"

Luna sighed. "Voldemort. Menace of the Wizarding world. Friend of mine defeated him. We've been over this before…"

"You fought too?" Itachi looked slightly horrified.

Luna caught it. "I'm fine, though," she said. "And through the process I made friends."

Itachi looked down. He still didn't want that sort of risk imposed on Luna, even if she had been through worse. Which he didn't like either.

"Well," Luna said decidedly. "I'm taking the Job." She'd be back in action- except nowhere near as much. And she'd get to spend more time with Itachi, which was her main motive.

"You're not."

"Like you can stop me."

"I'll tie you to the wall."

"I'll put you in the full bodybind."

"You haven't got a wand.

"Not yet I haven't."

Luna stared defiantly into Itachi's gleaming red eyes and saw, not the determination she had expected, but desperation.

She looked down and shook her head. "I won't be hurt," she promised. "I won't do anything so dangerous my wand can't get me out of it."

Itachi walked over and hugged her protectively. "The thing is," he told her softly, "You can't always see it coming."

"I never did take divination."

Itachi smiled, and sat, her hand still clasped in his, down onto the sofa. "Exactly."

But Luna shook her head again, and sat down next to him. "I want to do this. This is a chance to do something again, something more than harvesting plimpies."

"Whats?"

But Luna did not answer. She laid her head down on his shoulder, and simply held his hand.

"You're still not taking the job."

"I am."

"She's not taking the job."

"I am."

"She is or isn't?" Leader-san smiled form the shadows.

"I am accepting your offer with gratitude." Luna said firmly.

"She is declining with grace." Itachi added.

"It seems you would like to join, Luna." Leader-san said, nodding to himself. He ignored Itachi, who was glowering in the corner.

"I do." Luna said. "Your terms are fair. If you will let me simply visit Home to acquire a new wand I will be back to start whenever it is convenient." She had assumed that being polite was the best way to start with the new boss. She wondered, was she overdoing it…?

Itachi shot her a look, and she smiled at him. "I will be careful."

Itachi was not appeased. (He needed a shrubbery.)

Pein sighed. "If you would prefer it, Itachi, I can add Luna to your group of you and Kisame. With her we have the odd pair anyway, so we might as well make it a trio. That way you can protect her all you want." Pein was so good sometimes…

Itachi had his shrubbery. Now let's see Leader-san cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring. But for now, he would take what he could get. There was no dissuading Luna now, not now that Leader-san was there to convince as well.

"Thank you." He said stiffly, and Luna recognized defeat and went over to hug him in thanks.

"It seems al has worked out well." Pein leaned back in his chair, considering putting up his feet on the desk as well, for effect. But he didn't. "Itachi, if you would escort her down to the Akatsuki lounge I should announce over the speaker her arrival and you should introduce her to her new comrades.

Itachi nodded briefly, and took Luna's warm hand. They exited the room together.

Da da da!

"Attention, Akatsuki…"

Itachi and Luna, hand in hand, were walking rapidly toward the lounge. As Leader-san finished his explanation, which excluded the fact that Luna was a witch, only that she had a very special jutsu up her sleeve that only she could use, they came into view of the entrance.

The room was void of its usual dull clamor, there was only silence. All eyes, including Zetsu's left, were on Luna and Itachi as they proceeded into the furnished cave, their footsteps echoing dauntingly.

Itachi stopped; Luna followed suit. Everyone was staring- Luna looked down.

"Luna Lovegood." Itachi said, breaking the silence reluctantly, motioning toward her. "Luna, the Akatsuki." He pointed to each of them in turn- they were all there. "Kakuzu, Deidara, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, Hidan, Konan."

Nobody moved, except Luna, who smiled meekly. "Hello." She was still looking at the floor.

She got no response. Except for Tobi.

"Hi Luna!"

Luna looked up gratefully. "Hi, Tobi." She smiled a little wider. Tobi motioned for her to sit next to him on the couch, and she looked up at Itachi, who nodded.

At least Tobi would be friendly. It was best to get Luna as comfortable as possible around the Akatsuki. And that meant letting her socialize.

It still felt awkward letting her run off when he had spent the last week protecting her from sight.

Luna shuffled forward and sat down next to Tobi, who asked her something about oddly colored lice, and a small conversation was started.

It could be heard clearly, as no one else made any noise.

"No, only on penguins."

"But I heard that sometimes you find them on walruses, are you sure?"

"They could be on walruses, if they had jumped off the penguins."

"Where do you find all this stuff out?"

"Oh, Daddy runs a magazine of these things. A year or two ago someone sent in a page and a half article on why they prefer penguins in Madagascar to penguins down on Antarctica."

"Wow!"

Somebody snorted.

Luna looked up. Behind the couch stood Zetsu.

"Surely you don't believe in your stupid penguin lice."

"There have been sightings, you know." Luna said stubbornly, looking up at him with her wide blue eyes.

"Sure. About as many sightings as there have been of a dragon." Zetsu rolled his eyes.

"Oh, there aren't that many."

Zetsu looked at her funny. (With one half of his face. The other half was laughing.)

"I mean- yeah." Luna winced. She was dealing with muggles, who didn't think Dragons existed. Whoops. She couldn't blow this secret.

Zetsu shook his head, half of him still laughing. "You are bizarre," his multicolored self said together, from inside his giant flytrap.

"If you haven't noticed, Zetsu…" Kakuzu trailed off, coming up to the couch as well.

"Like you're one to talk." Konan rolled her eyes. "You've got six faces."

"The better to see you with."

"Shut up."

"You've got six faces?" Luna asked. "That's unusual."

"Yeah, they're on his back," Konan assured her. "It's creepy."

"What's creepy is your face."

"How can you even use a lame line like that?" Deidara piped up from his chair in the corner. "That line is for losers who can't come up with a satisfactory line on their own."

"You're just jealous."

Zetsu's right side laughed harder. Deidara's eyes (eye?) narrowed. "Jealous, of a ten eyed freak like you? I don't think so."

"I can see the back of my head." (In a mirror)

"I can see the back of you head too."

"I can see _your face_."

"Ugh, shut the &!$ up!" Hidan moaned. "Deidara was right, you have no brains."

"There was a money sign in that swear." Kakuzu noted.

"One track mind or what?" Konan grinned at Luna.

Before long, everyone was laughing about jabs at Kakuzu, except Kakuzu himself, Itachi, (who was just watching.) and Kisame.

Kisame was sulking in a corner.

Itachi walked over to him. "Kisame."

"What." Kisame grunted, not looking up from the rubber band he'd been toying with.

Itachi slapped him. (Really, really hard, this is Itachi we're talking about.)

Kisame was sent staggering into the coffee table and tripped over it, sending the right side of Zetsu into another hysterical fit of laughter that spread to the rest of the Akatsuki. Itachi giggled a bit himself. (Except I can't see Itachi giggling. But he did.)

Luna was sent out the next day, to acquire a wand and fix whatever she needed to do with her family and friends. She was greeted with hugs and kisses from her dad, who had been worried sick. She told him she'd gotten a part time job and would be out every other week, but wouldn't tell him where. She went to the ministry of magic and got special permission (don't ask me how) to work in such close proximity to muggles, as long as they wrote it off to an odd jutsu. (Except Itachi, who was allowed to keep his memories.)

A few days after that, she returned to the Akatsuki. This time, she had her wand, and a trunk full of robes (everyone else dressed strangely, why shouldn't she?) and a few old schoolbooks for review. (Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure!) She was assigned her own cave, which she furnished with furniture she bought with some money she had saved up, and pictures of all her friends (aren't friends great?) as well as a few magical items she brought for home comfort. (She made sure they had anti-muggle charms on them so they looked like ordinary trinkets to the Akatsuki.)

Obla-di, Obla-da, life goes on.

So, you know, you'd think it was happy endings all around. Itachi and Luna get to be together, Luna isn't trapped, she is comfortable enough with the Akatsuki, and Kisame, who is for my purposes the villain of this story, got his in the end.  
But you've forgotten something.

Or maybe you remembered and thought I'd forgotten.

You're wrong.

I remembered perfectly well.

Now let's find out, what _will_ Deidara do?

theycallmetheweaseltheycallmetheweaseltheycallmetheweaseltheycalmetheweasel

I KNOW Tobi shouldn't have a clue thestrals etc exist, but I needed something for tem to bond over. Please excuse my blunder, although I did it on purpose.

Itachi and his shrubbery/herring? Monty Python's Holy Grail. What I meant was that Itachi didn't just want to be able to be there when she was in danger, he didn't want her in danger at all. But you take what you can get.

(Actually, I just added the shrubbery bit because the word appease reminds me of the knights who say Ni)

Originally, 'the better to see you with' was not a pick up line, but it sounds so much like one that it is, officially. So… Kakuzu likes Konan? Maybe he was just teasing. It's your call.

It was Dianna's ideas for Pein to be a squib. She gets credit for it.

Okay! That's a wrap. I'm working now on part 2, although I can't promise it'll be anytime soon. Soon enough. Just not within the week or something stupid like that. It's blackmailing Itachi, which is also from the im conversations. I really hope you liked it, please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. I will be grateful.


	3. Blackmailing Itachi

All right. Sorry it took so long- fact is I finished it in a little over a week but kept forgetting to post it.

This is part two of my lunakatsuki trilogy. Yes, trilogy! I'm writing a third part- it's how the couple met in the first place. Dianna said I should. An excuse to write more! Although I'm sure you don't care, there you go.

I want to say that I don't like how this turned out- I am, however, to lazy to fix it. The ending is very abrupt, I really hate it, and the whole karma thing ended up not tying in at all! Just the whole thing isn't as smooth, isn't as nice. But it was fun to write anyway. And there are some very nice parts. Please don't tell me how horrible it is compared to the first because I know.

I don't own Luna Lovegood. I don't own Itachi Uchiha. I don't own any of the people in this fanficiton. I don't own Japan, either, although I will someday. Now, please, please read it.

About the applesauce- well, after Dianna and I decided to make Luna and Itachi a couple, we decided the applesauce had possessed us to make such a couple. That's what I'm referencing.

MbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspnMbdvaaigwtspn

Deidara sat in his room, toying with some stray scraps of paper he'd found lying around.

Ever since Luna had officially become one of the Akatsuki, Kisame's theory kept coming back to him. It was subtle, but Deidara was certain there was something going on between Itachi and Luna. What he needed was proof, and not just the fact that Luna hung around Itachi more than any other Akatsuki, or that they exchanged looks that seemed to say, 'we have a secret.'

So he came to his decision at long last.

He stood up, and let the paper fall onto his singed carpet floors. (Stone floors were cold in the morning.)

"How long are you going to be able to keep this up?"

Itachi was sitting next to Luna in her cave. Luna had locked the door magically, (she had had one installed. Konan did too- it's useful when you live with a bunch of guys.) So that the other Akatsuki members could not enter like Kisame had done in Itachi's room.

"I can't tell them, Itachi. If they find out, the ministry of magic will step in, and their memories will be erased, as well as yours, and I won't be allowed to stay any longer. I've got quite a bit of leash as it is, you know."

Itachi sighed unhappily, and continued to toy with his favorite partner's long blonde hair. "They can keep a secret. Except Tobi and Kisame. They suck at keeping secrets."

"Exactly." Luna leaned against him waving her wand lazily and loving the way light green sparks flew around them. She had missed the protection of a wand.

And now she had the protection of her wand, and Itachi.

Everything seemed to be in order.

But Itachi was dissatisfied. "I don't like it, keeping this from everybody. I just get a bad feeling."

"They can't hurt me."

And Itachi was beginning to believe it. He had been carrying out missions over the past two weeks with Kisame and Luna, and had found Luna to be easily handling everything she was asked. She used magic as little as possible, because she didn't like having her wand out in public, even though it was passed off as a rod that channels her chakra into odd happenings.

Which was really what it was, although she didn't use chakra.

Luna was capable of handling herself. Itachi was glad that she wouldn't be hurt- but in a way he missed protecting her. Her dependence on him. He missed that.

So he sat there twirling her soft hair thoughtfully, as she created the sparks that flew around them, lazily creating a bit of a romantic setting.

He wondered if she was doing it on purpose.

Deidara was outside the door. Luna's door, listening intently. As far as he could tell, they were keeping a secret. For sure. He had caught something else, something about a ministry, but couldn't be sure of the words after that.

He wanted to know what they were doing, not just what they were saying. He brought his hand up to his face, and adjusted the lens of his mechanical eye.

Incase you didn't know, which you shouldn't, in this fanficiton, Deidara had recently installed into the eye (somehow.) a mechanism he found most useful.

The ability to see through solid objects.

Like… Luna's door, per say. (Okay- if he could already do this in the anime/manga, or said specifically that it was impossible, I apologize and just stick with it.)

So he crept closer to the door in order to hear better and saw-

Itachi watched the sparks drift around them, they were changing colors now. They went to white, then red, then blue, then back to green in a slow trickle of color.

Luna was leaning against him still, she looked up at him and her lips curved into a smile.

Itachi watched her as she leaned her head against his shoulder, looking up at him contentedly.

He brushed a stray hair out of her face, one of the sparks dancing around his fingers as he did.

He leaned in and kissed her.

Luna's eyes widened- she dropped her wand in surprise. The sparks dissolved gradually into the air, but Itachi still felt their presence. He brought his hand to her cheek and held her face gently.

When they broke apart, Luna sighed and slumped against him, holding his hand. She looked like she could fall asleep just right there where she lay, and Itachi smiled. She really was beautiful.

The world was beautiful.

Gag.

Deidara turned, he had what he needed.

More than he needed.

He should just go back to his room and think about how to manipulate Itachi.

But Deidara was a sucker for a quick romance, so he, against his better judgment, turned back.

He waited a minute, and conversation started up again.

"They're gonna find out eventually," murmured Itachi, running his fingers through Luna's hair. "It's hard to hide the fact that you use magic."

"I should be able to conceal being a witch, Itachi, there's all sorts of charms for protection against just that. Memory charms, muggle repelling charms, the works." Luna supplied, closing her eyes at Itachi's touch.

"Yes, but the Akatsuki are smarter than you give us credit for." Itachi tugged on her hair smartly.

"I can handle it. Don't go telling anyone, I really don't want to leave. I like it here." With you, Luna added to herself.

Itachi shook his head and went back to stroking Luna. "This secret is trouble, Luna. There's something wrong."

"I can't tell anyone. The statue of secrecy, Itachi. It's against the law. You have to understand; I've bent the rules severely just telling you about it. Anything else and this all ends. And that," Luna concluded, "Is the second to last thing I want."

"What's the last thing in the world you want?"

"I don't have to tell you that."

Deidara had to hold on to the wall to keep himself from falling over, what with the information cramming into his head. He quite forgot all about Itachi's affair, there was something much bigger going on here.

Something much better.

This was the key to power. If he were to hold Luna's secret over Itachi… both of their secrets over him…

He couldn't get excited just yet, he'd blow his cover. So he slunk off to his cave to contemplate victory.

"Hi Luna!" Tobi got up off the boulder he'd been sitting on as Luna lowered herself into Tobi's mushroom cave. They'd been meeting there for about a week, because Tobi was the friendliest of the Akatsuki and this way they could talk without being interrupted.

"Hello, Tobi!" Luna waved. "How have you been?"

"Good!" Tobi grinned. Or at least, Luna thought he did, his mask was in the way again. "You?"

Luna smiled. "I'm great."

"How's Itachi?"

Tobi was the only of the Akatsuki who knew for sure (except Deidara) that Itachi and Luna were a couple. Kisame had never quite let go of his theory that they were dating, but they had done a pretty good job of hiding that they were more than friends in public. So he had begun to question it, despite the 'proof' Tobi had brought him.

"Itachi is great." Luna answered. "Have you found any spore toads?" she asked this every time she met him.

"Not yet I haven't." Tobi bounced a bit where he sat. He was always restless. "I've looked, though!" He always answered like that.

And so the conversation commenced.

Itachi was in the Akatsuki lounge, searching for the checkerboard Kisame had hidden. Kisame refused to tell him where it was, because Itachi had taped 'Reaper' over his favorite show.

So it was as Itachi was kneeling by coffee table that Deidara approached him. "Hey, Itachi." Deidara greeted him with a slight smirk.  
For the purpose of my entertainment, Itachi jumped and the back of his head hit the underside of the coffee table. Snicker

"What." Itachi grumbled, embarrassed from such a display of coordination.

Deidara opened his mouth, then closed it again. He had caught sight of Zetsu, who was sitting innocently flicking through channels on the couch. And next to him was Hidan, vouching for the remote. Over in the corner was Kakuzu, who was flipping through a magazine Deidara had lent him.

This room was full of potential eavesdroppers. No one could know about his yet.

"Come with me." Deidara turned and began to walk out of the room.

He turned around, and Itachi was checking the closet. "In a minute." He said, lifting a pile of blankets.

"Now." Deidara dragged Itachi out of the room, with the blankets he hadn't put down.

"What do you want." Itachi asked, combing through the wool blankets.

Deidara smiled sinisterly. Itachi looked up and frowned, all thoughts of checkers aside. "My laundry done, my furniture dusted, a few errands run, and an iced tea." Deidara rattled off, never taking his eyes off Itachi.

"You've gone nuts." Itachi shook his head and proceeded to restack the blankets, having looked through them all. But he could not shake off a foreboding cloud hanging above the two. "There is nothing on earth that could make me go around doing your chores."

Deidara's smile grew. He was definitely enjoying this. "Isn't there, though?" he said softly, twirling a strand of his long hair over in his fingers.

"There isn't." Itachi made to walk back toward the Akatsuki lounge, but Deidara stopped him.

"I could just go in there and tell everyone about you girlfriend."

Itachi froze.

"_Everything_ about your girlfriend, Itachi. Everything."

Anger shook his frame. He knew this secret was trouble. Dropping the blankets, he slammed his fist into the cave wall, leaving a crater the size of a dog in its wake.

Deidara laughed. "Hop to it," he hissed to Itachi as he strode out off down the hall.

"You have to go?"

"Yup, there're a few things I need to take care of." Luna hopped up from the octagonal surfaced rock she had been seated on. Tobi stretched from the floor, which he had been lying on.

"Well, okay. See you some other time then."

Luna hoisted herself back up through the ceiling, (even though she's not tall enough to reach it.) and skipped off to the forest to practice spells she didn't feel safe practicing in her room.

Itachi returned to his room after a hard day's (night) work of bending to Deidara's will. That complete- censor-ness

He collapsed onto his bed, and turned on the radio.

-Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup. -

Itachi closed his eyes.

-Nothing's gonna change my world… nothing's gonna change my world. –

He turned the radio off again, and got up to go visit Luna.

Deidara had told him not to tell her, and he didn't intend to. Like she needed something to worry her. But he needed to see her.

So he listened as his footsteps echoed down the long and winding path that led to her door. (It will never disappear…)

Tok. Tok. Tok. Tok.

The door opened, and a pleasantly surprised Luna seemed to wash away the pain of being bossed around by a lowlife like Deidara.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, please do."

A little less than a week passed. Itachi began to dread seeing Deidara walk into sight, as it meant giving up watching his favorite show for the Addams family, or some demeaning task that didn't really need to be done anyway. But he did them all. Because as much as he didn't like keeping Luna's secret, he did like having her around. And he intended to keep her around.

He had so far managed to keep any word of this from Luna's ears, and mended his ego every night by going to see her. She was the only thing keeping him from kicking Deidara's sorry more censor-ness

Deidara returned, once more, to watch Luna and Itachi. He'd been coming every night so far, watching as they would share private moments that were not meant for Deidara's prying eyes.

Tonight was no different.

Today they were leaning against the wall, seated on Luna's bed.

"Really."

"If you say so." Itachi shook his head. It was hard to imagine that there were 5-foot creatures with suckers and stingers that bit, too. But she promised she'd seen them.

Then again, she'd also promised she'd seen a dragon.

And a hippogriff.

And the horn of a crumplehorned snorkack.

Itachi had never seen so much as a dragon's tail.

"Where do you see this stuff," Itachi sighed, leaning his head against hers.

"The skrewts were from care of magical creatures. A class I never took, but I still saw them. They were hard to miss. The hippogriffs, too. Do you remember I told you about them?" Luna explained happily, squeezing his hand.

Itachi kissed her forehead.

Lucky bastard. (THE APPLESAUCE MADE ME DO IT)

Deidara started. What? Surely he _hadn't_ just thought that.

Feeling a bit queasy, he called it quits for the night and went back to his own cave.

The next night, he returned once again. He watched as Itachi put his arm around her, as she reacted so warmly.

They exchanged usual conversations, how they were, what they'd done that day, and when they ran out of topics, they just sat there in silence, lost in their thoughts, holding each others hands.

And before he could stop it, Deidara was imagining himself holding Luna's hand.

He quickly shook the thought away.

Nothing could possibly be more ridiculous.

Once again, he left early.

Back in his room, he slumped into a large, cushy orange chair and put his head in his hands. Something wasn't working out right.

He thought back to what he'd been watching over the past few days- and found himself resenting Itachi more and more.

Maybe a good night's sleep would help.

But it didn't. Each time Deidara saw Itachi's face the next day, a scowl would overcome his features and he'd order Itachi to do something stupid that didn't need to bed one just to take out his temper.

But it wasn't enough.

As Deidara watched Itachi and Luna getting closer and closer by the firelight, (Luna had a fireplace installed.) He felt the need to punish Itachi further. To break the two apart. Somehow keep them apart.

Then, maybe then…

But he pushed thoughts of himself by Luna's fireplace, Luna herself in his arms, to the very back of his head. He didn't need that kind of nonsense. He needed to do something about Itachi. And possibly his close proximity to Luna.

As Itachi sat listening to his Ipod in the Lounge, His inner Itachi groaned loudly as Deidara stormed around the corner. Deidara's temper had been rising over the last two days, and it seemed to have reached a peak. Which meant somehow this would affect Itachi.

"You!" Barked the blonde blackmailer.

Itachi got up before he could be told so, and followed Deidara routinely outside the lounge.

"What."

Deidara scowled at him.

"Stay away from her."

Itachi's insides seized up a bit. "Who, Konan?" He asked, feeling a bit queasy.

"Luna."

"Why should I?" Itachi snarled at Deidara, who snarled right back.

"Because otherwise she'll be out of here faster than (Snape confronted with shampoo) Kisame can swing that dumb sword of his!" (Yes, that's common Akatsuki simile.)

They stared at each other, and it was hard to tell which face held more hatred. (XD Hp vol. 3)

Several things were running through Itachi's head. Was he selfish enough to take Luna in his own desire despite her wish to stay?

He wouldn't get to see her either way.

So he might as well make her happy.

"Fine." Itachi turned away, and trudged back to the Akatsuki lounge. He noticed his Ipod was still in his hand; he crushed it like a toothpick.

Deidara stood, boring a hole into the back of Itachi's head as he and his cloud of doom and gloom Dragged it's pitiful self back to the Akatsuki lounge, remains of a broken Ipod falling from his hand.

It was oddly satisfying.

Luna sat in her room, casting small, glowing balls around to hang in the air. She liked how they looked, and maybe Itachi would too. He'd be here any minute, like he had the past nights. She waved her wand lazily, sending her glowing creations flitting about the room, the shadows that overlapped around the room ever changing.

Minutes past. Itachi was late, later than he'd been in a while. But Luna wasn't very worried; he'd explain when he got here. So she played with colors, turning the lights to orange, yellow and pink in turn, sending out ribbons of light to dance among the beautiful red lights.

Itachi was still not there. Luna waited, no longer occupied with her flitting lights. Where was he?

But he didn't come. No one came- Luna was left alone with her lights, which seemed only half as bright as they had hours ago. Luna turned them off and prepared herself for bed.

Itachi had been locking himself in his room for hours at a time. It was hard to order him around like that- but Deidara thought that maybe he was pained enough. Less effort on his part, then.

The thing was, Luna was looking a little down as well. Not that Deidara cared-

Or did he.

That was the most bothersome thing.

Itachi had not come for three nights in a row, now. In fact, Luna had seen very little of him over the past three days. Except on the one mission they had been assigned- Itachi had avoided her eye the whole time. Kisame had been weirded out, but that was another story.

So once again Luna was alone with her wand in hand, playing with the armchair, transfiguring it into all sorts of patterns and sizes. She gave it ears, then made them hairy.

She had nearly given up hope of Itachi coming at all.

Tok. Tok. Tok. Tok.

Luna jumped up, leaving the armchair covered in purple swirlies and the size of a teacup, and ran for the door, stumbling over her own feet.

"Alohamora!"

The door sprang open.

She looked expectantly up at the cloaked figure outside her door, and her expression fell, as it was only Deidara.

Deidara, however, was perfectly fine. Except he didn't know what he was doing.

"Yes?" Luna pulled herself together.

Deidara hadn't thought his far ahead. "Busy?" He asked, cursing himself for even knocking. Why did he need company?

Luna glanced down the hall briefly, as though expecting someone, but shook her head. "No."

Deidara gestured toward the hall. "Take a walk?" He asked mildly, wondering why he couldn't have thought this through more thoughrally beforehand.

Luna nodded, although she didn't look particularly enthusiastic.

Luna wondered why Deidara had showed up at all. She barely knew him- they'd only ever spoken a few words to each other before. But she walked beside him now, for no good reason it seemed. Deidara had nothing to say.

There was conversation. But it was vague; Luna didn't really feel like she was there. She wondered where Itachi was- she hoped he was feeling well.

She hoped he still loved her.

She was lost in thought when Deidara stopped. When had they gotten outside? She looked over at him, he was staring up at he moon.

"Luna." He said, not really asking anything. "Your name means moon, doesn't it."

"Yes," Luna answered. "My mother gave me the name."

"Your mother?"

Luna nodded. "She past away years ago, though."

"Ah." Deidara said awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You've killed so many people it doesn't make a difference to you."

Deidara grinned. "You're right. I don't care at all. But it's the polite thing to say."

"The Akatsuki aren't often polite."

There was an awkward silence. Why did Deidara care about being polite?

"Well… well I should probably get going." Deidara said, and Luna looked up from a small plant with dull green buds on it that she had been watching absentmindedly.

"Okay then." Luna watched him leave, then turned back to find her way through the tunnels back to her room.

Itachi still hadn't come. Deidara had been round twice, though. He was nice enough, but somehow never really struck her as someone she'd like to spend time with.

She wanted to spend time with Itachi.

But he still hadn't come.

"Hi, Luna!"

"Hello, Tobi." Luna slumped against the rock wall of Tobi's mushroom cavern. "How are you."

"Good," Tobi answered, swinging his legs against the boulder he was seated atop. "You?"

"I'm okay." Luna said, but she didn't feel like it.

Tobi waited a minute, then asked, "What's wrong?"

Luna looked up. "What?"

"You didn't ask me about the spore toads. I figured you had something on your mind." Tobi nodded wisely, or as wise as a Tobi can nod.

Luna sighed. "Found any African spore toads?"

"Nope. So what's up with you?"

Luna looked down.

Tobi's expression dropped. (Don't ask me how I know- I just do. Damn mask…) "What?" He asked worriedly.

Luna didn't know why, but Tobi's concern seemed to set off all the tears she had held back every night when Itachi didn't show.

Tobi panicked slightly as she sat there, her wide eyes overflowing. He didn't know what to do, so he just sat there shifting nervously as she let her tears run down her cheeks, sobbing lightly from time to time.

Eventually, her tears dried up, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry." She said shakily. "It's not fair of me to break down on you like this."

"Um, it's okay," Tobi assured her. "Are you done now…?"

Luna nodded, and wiped her eyes with the dark blue robes she wore. "I'm fine."

"So what made you so sad?" Tobi asked, coming over to sit beside her now that it was safe.

"Itachi hasn't come for nearly a week." Luna mumbled; she didn't trust herself to speak very loud. "I haven't spoken to him for days."

Now Tobi wished he hadn't asked. He wasn't exactly very good at relationships, none of the Akatsuki were. Except perhaps Itachi, but he seemed to be screwing up this one pretty bad.

"He hasn't been talking to anyone lately," Tobi said nervously. "It's not just you. He seems generally a but put down."

"Oh, god, do you think I did something?" Luna whispered, hugging herself. "Maybe I said something, made him feel unwelcome?"

"I don't think so." Tobi frowned. "I think its Deidara."

Luna looked up at him in surprise. "What, Deidara? Why him?"

"I pay attention. Itachi looks even worse every time Deidara gets within his range of vision, and Deidara's spirits have been lifting."

Luna frowned. "It could be a coincidence," she said slowly. "Deidara didn't seem like the kind of person to do that."

Tobi brightened up. "Tobi will find out!!!" He exclaimed happily. "Meet you here in two days, Tobi will know everything!!"

Luna smiled a bit. "Thanks, Tobi."

"Come on, let's go outside- Yesterday (all my troubles seemed so far away) I found a rare species of mushrooms that I want to show you. They're translucent, you know. Amazingly delicate." Tobi Jumped up, pulling Luna with him. He was glad she was feeling better; time to get her mind off Itachi.

"I'd like to see them," Luna answered, as Tobi helped her up out of the cave. "Thanks, Tobi."

Tobi was wandering around, feeling happy about nothing in particular, when he ran into Deidara. Who was pacing restlessly outside the Akatsuki lounge.

He stopped.

Deidara didn't. He turned to pace to the right, but kept going, down the hallway, leaving the entrance to the Akatsuki lounge open. He hadn't noticed Tobi.

Who, incase you didn't know, is a good spy.

Following Deidara, he wound through the barely lit tunnels and coves until He and his quarry slowed to a stop at last, and Deidara knocked on a solid wall.

Which doesn't make sense, unless you know that Luna covered the entrance to Itachi's cave with a solid wall that opens at his whim. So that Kisame couldn't get back in. Which you don't because I haven't told you yet. So just so you know- wait I just told you. Never mind.

Anyway, it bamboozled Tobi. (Isn't that a great word?)

"Itachi!" Yelled Deidara. "I want a word!"

Low and behold, the wall disintegrated into thin air, leaving open the entrance to a cave room that Tobi assumed was Itachi's.

How did he _do_ that?

Itachi showed up at the entrance, his face tiredly blank. He looked like he hadn't slept well for a week. He looked worse than that.

He looked as bad as Luna.

Worse, actually. Much worse.

"Itachi, go pick up my dry cleaning, wouldn't you?" Deidara spoke, and Itachi glared at him spitefully.

"Aren't you satisfied with what you've got?" He spat at Deidara, clenching his fist.

"Never, Itachi, Never. Now let's get going with that dry cleaning, or someone will mysteriously find out about Luna's condition. Wouldn't want that, eh?"

Itachi's expression went null, and he shoved past Deidara and walked down the hall. (To go get Deidara's dry cleaning.)

Deidara smirked, and stalked off, leaving Itachi's room open. Although not for long, it just closed itself automatically.

And Tobi went to inspect. He knocked on the door, it didn't do anything. He inspected it for hinges, none to be found. He slammed himself against it, which turned out to be stupid cause he got a headache and nothing happened anyway.

But a least he knew what was going on.

Luna was gonna have a field day.

"Hiiiiiii Luna!!!!!" Tobi was nearly bouncing up and down on his usual boulder. Luna smiled weakly.

"Hello, Tobi. Did you find-"

"No toads, but guess what guess what guess what---!!!!"

"What?" Luna asked, sitting against the wall, waiting for what she hoped would come.

"I found out what happened to Itachi!!!!!"

"What- what? What happened?" Luna hopped back up.

Tobi cleared his throat importantly. "Deidara's blackmailing him." He said clearly, sitting up straight.

Luna stood there, her expression blank as she processed what was going on.

So Tobi added in details. "He said Itachi'd better do what he says or he'll tell everyone about your condition or something."

Tobi jumped back. Because Luna had gotten a demonic expression on her face. She was shaking- if this were DBZ I think maybe she'd have that power coursing around her like all the super sayains have. Just for effect.

She whipped out her wand- (although Tobi only knew it as her chakra channeling stick thing) and disappeared with a crack.

Tobi stared at the place she'd just been. Could she teach him that…?

Deidara sat in his room, his feet up on a pouf he'd taken from one of his victim's houses once they'd been done away with. It was a bit burnt, but most of his possessions were.

BANG (for lack of a better sound affect)

Deidara jumped, his feet slipping off the pouf. What just happened?

He leapt to his feet, his hand reaching for the bag of explosive clay he kept by his side. "Who's there!" He called, although it may have just been an echo from the lounge, it was close by and Konan never had liked that vase.

He turned, checking that no one had crept behind him, but no one was there. So he sat tentatively back down, withdrawing his hand from his clay.

Deidara decided, after about ten minutes of jumping at small noises, that he was being paranoid and he ought to go somewhere more populated.

So he left for the Akatsuki lounge.

There was another loud noise. But it was definitely coming from his room this time. Deidara spun around, and found a potted plant he'd been keeping (it was from Tobi- he was always checking to make sure Deidara hadn't thrown it away.) in pieces on the floor.

Three feet from where he'd left it.

He rushed over to it, inspecting it, finding nothing unusual about it except where it was.

So he swept it up, and threw it away. Tobi would just have to deal.

Deidara was flicking through channels on the TV, just to bother Zetsu who was trying to watch 'Seinfeld'. (or half trying, the other one was trying to watch 30's rock. They never ended up watching anything anyway…)

Click. Click. Click. Click… hang on.

Deidara stopped flicking a minute, leaving it on 30's rock. ("Ha!" exclaimed half of Zetsu.)

Where'd the channel button go?

It was there; where it usually was- but whenever he clicked the channel button, the volume went up and down.

The volume button did the same thing.

None of the other buttons changed the channel either.

And Deidara _hated_ 30's rock. Everyone in the Akatsuki knew that.

So he tried to get up, but he tripped.

_What- _

His legs were stuck together, as though by glue. So he hopped out of the lounge, amid general laughter.

He stumbled toward his room; luckily it was the closest to the lounge, pulling apart on his legs the whole time.

And suddenly they came apart, and he fell awkwardly onto his backside. He got up, looking around to make sure no one had seen him, and was disappointed to find Kakuzu laughing his face (faces?) off on the other end of the corridor.

"Hi Luna!!" Tobi waved tentatively as she lowered herself down into his mushroom hideaway.

"Hello, Tobi." She answered as usual. "Found any African spore toads lately?"

Tobi sighed in relief. She wasn't scary anymore- that was the first time Tobi had seen her mad. He hadn't known it was possible for Luna to be mad like that. (Neither did the authoress… but surprises, surprises ) "Not yet," Tobi answered. "Feeling any better?"

"A little…" Luna trailed off. "Listen, Tobi…"

Deidara could no longer blame his string of mysterious luck on coincidence- this stuff didn't happen like that. There was something bigger going on- it was scaring him. His favorite book had been eaten away by some bookworm or other, his favorite comfy chair disappeared into mid air _as he was sitting on it _and he kept hearing things- but as soon as he'd turn toward them, they'd be quite. Worse- every time he'd open his mouth to speak to someone, he'd find he couldn't. He could say anything when he was alone, but no sound would escape his lips when anyone else was around. Which stopped him from getting anything he wanted, or telling people anything, really.

And whenever anyone else said something, a buzzing would fill his ears and he'd have to ask that person to repeat themselves (with a notepad- he couldn't speak.) three or four times before the buzzing stopped. Then they'd say something else and it would start again.

After tripping for the fifth time on absolutely nothing, Tobi found him.

"Hi, Deidara! What's up?"

Deidara opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cursed his vocal cords inwardly.

"Cat got your tongue?" Tobi said perkily. It was obnoxious, but Deidara couldn't raise his voice to stop him.

And suddenly he could speak again- but he wasn't saying what he wanted to say. "I've been having bad luck all day." Was what came out of his mouth.

Tobi looked at him, his head cocked to the side. "Bad luck?"

Deidara tried to say something, but couldn't again. So he nodded sullenly.

Tobi looked at him thoughtfully- or at least you'll have to assume he did, his mask was once again covering his features- and spoke. "Do you believe in karma, Deidara?"

Deidara looked at him as if to say, "What sort of an idiot believes that junk?"

Tobi shook his head. "Tut tut, Deidara. Have you been naughty? When you're not nice, bad things happen. That's karma."

Deidara rolled his eyes, and shoved past Tobi down the hallway.

He hadn't noticed that the buzzing hadn't filled his ears as Tobi spoke.

Deidara's mood got worse and worse as the third day of torture rolled by. He'd tried taking it out on Itachi, but he couldn't speak. Still. He'd written notes, but every time his pencil hit the paper, something in the background would fall and break, giving Deidara the feeling he was being watched.

Maybe Tobi hadn't been being stupid.

He shook his head. Of course Tobi was being stupid, Tobi was always stupid. But he couldn't help but shy away from pencil and paper after the fifth time something broke.

Itachi was lying, face down, on his bed. This was position he'd taken to lying in for hours at a time, as he had nothing better to do. He'd just lie there, trying to empty his mind because whenever he thought about anything, his thoughts wandered to Luna and that hurt too much.

CRACK.

Itachi jumped a bit, but didn't look up. What was there to look at? It couldn't help him anyway, he didn't think there was a cure for what he had. Except Luna…

Her smiling face seemed to break through the darkness in his mind, and Itachi winced. He shoed her away, her smile fading along with her image.

Why was she so adorable? Why couldn't he live successfully without her. Why did she break through his dreams like that, why could he imagine her touch?

Something touched his arm.

Itachi froze.

A warm hand was rested on his arm.

It thawed him enough to lift his head. Slowly, mind. He didn't want to face his imagination, to fin the empty space where he was imagining Luna.

Her name shot through him, and he closed his eyes a minute to shoo her away.

But the hand was still there.

Itachi looked- finally.

And there she was. Her beauty seemed magnified a hundred fold, as she stood there, her hand on his arm, a smile playing on her lips. He closed his eyes again- when he opened them, she was still there. Neither her nor her smile faded. He stared on. Drinking in her image, her appearance.

She sat down on the bed beside where he lay, his torso twisted so he could see her. She lay down next to him, and stared back into his eyes.

They were so real.

Itachi lifted a hand and stroked her cheek, she closed her eyes at his touch.

It was really Luna. He smiled- for the first time in a week or more. He pulled her into a hug so tight he worried she might be suffocating- but she was hugging him back just as tightly, so she surely was fine.

Itachi did not let go. He would never let go again, that was for sure. He pulled his hand through her long dirty blonde hair, and she clung to his back like a mollusk.

A small, warm mollusk.

Tok. Tok. Tok.

Itachi froze once again- his happy oblivion shattered, he let his arms drop around her. His smile faded and he pushed her away, the door opening.

Deidara walked in.

(He'd decided Tobi was nuts and he'd take his chance.)

You could see the change in expression- Deidara's face went from irritated, to surprised, to angry.

"Itachi." He drew himself up to his full height, which didn't do much as he had good posture anyway. "What _are_ you doing." He hissed.

Itachi didn't want to turn around, didn't want to see the hurt look on Luna's face. He couldn't tell her what was going on, or her secret would be revealed and she'd be forced to leave the Akatsuki.

Deidara looked over Itachi's shoulder, at Luna. Deidara's eyes widened, and despite his better instinct, Itachi looked too.

Luna was standing behind him, to the right, holding her wand steadily in her hand. She had a determined look in her eye that Itachi only had tie to glimpse before she yelled

"Stupefy!"

Deidara fell over, unconscious. Itachi stared, unable to keep the second smile in the hour form creeping over his face. "What did you _do_ to him?"

"Stunning spell," Luna said calmly, levitating his body eerily into one of Itachi's chairs and tying him up with strong looking ropes that erupted fm the tip of her wand.

"What just happened."

"Deidara won't be bothering you anymore." Luna said, smiling as well. "Remember this, Itachi. Tobi is a good spy."

No wonder Deidara had said not to tell Luna. It occurred to Itachi that maybe he ought to have jut told her in the first place, but it was too late now.

Luna pointed her wand at Deidara.

"Ennervate."

Deidara's eyes opened. He didn't seem to realize he was bound to the chair, as he tried to get up and failed.

"What." He said grumpily, unaccustomed to being harassed in such a way.

"What indeed(e)." Luna nodded. "Surely you can supply us that…?"

Deidara glared at the pair of them. "You can't do this. I could tell the whole Akatsuki about you," he said, directing the last word at Luna. "Then you'd have to leave."

Luna shook her head. "Wrong. I can do this. You see, it doesn't matter anymore."

Itachi looked at her in surprise.

Luna continued. "I don't' care much for the Akatsuki without Itachi in it, except perhaps Tobi." Her permanently surprised eyes narrowed. "And if you tried anything I'd curse you. I know quite a few, you see. And Ginny helped me out quite a lot with my bat bogey hex, I'm nearly as good as her now, shall I try it…?" she raised her wand, and Deidara winced.

Luna lowered her wand. "I thought not," she said, smiling. "So I'll let you go, but you have been warned. I won't hesitate to wreck your pathetic life, worse than the past days."

Itachi was almost proud of her.

Deidara's face contorted with rage. "That…_you?_?"

"Me, Deidara," Luna said. "Who else could have been doing it? Unless you bought the story I had Tobi tell you, karma and such."

Deidara could have strangled her then and there, but he wasn't quite a match for either of the Akatsuki that stood before him.

Luna flicked her wand, and the bonds that attached Deidara to Itachi's chair vanished, just like that. Deidara sprang up and ran out of the room, just to get away from the two.

Itachi could have kissed her.

In fact, he did, but I won't get into the details. ;)

FlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouthFlamesofyouth

Ok. So I really liked the very end, the last two sentences, but in general, it was much less together than the last one.

It's shorter than the first part, but the chapter is longer than either of the last two. Sorry.

Part three is coming along, I have the basic plot in my head, but I'm only two pages in because I've been taking a break from the constant typing of this one. But I'm getting back into it. Wait for me!

I can't make you review. There's nothing can do if you just click your way back to wherever you came from, but think about it. By just clicking a button and typing a few words you can make someone out there very happy.

I hope to see you in part three


	4. the beforehand

Part three!!! I'm happy to tell you that this one came out as two chapters. It's shorter than part one again, but part one was the best. I like this better than part two, anyhow. I really do like this.

Some themes that I tried to imply in my writing were repetition to bring the plot to a full circle, and the graduation of changing emotions.

I'm sorry to say that the 'graduation of changing emotions' is definitely rocky. I am really bad at it. But I did my best, so you'll just have to deal with Itachi's weird mood swings.

Okay. Also, 'checker eyes' is a joke from a dub on youtube, the great checkers escape. Go look it up, it's hilarious. Not hard to find.

Yes, I referenced the long and winding road, again. It's in there.

Disclaimer? The usual. I don't own Itachi, I don't own Luna, I don't own Tobi, Deidara, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, the works… I also don't own the setting, Ottery St Catchpole, nor the hills round it. …noticing a pattern?

Okay, onward.

Cookiestudmuffin cookiestudmuffin Cookiestudmuffin cookiestudmuffin Cookiestudmuffin cookiestudmuffin Cookiestudmuffin cookiestudmuffin

Itachi was lost.

He had been circling the same hills and town for hours now, and had no idea where in the world he was.

Literally.

He wasn't sure he was even in Japan anymore, he was that lost. Nothing looked familiar, not one thing.

And so we come to the conclusion that Itachi was lost.

The hours melded together into a clump as Itachi found himself rounding the same small inn for the fifth time.

It was following him, he was positive.

But it was getting late. And even awesome evil murderer people like Itachi need sleep. So, eyeing it warily, he stepped into the broken down inn.

He rented a room, (he had money. He always has money. That just seems like the sort of thing Itachi would not run out of… somehow. Bet Kakuzu bugs the hell outta him.) and went to lie down.

Itachi hadn't slept well. The bed was lumpy and the pillows were scant, he had spent the night dreaming of his Akatsuki cave, Bob Segar poster and all.

And now he needed coffee.

So he wandered through the still unfamiliar town until he came across a small coffee shop, with ivy growing on the roof and a faded sign in the window advertising it's famous lemon scone.

Itachi decided he hated lemon scones.

A waitress came up to him, and offered him something to eat or drink. She was speaking in English, which Itachi probably doesn't know, but for the purpose of this fanficiton He does. He ordered a plain coffee, and nearly took her head off (literally) when she asked if he wanted a lemon scone.

Life sucks when you don't want to cause a riot.

He stared out the window as he waited for his beverage, hating every pebble in the road. He hated the tiling on the building across the street, he hated the stupid squirrel clambering up the thin tree out front of the café, he hated that guy with the plaid button-down shirt, he hated that guy wearing the obnoxious purple slacks, he hated that lady wearing the obvious wig, he hated that blonde girl coming into the café, and most of all he hated that he was stuck with them all.

He turned back to his table and was surprised to find his waitress setting his coffee (complete with a doily and a biscuit for presentation) onto the table. He didn't say anything, and ignored the waitress as she walked away.

He sipped at the coffee, forcing himself to hate the taste. (It was actually pretty good coffee, but Itachi wasn't in a 'lets appreciate this cup of coffee' mood.) He stared straight ahead, not really seeing anything.

And something caught his eye.

No, wait, false alarm. He was still staring- I kid I kid.

He turned his head ever so slightly, and glared at the earrings that had flashed in the morning sun so annoyingly.

The owner of the bizarre earrings turned her head.

And smiled.

And something in her dreamy gaze made Itachi want to kill her. She had no right so be so cheerful in this dreary town; there was nothing remotely cheerful here. Yet she smiled.

So he glared at her some more.

She just went back to her lemon scone.

That day, Itachi did several things, including kicking random trees or benches, swearing loudly at birds, and scaring little children.

Which was always fun.

But none of this was productive.

So he wandered round the hills. They stretched quite the way around. Not many houses, they were diluted widely over the hills. The houses that he did see were odd, the weirdest of many looking a little like a teapot.

That evening, he was finally able to find out where he was, and many a child's ears were covered as he discovered that he was all the way in Britain. Ottery St. Catchpole, to be more precise.

He had no way home. He couldn't walk over seas, no matter how fast he went. And he hated boats; he got motion sickness in vehicles. He was banned from riding planes because he'd once lost it and murdered the pilot. Which is why he never killed people unless he has a reason anymore. Unless he was going to kill all of them…

Anyway, the fact was, he was stuck. Lost.

So he trudged back to the dingy hotel, and took a really, really long shower.

Morning peeked through the thin curtains at Itachi. He woke up, got out of bed, and dragged a comb across his head.

And went out for coffee.

He felt like he was still asleep, kind of numb. Like he didn't really exist in this town. He went back to the same coffee place as last time, because it beat trying to find a better one.

He didn't even glare at the waitress, he was so wrapped up in the fact that he had no way home.

He didn't even notice the happy blonde seating herself in the table next his.

He didn't even care that she ordered another of the cursed lemon scones.

He kept staring straight ahead, not really seeing the poster advertising a bottle of wine he was looking towards.

"You seem out of it."

He looked up.

The blonde girl with the lemon scone was looking at him. He shot her a 'shut up if you value your life' look, and took a sip of the coffee the obnoxious waitress had just dropped off.

"You're not very friendly," the blonde girl said, picking up her half eaten scone.

Itachi didn't answer.

"Are you always grumpy, or just in the morning?"

Itachi picked up his coffee and walked out of the shop. He didn't need to listen to a nosy blonde picking at him.

He picked up a novel at the bookstore, and locked himself in his hotel room for the rest of the day.

Life became routine over the next week or so. Get up. Get coffee. Wander aimlessly around the city, possibly pick up something to eat for dinner, get sleep.

Day after day.

Hour after hour.

Minute after minute.

It just kept getting longer

Every morning, He would go sit at the same table in the same café- lemon scones and all. He never touched one, just ordered the same coffee every day. And every day he would be greeted by the same blonde girl, who had by now introduced herself as Luna Lovegood. The name left an odd taste on his tongue, like a tea steeped for too long.

She would ask him questions, some days.

How had he slept?

What was he going to do today?

Did he like lemon scones?

Sometimes he answered, but he never really got into a conversation.

Sometimes, when he didn't answer, she'd answer for him. She'd slept great, today she was going to the aquarium, and couldn't wait. And she loved lemon scones.

Once he had asked her a question. Just why she was so curious.

She had laughed absently, and answered that he was just so mysterious.

He didn't know how he felt about that.

So it was an overcast, gray and dull sort of Tuesday that Itachi found himself wandering past the hill's houses once again. They were all so different, and it was a way to pass the molasses called time.

He was becoming accustomed to the houses nearer to the village. They were scattered and few, one of them looking like a small farm, another a quaint little cottage with a neat garden that made Itachi feel out of place. There was also an orchard, and hedges that Itachi thought might cover one more house, but he had never seen it.

Today, he found himself walking away from those houses. He just kept walking through the hills. About an hour or two later, although it felt like much longer, he was far from the village. There were still houses, there was one very odd one with three chimneys, one that was painted grass green and blended in well with the surroundings, and then he was coming across the weirdest house he had ever seen.

Betcha saw this coming.

It was very tall, a tower of sorts, and it looked… almost like a chess rook. There was a brambly sort of garden, filled with plants Itachi did not recognize. Decidedly, he liked it much better than the neat, flowery garden in front of the cottage back near the village. He stared at it for a bit, then walked over for a better view.

There was one sign out front; "Pick your own mistletoe." (The other two are not visible to muggles)

This was the weirdest house he had seen so far, ever.

He stared up at it a bit longer, then began his way onward. He had walked about 10 yards when a voice called out from behind him;

"Hello!"

He turned around slowly, because he recognized the voice. It was about the only voice he'd heard over that past week or so.

Luna Lovegood was waving from over the gate, unlatching it and stepping out into the road Itachi was standing on. She was wearing something really unusual; they were diluted grass green robes, that fell around to her feet.

She walked up to him, and held out her hand to shake his, he stared at it for a minute, then took it uncertainly. It was warmer than his, and much smoother.

"What brings you here?" She asked him happily, staring up at him with her blue, ever-surprised eyes.

"Took a walk." He sniffed unceremoniously.

"It's rather stormy looking, though, are you sure you want to be out on such a day?" She replied, looking up at the sky dreamily, her eyes raking the blanket of dark clouds.

"I like these days." Itachi said.

"Oh," Luna said. "Well, I guess someone has to. The poor things would feel so unloved otherwise, don't you think?"

Itachi grunted noncommittally.

"Can I walk with you?" She asked, gesturing toward the (long and) winding road stretching out before them.

Itachi regarded her tentatively, but she was already heading down the road. So he followed.

After a minute or two of walking in silence over the hill, he gestured back towards where they'd come. "You live there?"

Luna nodded. "Oh, yes. My father and me, it's a really lovely home, although most people think it's a little out of place."

"Looks it." Itachi kept his eyes on the road ahead of them.

"I don't know, I think it fits the rolling hills perfectly. You never seem to know where they go either." Luna sighed, staring out over the grassy dunes that stretched before them.

"You are quite the character," Itachi shook his head, kicking at a pebble lining the road.

She laughed. "So are you, you know," she said. They walked in silence a bit longer, and this time it was she that broke it. "It occurs to one," she said, out of the blue, "That I don't think I know your name." She looked up at him.

He pondered refusing to tell her. Just to get on her nerves.

"Would you tell me?" she asked, her wide eyes searching his patterned. (checker eyes)

"Itachi." He said, kicking another pebble, sending it soaring into a tree that was growing innocently a hundred yards away.

She smiled at that. "Quite the kick." She kicked at a small stone herself, and it clambered a few feet before rolling to a stop.

Itachi smiled.

She was so ridiculous.

He walked up to the pebble she had moved so feebly, and kicked it so hard it flew over the next hill and out of sight. She shook her head, laughing.

"that's not fair, you're just showing off, now."

He couldn't keep himself from grinning a bit, and she brought her wrist within view, to glance at the odd watch she wore. (Lots of hands. Planets round the edges. The usual.)

"Oh, I'd better get back," she said, hiding her watch under the hanging sleeve of her light green robes. "It's nearly dinner. You could come, if you'd like, you know." She looked up at him.

"No," Itachi said. "That's okay."

"Then I guess I will see you tomorrow morning," she said, and skipped off in the direction of her bizarre abode.

The night dragged on. Itachi woke up several times, disappointed each time when he found he had woken once again at such a rude hour.

But finally the first rays of daylight shone through the raged curtains, and Itachi pulled himself out of bed. He left early; wandering round the town for a while before heading towards the little café he had made part of his routine.

She was there again, as ever. This time she had arrived before him, she did sometimes. He made to sit down at his usual window side table.

She motioned to him, to come sit with her.

He stopped.

He looked at her.

And he sat down at his usual window side table. He didn't need to sit with her. She was a nuisance. Wasn't she?

She took no notice of the rude refusal, but instead smiled. "Hello, Itachi."

"Hello." He said, without realizing that this was the first time he had returned her daily greeting.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Lousy."

"Mmm, when I can't sleep I like to read. It's such a nice way to wind down."

Itachi didn't answer, he picked up a newspaper someone who had been there earlier had left.

She let him read, watching him with her familiar lemon scone.

He managed to ignore her for the rest of his stay, but as he was leaving, she waved. "Bye, Itachi!"

"Bye." He muttered, as he pushed open the door and walked out into the cool morning air. (I was really tempted to write, 'only to find that the door said pull' after he pushed open the door. But I already had him bonking his head as he straightened up in the last bit… how much damage cant he poor guy take?)

The next morning, Luna offered him a seat at her own table as well. He ignored her again, sitting down and ordering a coffee. Once again, she acted as though she had not offered, and began to talk.

The morning after that, and the one after that as well, she offered a seat beside her still. Itachi continued to reject it, although he was beginning to wonder if he oughtn't just take the company. It wasn't as though he needed company, but he had read somewhere that lack of human company can make one go mad…

What was he thinking. He didn't need anyone, for sure. No one needed him either. That was his world, and he was happy with it.

But the next morning, she walked in five minutes after him. He watched her carefully as she walked vaguely over to the table beside his, where she usually sat, and became irritated as she pulled out the seat she had occupied so many days before this one.

He grabbed the back of the deep blue jacket she wore over her dark blue sundress before she could sit down. She looked over at him, questioningly. He gave her a small shove (not one that could knock Kisame onto the floor, just a gentle nudge.) toward the empty seat across from him, and she blinked at him before sitting down at the seat indicated to her.

Itachi made no sign to show he had been the least bit hospitable, and neither did Luna. He payed her very little reaction to her comments and questions, speaking occasionally to convey disinterest or answering the odd question with a few short words.

But it was more than he had ever done.

The next day, Luna had gotten there first. She was seated at Itachi's table, looking out the window in an absent fashion. Itachi sat down silently next to her. It was an unspoken agreement- nothing would be said. They simply sat together.

Let us take a moment to salute how truly odd it is that Itachi Uchiha be found sitting in a café in Ottery St. Catchpole with Luna Lovegood, not killing her. Okay, back to the story.

Time passed, as time often does when one waits long enough. Over the next few days, seating stayed the same. Across from one another by the window, Luna was weaving her way into his routine. He'd taken to watching her over his coffee in the morning, sometimes she noticed, but never said anything. One thing about her that Itachi had noticed was that she never made awkward comments, nothing that might make one uneasy. Which made her easy to be with.

The more he watched, the more he picked up small things about her that he had not noticed before. She rarely closed her eyes when she smiled, they were open so frequently. She didn't blink very often, either. So you could most always see the blue color of her eyes. Sometimes she didn't seem to be all the way there, she'd stare absentmindedly into space, as if listening closely to a song no one could hear.

And he no longer found her company annoying, he realized to his immense astonishment one long afternoon he was spending sitting on a park bench watching the people pass by.

"How long?"

"Oh, just a day or two," Luna said airily, waving her hand around liltingly. "It's not very far."

Itachi took a sip from his coffee. Maybe a day or two away from Luna would get his head back on his shoulders. Because she was visiting the mountains this weekend- a vacation with her father.

"Will you be here when I come back?" she asked lightly, breaking a corner off her scone.

Itachi watched the crumbs fall onto her napkin. "Might be."

The next morning, Itachi got up a lot later than he normally did. He walked leisurely through the town and stopped at the coffee place.

He looked through the window at the table he and Luna normally occupied, and it looked strange and deserted now, without the vague blonde sitting at the table, staring blankly into space.

It irritated him. She meant nothing but something to listen to. Wasn't that how it was?

But he didn't enter the coffee shop. He grabbed a to-go cup a few shops down instead.

The following day was the worst Itachi had had yet. He'd been splashed by a driver on the side of the road, laughed at by a small child when he tripped over a fallen tree branch, and become the birds' favorite target. As he wandered through the town, moving faster and angrier, thoughts kept occurring to him, like what was he doing. Why was he here? What had he done to deserve this???

…Oh, right.

It started to rain later in the afternoon, but Itachi refused to go indoors. He would be just as miserable wet than dry, and he didn't want to be defeated by the weather. So he continued his long walk, wandering aimlessly through the streets until he was certain he was lost. He was lost.

Itachi was lost.

That was just it.

He had found his way back eventually, but it had been late and he had been shivering with the cold. (He had tried his hardest to keep from it- shaking made him feel weak. But the body doesn't always obey orders like stop being uncomfortable.)

He had slept restlessly, and so it was with a sore head and temper that he made his way to the same coffee shop that morning. He didn't stop to look forlornly at the table so frequently occupied by a smiling companion, but say down stubbornly as he had the first few days, without company and without the need of it.

Or so he told himself.

He ordered his coffee, scowling at the waitress and leaving earlier than usual. He kicked at stones, aiming them at squirrels that scampered up trees at the sight of him. He glared at children, who ran to their mothers and hid behind skirts. He stomped on grass with a very clearly written 'keep off the grass' sign guarding it.

He locked himself in his hotel room and hated the whole town for being his prison.

Life sucks when you're a pessimist.

Light dawned on the third day, and something in the back of Itachi's mind was buggering him. Luna's coming back today, it was telling him.

But Itachi shoved the thing in the back of his mind to, well, the back of his mind. He didn't need some wench to bother him. His life sucked enough already.

Itachi didn't go to the café that morning. He got something from a vendor and sat on a lonesome park bench. Where he stayed the rest of the morning.

He avoided the café the day after that, too. Who needed a stupid café. Or the stupid girl that came with it.

In the late afternoon, Itachi was sitting in a bookstore, looking over different authors he'd been reading for something to keep his mind occupied.

He'd read all the books by Shannon McKenna, and he didn't like Francis James' style.

He was just reaching for a book called _December_, by Allen Harper, when something caught his eye.

It was the flash of an earring.

"Itachi!" She exclaimed, running toward him, dressed in a strawberry red skirt and a light green spaghetti strap.

He frowned at her. She stepped up to him. "How are you!" she asked excitedly. "I haven't seen you recently! You weren't at the café this morning."

Itachi ignored her heatedly, leafing through _December_. It seemed a good enough read… lots of metaphors.

Itachi liked metaphors. (…He just does, ok?)

"Itachi?" Luna said again.

He turned toward her slowly, snapping the book shut with one hand.

"Yes?"

She was still smiling, but it wasn't as happy a smile. "Are you alright?"

"I was." He returned _December_ to it's place, and picked up another book by the same author.

She didn't say anything for a minute.

"Is that a good book?" she asked suddenly, pointing to _December_.

"No." said Itachi decidedly.

"Are you sure you're okay…?" she asked, frowning now.

He turned and left the bookstore. He might as well have told her he never wanted to see her again.

Luna just stood there, watching him leave, no sign of her previous jubilation splashed on her shocked expression.

Itachi turned in for the night early.

He ought to feel great. That Loony Luna wouldn't bother him again, he was certain.

But he felt lousy.

Terrible.

Horrible.

No good, very bad.

Okay sorry.

Anyway, the point is, he didn't feel any sort of happiness at the pain he'd caused.

Which was very unusual. We're talking about Itachi.

He couldn't sleep, either. Again. And when he did sleep, he dreamt of large stone earrings, a deep black. There was no sun glinting off them.

Finally, morning did occur. Itachi slid out of bed, and dragged himself down the street.

He wasn't headed toward the small, ivy covered café of earlier, but he ended up there anyway. Looking in the window, he saw nobody.

Well, that wasn't entirely true; there was that bloke in the corner with the suit and tie, and the lady sitting in the booth with a magazine on health and beauty.

But it looked empty to him.

He entered anyway. Sat in his old table. Stared at the spot where Luna sometimes sat.

Why did it bother him so much that he was alone?

Why did it seem so final.

And he stared at the door to the café for he rest of the morning, jumping every time someone entered, every time the stupid chimes at the top tinkled.

The next morning was exactly the same.

And so was the next one.

And he couldn't hide from himself any longer. Because in a game of hide and seek such as this, someone wins sooner or later.

On the fourth day of seeing no one and nothing in the café but empty seat beside him, Itachi was forced to admit that the empty pit in the center of his stomach was something new.

Remorse. Guilt.

He didn't want to push Luna away.

He wanted her back, talking to him.

Like it seemed she always had been.

Looking at her empty seat hurt.

Looking into his empty heart hurt more.

Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's Mycomputerdiedsoimborrowingsasori's

Yup. I could have ended it a paragraph later, which plot wise is a better place to stop, but I couldn't because I like that as a stopping point. It's cute. Although, mood swingy… oh well. I think the very end turns it around the most in the way of moods…

Okay let me note that the authors I name and the books as well are things I made up on the spot because I didn't feel like searching my mind for the perfect Itachi book. Don't look for them, you'll be there all day.

For those of you who didn't get it, the orchard and hedges were covering the burrow. I went researching the setting in hp vol. 7 I'm proud of myself.

All right, stop feeling like I left you with a cliffhanger, the next chapter is a click away. When you're done, review, kay? Thanks!


	5. finding Itachi

Part two of part three! Chapter two of part three. Something. I don't know. It's the rest. :D

And yup, there are even more references to the great checker escape. Sorry. Anything that has to do with checkers…

No disclaimer because you got one a the beginning of this part and well it still stands pretty much. Well, you can go on and read it now.

Imanarmidili imanarmidili Imanarmidili imanarmidili imanarmidili Imanarmidili imanarmidili imanarmidili Imanarmidili imanarmidili imanarmidili Imanarmidili

The next day, he didn't go into the café. He stayed inside the run down inn the whole time. In one chair. He just sat there.

Loneliness wasn't new to Itachi. But here he was, locking himself up for it. And so he stayed for quite some time.

Itachi felt helpless. What was he supposed to do, where was he supposed to find something to help?

Itachi was lost.

But it seems to me that Itachi isn't the type to sit around and do nothing while all his lethargy did was hurt him. And so the plot progresses…

Itachi forced himself out of bed, having slept fitfully and even rolled onto the floor and waking in a tangle of pillow and sheets at one time.

He left early.

He walked straight to the dingy café of his mornings, and didn't sit down. He went up to the counter and ordered.

Two coffees to go. And one lemon scone.

Moving quickly as only Itachi can, (so the coffee wouldn't get cold.) he flew through the town. Through the hills. Quite a ways through the hills.

Until he found himself standing outside a brambly garden, with plants Itachi couldn't name. Leading up to a towering house-

That looked a bit like a rook.

Walking up to the door took more than Itachi thought he had. The zigzag path seemed to fill his feet with lead. It wasn't like killing someone armed with ten swords, or walking into a cave full of sleeping bears.

That was easy enough.

He raised a purple-nailed hand curled into a tight fist and rapped on the door.

A moment or two passed, the world seemed to hold its breath.

The door flew open. Luna stood in its wake, wearing sea green robes. And earrings that reflected the light of the sun. She stared in astonishment at Itachi, who held out the extra coffee and scone.

"Walk with me?"

"Yes," Luna answered him breathlessly, taking the coffee, which felt more like a peace offering. "Thank you, Itachi."

They walked for so long Luna had to sit down because her feet were sore. The coffee was long gone- the remains of the scone stowed in Luna's robes. (There weren't really any trashcans where they were.)

They chose to sit on the slope of a steep hill, covered in long grass that tickled when you sat down.

Luna lay down, staring at the sky. "Clouds are so wonderful, aren't they." She sighed, reaching up with one hand as though to grab one of the clouds and bring it down beside her.

"Magical." Itachi said quietly.

Luna laughed. "Nearly, I think."

Itachi said nothing.

So Luna kept going. "There are so many typed of magic," She said, stretching out leisurely as Itachi watched her. "Some much less obvious then others."

"Mmm." Itachi said, not quite sure what to say.

Luna fell silent, watching the clouds drift by. Itachi was not watching the clouds, however.

He was watching Luna. Her eyes. How very glad he was that she was there. It wasn't something Itachi was used to- gratitude of such a magnitude for the company of one soul.

"Sometimes I see shapes in the clouds, you know?" Luna spoke suddenly. "They change silently and quickly, but you can find them if you watch long enough."

"Know what that one there looks like?" Itachi murmured, pointing upwards.

"What does it look like to you?"

"A cloud."

Luna laughed. "Do you know what it looks like to me?" She asked.

"A cloud?"

Luna shook her head. "I think it looks kind of like a four leaved clover. Some people believe they're good luck."

"Do you believe they bring such luck?" Itachi asked, laying himself down next to her and trying to see the clover in the clouds.

"I believe people bring such luck upon themselves." Luna said, staring absently at the cloud, as though far away. "My mother believed the same, she taught me so."

"Your mother?"

"She passed away a nearly ten years ago." Luna said with a slight nod. "I do miss her sometimes, but it's okay."

"Ah." Itachi said, for lack of sensitivity.

"Did you even know someone who died?" Luna asked conversationally, watching the clouds as though they were all she'd ever known.

"Er, yes," Said Itachi. "Quite a few, in fact."

"Oh. I'm sorry," She said. She took his hand in a comforting sort of way.

"That-That's fine," Itachi said. "I, um, didn't like them much anyway." His thoughts seemed to round completely on her hand. He felt uncomfortable, but then again…

She didn't let go, and somehow Itachi couldn't move his hand away. It didn't seem to want to move. Or maybe it was him that didn't want it to move.

They just stayed like that a while. Nothing much was said, they just lay on the grass watching the clouds The only thing that seemed to shift was that it was no longer only Luna's grasp that kept their hands together.

Kisame was getting his butt whooped in ping-pong.

The strange thing about this was that the one who usually whooped his butt at ping-pong was Itachi.

Instead, it seemed to be Hidan. Which was quite an insult, as Hidan really sucked at ping-pong.

"Ha-ha!!" he crowed. "You missed that one too!"

Kisame threw down the paddle and stalked off. Where was Itachi? He had promised to play a tournament against Kisame today, he couldn't worm outta this one…

"Have you seen Itachi?" He asked Zetsu, who was playing checkers with himself. (Itachi's good set, too.) Well, he wasn't actually playing yet, he was still arguing over who got to be red.

Zetsu looked up. "Nope," He answered simultaneously.

"Jinx!!" Yelled the right half of him. "You owe me a soda!"

"Just don't do that," groaned the left half.

"Kisame, he's been missing for days," Said Konan, who was reading one of Deidara's magazines in a chair nearby.

"What?? No way!" Kisame yelped.

Konan rolled her eyes. "You seriously didn't notice your partner had disappeared?"

Kisame didn't answer. Instead, he said, "Then what're we gonna do?"

"We already did something, Kisame," Konan said exasperatedly, slapping down the magazine. "Yesterday we sent Deidara and Tobi to find him. Is your head full of chowder?"

"New England or Manhattan?" Kakuzu said, walking over.

"I like New England clam chowder," Konan said. "Manhattan chowder bothers me."

"What?" Kakuzu whined. "Manhattan chowder it the best!"

Kisame groaned.

"Hello, Itachi."

"Hello, Luna."

He made his way over to the table they shared. She had already ordered, and was sipping her coffee without looking at it. She was looking at him.

So he looked back. (Somehow I imagine Itachi would win a lot of staring contests, except maybe to Kisame. Fish don't blink.)

"How did you sleep?" She asked him, setting down her coffee.

"Very well, actually," He answered. "I haven't so well for some time."

She smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

"How did you sleep?"

Luna looked a bit surprised, but rather pleased. Itachi smirked inwardly. Don't ask how, I don't do psychology. Maybe it's like an ingrown hair, only it's an ingrown smirk… does everyone have an ingrown smirk? I think I do… anyway-

"I slept well," Luna replied. "I think that's the first time you've ever asked, you know?"

Itachi didn't say anything. He knew very well.

The waitress chose that moment to come wait on Itachi.

"What can I get you…?" She asked, although she didn't really need to as Itachi nearly always ordered the same thing.

"Same as always." He said, but she was still amazed that he hadn't glared at her this morning. She turned to leave, but he stopped her.

"And a lemon scone."

Another day or so passed, Which Itachi spent mainly with Luna. Not all of the time, of course, but more than he used to. He was starting to see the town differently, too, Luna had given him a short tour of where things were, and somehow, he didn't feel quite so lost.

He had been sleeping better, too, as he had told Luna. He was surprised to find that the curtains didn't seem so shabby these days, when the first rays of morning bled through them.

"Whats?"

"Dirigible plums."

Itachi shook his head. "What are dirigible plums?" He asked. He wondered why he had bothered asking about her reflective earrings.

"Um," Luna hesitated. "A branch off the radish family."

"Well, you can pretty much tell from their shape" Itachi said, rolling his (checker) eyes.

"I like the shape," Luna said, pulling a hand up to her ear where she flipped the small orange ornaments affectionately.

"The remind me of an old family crest," Itachi said after a minute. "Just a bit."

Luna didn't answer. She was looking somewhere behind Itachi.

"That's odd," she said. "They're wearing the same cloak. Same as yours, too."

Itachi froze. He whipped his head around so fast he might have broken it had it been normal person strength.

"We found him, we found him!!" A happy masked figure sang, in Japanese, I might add, tugging on his fellow Akatsuki's blonde hair.

Which earned him a smack in the back of the head.

"Deidara. Tobi." Itachi said, shocked. (He's speaking in Japanese as well.)

Luna smiled. "Hello," she said. In English.

Neither of the two newcomers even looked her way. Itachi glanced quickly toward her, but turned back a minute later.

"Itachi." Deidara nodded. "We've come to take you back, come on."

If you can't just guess, Deidara is also speaking Japanese.

Itachi just stood there.

"So soooon?" Tobi whined, tugging on Deidara's sleeve this time. "Let's stay, let's stay! I wanna try the lemon scone, I wanna see the park, the library, the antique shop!!"

Itachi twitched a bit. Tobi in an antique shop? That could be bad.

Deidara sighed. "Fine. Itachi, we're staying until the day after tomorrow. Sorry."

Itachi just nodded and sank back into his seat; he hadn't realized that he'd gotten up.

Deidara allowed himself to be dragged reluctantly out the door and down the street. Itachi watched them leave in astonishment.

Luna spoke.

"You're leaving?" apparently Luna understands a little Japanese.

Itachi looked back at her. "I guess so…" He murmured.

Itachi was feeling rather… conflicted. The one thing he'd really wanted ever since he got into this town was to get out of it. So why wasn't he jubilant? Why was he nearly as downcast as he had been when he'd first gotten here?

Because to get out of Ottery St Catchpole was not the only thing he'd wanted since he'd come to this town. He realized that somehow he hadn't thought through this quite enough. How was he expected to leave now?

Luna may well have been the only friend he'd ever had.

The only friend he'd ever had that he hadn't killed.

Was there a difference, then?

Why couldn't he just shove her aside like the rest of them? Why couldn't he leave happily and go back to his life?

But his thoughts turned to a few days back when he had tried. He wrinkled his nose. What was he gonna do.

Itachi was in one helluva fix. (Love saying that…)

Luna was watching him. He stood up abruptly, and grabbed her wrist. Leaving money on the table along with the rest of his coffee, Itachi pulled her outside and down the street.

"Where are we going?" she asked, as he whisked her away.

Itachi didn't answer. He wasn't sure yet, he just wanted to make sure she didn't leave. Not yet. He wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet.

Not even cookie goodbye. (There you go Dianna)

Eventually, they found themselves sitting on the park bench Itachi so often visited. Itachi was massaging his temples. Luna shifted closer to him, and put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Do you want to go?" She asked, looking at him in such a way that he felt helpless.

"I don't know," He sighed. "I don't know."

"Where are you going?" she murmured soothingly.

"Home." He said. "Japan." (And he proceeded to tell her where in Japan, but _I _don't know where in Japan he's headed.)

"When do you leave?" she asked, keeping her hand on his arm.

"I have today and tomorrow." He replied feebly.

"Then, if you have to go, do everything you want to do here before you go." Luna suggested. "Maybe then you won't regret leaving so much."

Itachi didn't move for a moment.

"What is it that you wanted to do?" she asked. "What keeps you form leaving?"

Itachi still didn't answer.

"Itachi?"

She looked up at him. He looked down at her.

He shook his head. And looked away. "I want to see the aquarium." He said. "The one you went to see, way back before…"

"You talked to me?"

Itachi nodded. "Would you go with me?" he asked. "I- don't know where it is."

Luna smiled and nodded. She got up off the bench. "Come," she said, and she offered him her hand. "We can go now. It's not far." Itachi smiled slightly and took her hand.

The rest of the day disappeared as quick as the fish flitted away when you knocked on the glass. Which Itachi did, although not as much as he might have if Luna hadn't been there.

But she was. And he was glad of it.

He slept fitfully. Not like he had been recently, but maybe better than he had at the very beginning of the trip. He showed up at the café early, just to be there.

That morning, after coffee, when Luna asked him what he wanted to do that day, he had answered that he wanted to see the hills one more time.

Luna had asked if she might accompany him, and he obliged. He was not wasting one moment. And so they found themselves, late afternoon, wandering still through the rolling hills and sweeping grass.

"These hills," Itachi sighed, as the stopped to rest under a tree. "There's something about them."

"I love them." Luna said. "Growing up here is as magical as anything I've experienced." Which, although Itachi doesn't know, is saying something.

Itachi looked up at the slowly lowering sun forlornly. "I wish I could just take the hills with me." He said quietly. He looked over at Luna, who was leaning against the tree next to him. Why did she make this whole experience worth it? Why did she have the power to turn a nightmare into a dream? And then back to a nightmare.

"I hope you had fun the last day or two," Luna said. "Did you do everything you wanted to?"

"Just about." Itachi said, watching her face.

"Are you leaving early tomorrow?" she asked. "Will I see you at coffee tomorrow?"

"I don't think so." Itachi said, feeling a little empty at the thought of leaving the little café behind. The café that he had once despised.

"Are you sure you did everything?" Luna asked. She looked up at him, her wide blue eyes washing over him.

And something in her dreamy gaze made Itachi want to kiss her.

"No," He said slowly, "I'm not so sure."

"What did you want to do?" She asked. "Is it something I can help with?" She was watching him wither her wide, unblinking eyes, and it made Itachi smile.

"Yes," He murmured. "You can help."

He brought his hand to her face, tilting her chin so she faced him. "Would you help me?" he asked softly.

She didn't answer, she seemed unable to say anything. And so Itachi kissed her.

Time had been flying by the past two days. Here it came to an abrupt halt. Everything stood still, except Itachi and Luna, and Itachi held Luna as close to him as he could.

When Itachi had finished, Luna's face was flushed with a shade of red that Itachi had never seen before. He smiled at her expression, and her face got, if possible a little redder. (Is redder a word? It sounds like a letter except one that you read… wait a minute you read all letters. Never mind. I'm breaking the mood.)

Luna looked down, then back up at Itachi's prematurely lined face. (Which is how they describe Lupin's face. I always thought it fit Itachi.) And her wide blue eyes were wet.

Itachi was shocked back to reality.

Luna held onto him, sobbing quietly as Itachi put his arm around her. It made her cry harder, but he didn't feel like letting her go would do anything better.

When Luna had dried her tears, she let go of Itachi and fell back upon the tree. "I'm sorry," she whispered shakily. "I shouldn't have."

Itachi shook his head. "Neither should I have," Itachi said. "But I did. So we're even."

They sat in silence for a while, and Itachi noticed it had gotten dark, somehow. But he didn't move. Sleep could wait.

Itachi woke slowly in the morning. At first, he wasn't sure what was going on. But Luna was curled under his arm, and he realized he was still under the tree of yesterday. They had fallen asleep together. He looked forlornly at her calm face, and slipped silently out from around her, laying her gently against the tree. She wasn't awake yet.

It was probably better like that.

He turned to go back to the hotel, gather his things and find Deidara, but it seemed Luna hadn't been as asleep as he had thought she was.

"Wait." She was telling him, Looking up at him as though he were ending the world. Which is what he felt like he was doing. "Wait."

He smiled wistfully at her face, framing it in his mind, to be kept forever. "Goodbye, Luna," He said, and then he was running as fast as he could (which is pretty darn fast) back to the hotel. If he stopped he'd turn back. And he could not spend the rest of his life here, as much as the thought appealed to him at the moment.

But even though he was miles away, he felt like he could still hear her crying.

"**Katsu**!"

Itachi woke from his daydream as a loud bang sounded about a half mile away from where Itachi was riding on Deidara's clay bird with Tobi. And Deidara, it goes without saying.

"What are you doing?" he hissed at Deidara, who was reclined laughing on the neck of his bird.

"Blowing up planes," He smirked, his ingrown smirk working as well. "Haven't had this much fun in ages."

"Oh, dear, Deidara, I would appreciate ever so much if you would cease your explosions, they are making quite a racket," Itachi said, although his wording was a bit stronger. (I stole this joke from another fanficiton. Sorry.)

"Gawd, Itachi," Deidara snapped, "you think you'd be a little happier we saved you from that hellhole, y'know?"

Itachi looked down. Waaaaaaay down. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay- you get the point. "I appreciate it." He muttered, because he didn't feel strong enough to punch Deidara's lights out. Heck, he didn't feel strong enough to punch Tobi's light out either. Usually he could do both at once.

And so the ride continued.

Itachi was greeted by only a few of the Akatsuki, which he didn't mind at all, some a little more enthusiastic than others. Kisame might have been the most enthusiastic, except Itachi avoided him because he had missed their ping-pong tournament that Kisame had insisted on and he wasn't worming out of this one. Easily.

But after the thirty seconds of attention from those who had noticed he had been gone, everyone went back to what they had been doing. Mostly reading Deidara's magazines. Which caused Deidara to have a bit of a hissy fit, as they had all been taken without his permission while he'd been retrieving Itachi.

So Itachi excused himself, and telling Tobi so no one would think he'd disappeared again, like they'd notice anyway, left the lounge.

Left the caves.

Took a walk.

He didn't feel like company. He'd have to feign a smile, act normal. So he walked through the forest, and after so many hours, found himself in a small town he knew inside and out. He'd been there so many times, when he was bored, when Kisame was bothering him, when Deidara was insisting he do something other than a ponytail with his hair.

Both of which happened often.

He wandered down the well worn paths that wove through the village, twisting this way and that but leading to the same place every time.

He was home. He knew things here. Where things were. It was where he belonged, he had always belonged here. Never anywhere else.

But Itachi was still lost.

After another hour of pointless wandering, running from himself and everything else in the twisted world he called home, he just stopped. He walked into a small Tea shop, one he'd been to so many times it was pointless to count. For those of you who are wondering, yes this is the tea shop we find him in back in the beginning of part one.

He sat down, didn't order anything, on one of the two couches that sat against the wall. He closed his eyes and tried to drown out the noises of the tea shop, the slight whistle of a teakettle, the murmur of voices, the screech of the occasional chair being pushed backwards.

Meditation never worked for Itachi. He opened his eyes grumpily, willing someone to knock over a cup of coffee.

Someone knocked over a cup of coffee.

Itachi smirked inwardly with his ingrown smirk.

But eventually he found himself staring straight ahead, not really seeing anything.

Then something caught his eye.

He turned his head, ever so slightly, to glare at the earrings that had glinted so annoyingly in the dull sunlight.

The owner of the bizarre earrings turned her head.

And smiled.

"Hello, Itachi."

And Luna was in his arms, miraculously, and nothing could have made him let go. (Not even checkers) somehow she was here, in Japan, and Itachi couldn't quite believe he wasn't imagining the whole thing.

They sat on the couch together for a while, nothing needed to be said just yet, no questions needed to be asked just yet. All that needed to be done was to keep Luna there, Her shoulders within the grasp of his arms, her smile within sight.

But after Itachi was sure she would not fade away, he had to know.

"How did you get here?" He asked softly, speaking into her long, dirty blonde hair.

She just smiled. "It was time to move anyway. I can't live with my father forever."

She hadn't answered his question. "Luna, how did you get here?"

"I have ways, I am faster than I look," She told him, but never directly answered the question. Because, well, she took a broom. She would have apparated, but she didn't know the location specifically enough to ensure a safe travel. She didn't fancy splinching herself.

Eventually Itachi gave up, and contented himself with running his hands through her hair. It was softer than it looked, he noted, and something inside him filled up and boiled over as Luna laid her head against his chest. He put his arms around her, and they just stayed like that until it was late and Luna needed to go to get some sleep.

Itachi escorted her to the hotel she was staying at for the time being, promising to see her tomorrow and be the one to show her around. They'd find her a place to stay, and if she didn't have enough money he could help.

He headed back to the Akatsuki caves at top speed, feeling better than he had for weeks. It was evident on his face, as much as he tried to hide it, as he strode into the Akatsuki lounge, nearly deserted except for Kisame, who was waiting to bombard him with a Ping-Pong tournament.

Itachi beat him with his eyes closed. Well, not really. But he did have one hand tied behind his back. Which really drove Kisame mad, and Itachi went to bed that night very late, feeling satisfied with himself and everything around him. This was home.

Itachi had been found.

Artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.artisabang.

There you go. That's the story of how they met, fell in love and everything. Somehow I feel like Itachi went to quickly from friendship to love, maybe I should have stretched that out a little more, but I didn't. So they fell in love very quickly. I never went over it, but you can just assume that Luna fell in love with him a little before he fell in love with her, because that's what happened.

Just so you know although I'm sure you don't care, I much prefer New England chowder to Manhattan. It's just … better. I think.

When Itachi said that he thought Luna's earrings looked a little like the Uchiha fan, I was going off an idea one of my friends told me about, I just thought it was funny that they looked similar to her.

Speaking of my friend, I was talking on the phone with her and at that point I wasn't quite sure how to work out one detail in the story, which is where exactly Itachi was dragging Luna. Dianna told me 'if worse comes to worst, use cookie.'

Because cookie makes everything sound cuter. (Evil. Cookie evil. Zombie. Cookie zombie. My point made.)

So 'cookie goodbye' was my way of joking to her. That's why it made no sense

If, for some bizarre reason, you are sad that this was to be the last of the trilogy, let me say that I may have been lying. I had so much fun writing that last bit that I don't want to stop. I have a vague idea of what to write next, but I have yet to form the plot around it. It may be a while, I'm sorry.

But if you were to review and egg me on, I might go faster. Review please please please please please please please please please please please please I want to know if this fanficiton that I had so much fun writing was worth it to read…

If you've reviewed before thank you so much I really do appreciate it, it's nice to know there are people out there who would read this (without me forcing them to read it like Dianna.) so keep reading and hang on you haven't seen the last of Luna and Itachi!!


	6. as told by Luna

Hello, friends! Unless you hate me, in which case, hello, numbskulls! Although I'm sure you could come up with a better insult than me, as long as it doesn't involve your face or your mom. Then I'll scoff at you. Ingrown smirk

Anyhow, I was rereading part three, and thinking that you have no idea what's going on in Luna's head the whole time. So I wrote what was going on in Luna's head the whole time. It was fun, although I'm looking forward to the freedom of speech that will come with part 5. (I stuck to the dialogue in part 3).

Well, I'll explain all the dumb inside jokes except one at the end. That one that I won' explain at the end I'll explain now, because it's like four paragraphs in. I can see it as I type this. It says 'the sun was up, the sky was blue and it was beautiful' which are tweaked lyrics from the Beatles' song dear prudence.

I don't own the Beatles. I don't' own Itachi. I don't own Luna. I don't own Tobi, Deidara, the burrow, Luna's bungalow, Ottery St Catchpole, but I guess I own the café and the tea shop and that park and that tree (you all know the one) …wow. Ok. Well I made them up. Who thinks I've ranted long enough? I'll let you get down to what you came for now.

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There was a loud crack, echoing slightly around the empty hills.

Luna Lovegood popped into sight, and wearing believable muggle clothing consisting of a long green skirt and a bright yellow blouse with her signature dirigible plum earrings, she began the walk to the town of Ottery St Catchpole.

Luna Lovegood is, as proved, an odd sort of witch. So it isn't so surprising that we follow her on her daily venture for breakfast down in the nearby muggle town.

The walk was fairly long, but Luna was used to it. She always felt insecure apparating any closer to the village, for fear someone might see her. She changed locations for her breakfast every month or so, coming back to places she liked every once and a while, and Today she was headed toward a charming little place, with Ivy covering the roof that made the best Scones Luna had ever tasted.

Please tell me you can see where this is headed.

The sun was up, the sky was blue, and it was beautiful. (Least there's no long and winding road) People in the streets would wave back when Luna smiled at them; she loved how friendly the town was in the morning.

And there it was, the homely café that Luna had been visiting for a little less than a week. She walked into the café, (passing a guy with a plaid button down shirt) and took a seat close to the window. Although the seat right next to the window was taken. She ordered her favorite coffee and Lemon scone, and sat humming quietly to herself until it came. She reached for the lemon scone, and noticed the man next to her.

He turned his head ever so slightly.

She smiled at him, because he looked like he needed a smile. (Doesn't he.)

He glared at her, so she went back to her scone. He must be having a bad day, she decided, and sometimes it is best to let a sleeping dog lie. If that's the right expression. Somehow I don't feel like it is. Oh well.

Luna's day was great. She spent it wandering around the muggle town, she loved how everything was different. She liked the muggle playground at the park the best, she spent an hour or two with children much smaller than her who giggled in a friendly way as she rode the merry-go-round.

The morning after, Luna could be found skipping breezily through the early streets of town, dressed in a pastel sundress and wearing a pale green jacket over top. She was once again headed for the Ivy-covered café of yesterday.

She seated herself at the same table as well, and ordered a coffee she hadn't tried before with a lemon scone.

She sat thinking about the fascinating pattern the ceiling rafts made when her scone and coffee came. She was about to take a bite when she noticed the man who was once again seated next to her.

He was staring blankly ahead, seemingly at the wine poster over on the wall. But he wasn't looking anywhere, and his frown showed discontentment.

"You seem out of it," She told him, smiling, placing her scone back on its doily.

He looked up. He glared at her. And he looked down, took a sip of his coffee.

"You're not very friendly," Luna told him, picking up her scone again. "Are you always this grumpy, or just in the morning?"

He got up with his coffee and walked out of the shop. Luna shook her head. Maybe she'd talk to him again, see if she could get him to respond. In a positive way.

And so, she went back to the same café the next day and the next, and without fail she would see the cloaked man sitting disgruntled in the table next to hers.

She asked him questions, and he ignored her. The strange thing was, each time he didn't answer one of her questions, or respond to a comment, she wanted more and more to see that reaction or hear that answer. And so she persisted.

"Hello," She greeted him on the third day. "How are you today?"

He didn't answer.

"I realized last night," she continued. "That I haven't introduced myself."

He made no motion to show that she had even entered the building.

"My name is Luna Lovegood," she told him. "I live in the hills nearby."

He looked over at her, one eyebrow raised.

That was a reaction.

"Luna Lovegood?" He repeated, no emotion detectable in his voice besides slight irritation. "Why the hell are you so curious?"

She laughed, she was so glad that he had finally reacted to something. "You're just so mysterious," she answered. He shook his head and went back to his coffee.

But he didn't leave.

The next day, when she asked him how he was, he muttered "Fine." In the sort of way one does when they aren't fine at all, but she didn't probe. At least he had answered.

He didn't answer again that day, but the next day he answered one more. How had he slept? Horribly was his answer, and that's all he said. But it was still something. And Luna was pleased.

To keep the conversation up, she told him about what she was doing, what she liked and disliked, the answers to her own questions. She told him about the yellow pansies in her backyard that no one had planted, and about how she was going to the aquarium and simply couldn't wait. She'd never been, as capturing fish to be displayed is a muggle activity, and most wizards don't even know what an aquarium is.

As Monday rolled past, Tuesday rounded the bend. Late afternoon found Luna up in her bedroom, playing wizard's chess against the chessboard, which had been bewitched to play for itself.

She glanced out to the overcast path that ran by the front gate, and was startled to see none other than the strange man from breakfast every morning standing at the front gate, looking out over the strange plants in the front garden.

Without thinking, Luna got up and jumped to the spiraling staircase.

"Wait! Okay, I cheated, Come back!!!" Yelled the chessboard after her, but she was already on the floor below.

"Luna, where are you-"

"Be back soon!" she assured her father, skipping steps down the stairs past the sitting room where her father sat by the printing press.

She threw open the door, and ran to the gate. Her quarry had already passed the house and was on his way. "Hello!" she called after him, happy when he turned around. She unlatched the gate and went to say hello.

She held out her hand, and with it noticed she was still wearing Wizarding robes. Oops. But it was too late to change.

She was startled to see that her gesture had been accepted. His hand was slightly rough, and cold from being outside on such a day.

She smiled. "What brings you here?" she asked, because it wasn't very common that someone form (that one was on purpose) the village passed her father's house.

"Took a walk."

Well, he was talking to her. And it was better than playing chess with a cheating chessboard.

"It's rather stormy looking, though," Luna commented, looking up at the sky, it's sheer width taking her by surprise like it always did. "Are you sure you want to be out on such a day?"

"I like these days." Was the reply given to her.

"Oh," Luna said, she felt a little ashamed. "Well," she sighed, "Someone has to. The poor things would feel so unloved otherwise, don't you think?"

"Hm."

She looked out at the road in front of them. "Can I walk with you?" she asked, indicating the winding path that led through the hills with a little sweep of her arm.

Without waiting for an answer, because she didn't want it to be no, she began her lilting walk down the path. And he followed her.

Luna led him on in silence for a while, and was pleasantly surprised when she was not the one to break the silence.

"You live there?" Her cloaked companion asked, nodding slightly in the direction where they had come.

Luna nodded happily. "Oh, yes," she assured him. "My father and me, it's a really lovely home, although most people think it's a little out of place." She looked up at him.

He avoided her gaze. "Looks it," he muttered.

Luna looked out over the hills where his eyes led. "I don't know," she sighed with the breeze. "I think it fits the rolling hills perfectly. You never seem to know where they go either."

"You are quite the character." He shook his head, and kicked at a small rock that lined the path they tread.

Luna laughed. "So are you, you know," she informed him, and the conversation died out. They walked in silence, and Luna felt surprisingly comfortable beside the irritable stranger. He didn't feel like a stranger. But…

"It occurs to me," Luna said suddenly, "That I don't think I know your name." She looked over at him, and he kept his eyes on the road, saying nothing.

"Would you tell me?" she asked, his head turned toward hers. He looked at her a minute, then answered

"Itachi."

He turned his head back to the road and aimed a kick at another stone. To Luna's surprise, it flew all the way to a tree that had to be at least a hundred yards away. It made her smile.

"Quite the kick," she told him, and kicked a pebble herself. It rolled feebly to a stop at two or three feet away.

She looked up at him, still smiling.

And that smile widened, because Itachi was smiling as well. It wasn't a large smile, but it seemed to make him a different person from the tetchy, downhearted man Luna had become used to in the last few days.

He walked in front of her to the stone she had struck, and rammed it so hard it flew out of Luna's line of sight. Luna's smile turned to laughter. "That's not fair," she told him. "You're just showing off, now."

And she watched as you could see him working not to smile. But he smiled. And so did Luna.

"Oh," Luna said suddenly, having seen her watch, "I'd better get back." She let her wrist fall, her witches' watch falling under the sleeve of her robe. "It's nearly dinner." She paused a moment. "You could come, it you'd like, you know." She glanced back up at him.

"No," Itachi told her, "that's okay."

"Then I guess I will see you tomorrow morning," Luna said, not sure whether she was disappointed. And she skipped on her merry way home.

Luna slept snugly, having finally won her chess game after dinner and several accusations of cheating of which only two were correct. Maybe the next time she wanted a self-playing game board she would enchant it herself.

She waltzed happily through the streets, dressed in long plaid leggings and a bright red pleated skirt that went a little above her knees, her thin looking long sleeved shirt navy blue.

She got there before Itachi that morning, She liked leaving early, because it was always so beautiful in the early hours, and that's when you might catch a glimpse of the hump-backed snashmunk, which liked to feed on morning dew. She had yet to see one, but once she had been sure there was a snashmunk in the flowers behind her towering house. (And why else would the dew disappear in the later morning? The snashmunks eat it.)

But before long there he was, walking into the café, heading straight for the table next to the window he always occupied.

Before he reached it, however, Luna caught his eye and motioned that maybe he come sit over by her. Morning coffee is much more fun to share with someone, she knew, because there was the rare occasion when she had invited Ginny to come with her. (She didn't very often because Ginny didn't really like Ottery St Catchpole, and didn't go down into the town very often if she could help it.)

Her invitation was refused, however, and Itachi seated himself by the table next to hers, by the window, like always. It did not bother Luna terribly, because she had thought he might refuse. It wasn't like she could transform him into her friend over night.

So she smiled. "Hello, Itachi," she said to him.

"Hello." Itachi replied, and Luna was taken by slight surprise, as this was the first time he had returned her daily greeting.

"Did you sleep well?" she continued, wondering if he might answer this one too.

"Lousy."

"Mmm," Luna said, "When I can't sleep, I like to read. It's such a nice was to wind down." She smiled inwardly, because her inward smirk was replaced by an inward smile at an early age. …Didn't know that could happen, and I'm the author. Authoress. Fine.

Itachi pulled a newspaper up, and Luna let him read. She watched him, though. He didn't look her way once, although sometimes she wasn't sure if he was really reading.

He got up to leave, and Luna waved. "Bye, Itachi!" she called to him.

"Bye." He muttered, and pushed the door open (yes, the 'pull' door ) and left.

The day rolled by, and because it doesn't really matter what happened that day, it was morning again. Yay for skipping hours at a time!!!

Over the next few days, Luna continued to offer him a seat by her every morning. He continued to refuse, and Luna didn't let it bother her. It was just the way he rolled. (Man, I need a way to roll.)

Luna skipped down the long (and winding) road (I know it's getting old. But I decided that since part 4 didn't have a long and winding insert I had to, for tradition's sake) towards the Ivy-covered roof and what lay beneath it, wearing a deep blue jacket over a dark blue sundress.

The first thing Luna noticed, as she entered the café, was that she was not the first one there. Itachi was sitting where he always sat, watching her carefully as she glided to her usual table, and pulled back her seat.

Just as Luna was about to sit down, she felt a slight tug on the back of her jacket, and she stopped. She turned to see what it could be, and found herself propelled gently towards the seat across from the place Itachi sat. She turned towards him, and his hand was retreating back below the table. She blinked in surprise, but accepted the turn of events without question. Something about the way he didn't look at her as she sat down was so funny. She did not say anything about it, she knew she would embarrass him and that would be the end of any bond that had been built. So she just sat, happy that he might be warming towards her.

Heh. Just you wait, Luna.

Luna got up early. Even for her, that it. It was just barely light, but everything seemed to very fresh. She went out into the garden, dressed in a light, springy sort of green skirt with a daisy pattern on the hem that fell around her ankles, and a rosy sort of flower patterned blouse.

She wandered for fifteen minutes in the front garden, and she was positive she had seen the long, pointed fingers of a malice gnome sticking out from behind a speckled toadstool that had been growing in the garden for three years. (It was now roughly the size of a large dog) (Tobi would have a field day)

But eventually she just left early. Note on the wall for her father, she disapparated and reappeared on the deserted hill she visited every morning, and set off on her morning journey to the familiar little café we all should know by now. And you know what, if you don't know the café, then you really, really need to go back and reread this. Like now. Seriously, what's wrong with you???

Anyhoo…

Luna skipped toward the window, and past the table she had become accustomed to. She would take a chance, sit at the table she had been invited to the day before. If Itachi did not wish to sit with her, he would sit elsewhere.

But when he entered the café, Luna already with her coffee and scone, he sat down beside her, (or more accurately across from her but beside her sounds cuter) without the slightest inclination that she might leave. She might have not even been there, but he answered when she greeted him the same as she had done the mornings before.

Over the next few days, time seemed to fly, Luna spent several happy afternoons experimenting with the swings at the muggle parks, often swinging for an hour or more at a time, because she loved the way the wind rushed past her ears. It was like flying, except you didn't have to go anywhere. And you were supported by nothing but leather and rope. (Or chain and plastics, if you wanna go high tech.)

But the parts of her day she looked forward to the most were he mornings when she would sit with Itachi, Whether or not he talked to her much. Once and a while she would look up and catch him staring at her. Not in a creepy way, it was like he was analyzing her. She never mentioned it, though.

Luna sang to herself as she skipped through the hills, towards her house. She could have apparated, true, but she didn't want to. It was beautiful out, and she didn't want to take such a day in vain. So she sang on her way.

"Luna, dear!" Xenophilius Lovegood was waiting for her his daughter as she stepped through the doorframe. "I have great news, you'll see!"

"Oooh!" Luna exclaimed, "Have you finally contacted Bilius Barnaculus?" (Who, fyi, was a potential informer to the whereabouts of a blibbering humdinger.)

"No, but guess what?" Xenophilius grinned at Luna. "Tomorrow we take our leave and relax up in a mountain getaway!"

"I can't wait!" Luna hugged her father. "Thank you, this will be so much fun!" She ran up toward the spiral staircase, and wound her was up to her room.

"We'll be staying two nights," called Xenophilius as she slipped out of sight, "So pack enough socks!"

"Okay!" Luna called back, having already magicked her trunk open and the right amount of socks packed away. (I hate packing and unpacking. Bet magic makes it so much easier.)

Against her better judgment, she also packed her self-playing chessboard. Maybe she could make it shut up and let her play with her father.

Luna skipped into town like every morning, except she was so excited. She was leaving a little before noon with her father, but she somehow felt obligated (love that word) to tell Itachi why she wouldn't bet here. So one more coffee it was before she departed for the mountains.

"Hello, Itachi!" She said, as she sat down across from him. He already had his coffee. "How are you today?"

"Fine." Itachi said, his hand rested on the side of his coffee mug.

"Today," Luna began happily after ordering her coffee and scone, "I'm leaving on a vacation. The mountains. I think it will be fun."

Itachi showed little emotion, he simply scrutinized her over his coffee.

"How long?" he asked finally.

"Oh, just a day or two," Luna told him, waving her hand a bit.

Itachi brought his coffee up to his mouth and took a sip. (I didn't like the use of the word 'mouth' there, so I was looking for a synonym, but I didn't really like oral cavity either. ) He seemed to be thinking, but Luna found she could rarely read his expressions. And Luna always was good at reading expressions.

"Will you be here when I come back?" Luna asked him nonchalantly, breaking a piece of her scone off.

Itachi seemed to watched her scone crumble. "Might be." Was the only reply she got.

I wish I had some pie. Yeah. Cherry pie… but not too sweet. Possibly pecan pie. I love pecan pie. Maybe just some ice cream. Okay, sorry. Back to the story.

Luna's weekend flew by in a blink. Half the time she was laughing, although she never did get the chessboard to shut up. More than once she had to practice her silencing charm on it just to sleep, and as she was only there two nights…

She and her father went hiking, and had found a small lake which they swam in after cleaning it a bit with their wands. The water wasn't too cold, as they also took the liberty of thawing it a bit.

The only bit that seemed less than brilliant were the mornings, when she would take a cup of coffee or hot cocoa (one each morning) and sit out on the second story deck watching the birds swoop over the trees and twitter merrily to one another. She kept wishing that Itachi was there, or even that she was back at the café with him, despite the cool, clear air and the wonderful view. Even though it had only been a little less than two weeks, she had become accustomed to seeing Itachi every morning. But he wasn't there, so she would remind herself that in a day or two she would have him back, and watch the early morning sky for the outlines of the songbirds that flew here.

But the day came that the two packed their belongings and disapparated back to Ottery St Catchpole, and were home. Luna went to bed early that night, waiting restfully for the morning.

And morning came. Skipping through the nearly deserted streets a little earlier than usual, dressed in a pastel paisley sundress with a skirt that reached a little above her ankles. And the café was in sight, Itachi not there yet. She had expected that, he wasn't usually very early, and often came after her. So she settled down and ordered her favorite coffee and a lemon scone, anticipating when Itachi might walk through the doors.

The morning dragged by. It was now very late morning, and neither she nor Itachi had ever stayed so long. Luna reluctantly got up. She could not wait here any longer.

Turning her head away from the seat that Itachi had not occupied this morning, she shook herself. Something had come up. She would see him tomorrow. You could not hold people to things like this, and he had not promised he would be there.

She found herself walking by the park, and headed towards the muggle playground to the empty swings. She swung herself slowly back and forth on the balls of her feet, watching the clouds and humming a song she had heard on the radio that morning.

The next morning, Luna felt refreshed. She would surely see Itachi today, although he had not come yesterday. To lose faith in someone is not something Luna did so simply.

But to her discontent, He did not show up. So, as late as it had been the day before, she waltzed out the door, and down the street.

It felt like forever since he had seen Itachi, and she wondered whether he would come tomorrow. Surely he would. Surely she could not write him off so quickly; she just needed to be patient. Surely.

She had no plans for the rest of the day, so she decided to take a closer look at the muggle shops and amusement centers. Luna wandered around, the city feeling quite endless, until she would come across something that looked interesting to her. Like the antique shop they had, it was so wonderful, although on the whole it looked rather delicate. She almost bought a glass ornament, it was a birds' next on the branch of a tree with two eggs inside, painted pale blue. But she realized she didn't have any more muggle money with her, so she left without it.

Late afternoon found her in front of a bookstore on the outskirts of town, which she entered. She always had liked bookstores. Books in general, actually. But the library at Hogwarts came with Madame Pince, who wasn't quite as charming as the books she guarded.

Either way, she found herself wandering down the shelves, looking at all the different books muggles read. She looked up to see what was over to her left, and saw-

"Itachi!" she dropped the book she had been holding (well, she put it back, but that doesn't sound as cool) and scurried towards him. "How are you!" she asked him happily, having not noticed the frown he aimed towards her. "I haven't seen you recently, you weren't at the café this morning." She explained. Although he already knew, telling him was more to excuse her excitement to see him.

Itachi didn't do anything. He seemed, possibly, even more determined to pay his book attention.

"Itachi?" Luna said again, doubt beginning to seep into her mind.

He turned toward her slowly, staring down at her, (Only slightly, they are nearly the same height. Nearly.) his book closing suddenly.

"Yes?"

She could feel her smile faltering, but kept it in place. "Are you alright?" she asked tentatively.

He went back to reading, and muttered, "I was."

Luna didn't say anything for a minute, she didn't know… what did he mean. Should she go away? She tried, but she couldn't move her feet. So she spoke up again. One more try.

"Is…is that a good book?" she asked, gesturing towards the book Itachi had been holding.

"No."

Luna looked down, then back up at him. "Are you sure you're okay…?" she asked him, because if something had happened, she would prefer to be let in then shoved out.

Itachi gave her a cold glance, then turned and swept out of the bookshop, and Luna could tell that there was more to it than just walking out. It was saying that he no longer wanted her anywhere near him, and she was back where she had started.

True, he had acted this way before, but… it hurt a little more now.

Who was she kidding. It hurt a lot more now.

She had not realized she had become so attached to him. Had she? Of course not… but… here she was, staring at the spot he had disappeared, feeling strangely empty.

But she had to move. She couldn't stand there all day. So she put one foot in front of the other, and found her way to the door, through the streets, and- stopped. Outside the park. There it was, the muggle playground that she had spent time on so many days before. So she wandered over, and in the dimming light, rocked back and forth on the swing until it really was time to head home.

Back at home, her father had prepared dinner, (it was his turn.) But Luna ate in silence. She did answer her father occasional question, but he was a bit distracted because he was expecting a call (well, really it was someone due in the fireplace, but still.) and kept looking over in the fire every time a log crackled.

That night, Luna turned in early again, but less to get up that morning, and more because she didn't know whether she wanted to stay up.

Morning came earlier than it usually did, so it seemed. Luna was already up, sitting out on the garden gate, and wondering what to do. She didn't really want to go back to the café she'd chosen for this month, and face the empty seat in front of her, so she shook her head and disapparated.

She apparated back in the spot she apparated to every morning, the deserted hills echoing her crack as she appeared. But she didn't go towards the town. She went towards the burrow, where she had been assured she was always welcome, because she felt like a little company would do her well.

She was received warmly, although she told none of them why she was a bit down. She didn't think they would understand any better than she herself did.

JAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSSJAWSS

That's chapter one. It's a little longer than chapter one for part three, and it stops a little later, but that's because this one ended up being a little longer than the other one because I wanted new material in there instead of repeating exactly what had happened.

Some of those jokes that you probably didn't understand- I wrote 'form' instead of from and then in parenthesis 'that one was on purpose.' Well, I've misspelled from as form a lot in this fanficiton. Most of them were caught by Dianna, but still. So we have a running joke about that.

Another pair of parenthesis you might have seen had 'man, I need a way to roll' in it. Well, that's an inside joke from dear dumb diary, the third I think. But my books are on lend so I can't check. Who has them again…?

The last one wasn't really a joke at all. I just wanted some pie, and felt the urge to mention it. So there.

Weeeeeeell yeah. That's chapter one of part four. Go read chapter two now, although you all should know how this ends. If you don't, go read part three and come back.


	7. As finished by Luna

Aaaalright here you are! My quick disclaimer- I don't frickin own anything. Cept the plot. And the pairing is only half mine, Dianna and me camed up with it. Don't tell me that am bad grammar, because I know.

I decided I'll explain all the nonsensical stuff at the end because you probably hate all this rambling in front- here goes!!!!!!!

RANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINYRANDOMSHINY

That was the only morning she went to the burrow, but she found a new café. She went there instead, although she didn't like it as much. It was shinier, newer, and didn't have the charming touch the old one had. And they did not have lemon scones.

But she returned there the day after as well, because it was better than nothing.

She left early, and walked the whole way back home. (Yes, the walk that takes hours.) She had nothing better to do.

But the morning after, she just stayed home. Made herself a mug of hot cocoa, played a game or two of chess. She beat the game ridiculously easily, and it complained ridiculously loudly that she had cheated. She cast a charm over it without it's knowledge, and the next time it spoke, all it's chess pieces dissolved. It complained loudly that that was cheating.

Why does time stretch so when we want it to pass us by? It's like something we cannot get rid of, and Luna was wishing she could. She was lying awake in bed, eleven o clock. She had finally shut up the chess board, who was still complaining (silently) even now that she had behaved unfairly and to 'put my pieces right this instant'.

But she fell asleep.

And she woke up.

She dragged her feet out of bed, the rest of her following. She stretched, looked out the window at the clear blue sky, and proceeded to dress herself. She wasn't planning on eating down in Ottery St Catchpole, so it was wizards' robes she wore.

She wound her way downstairs to the sitting room, the second story. And she lit the fireplace, and say down beside it, watching the flames absentmindedly. She loved the way they danced, it was like a ballet which could only be seen if you looked very hard.

There was a knock at the door.

Which was really very odd, as her father always apparated right into the house and was out right now anyhow, and as you might presume, the Lovegoods rarely had visitors.

Luna got up, and snuffed the fire with her wand before she got to the stairs.

She opened the door quickly, and stood still.

It wasn't possible.

But Luna's eyes had never been wrong before now. (If you're laughing at all the times she's positive she saw the tip of a blibbering humdinger's snout or a crumple horned snorkack's horn then you get the joke.)

Because Itachi stood just outside the door, in his distinctive black cloak, holding out a coffee and a scone to her. A lemon scone.

"Walk with me?" he asked, and Luna felt like laughing, she was so relieved. But she felt that would be rude, so she smiled.

"Yes," she told him, feeling a little winded although she didn't know why, "thank you, Itachi." She accepted the coffee and scone gratefully, and they walked down the path that wound through the hills, more inviting than it had been for so long.

They walked and they walked, conversations popping up and down, often they just walked in silence, Itachi lost in thought, Luna simply enjoying his company. There was something about the large cloaked figure that wasn't as fearsome as it had once seemed, but somehow softer. Like it couldn't hurt you. Which of course is misjudgment on Luna's part, maybe you've forgotten, but this is Itachi we're talking about.

But as Luna's feet began to sore, she asked that they stop. Their coffees were gone, and the scone had been finished long ago. Luna had vanished their remnants into nonbeing, (that is to say, everything. Nicely worded! Ok sorry I've been rereading the 7th – it's the question McGonagall has to answer to get into the Ravenclaw common room) although she had passed it off as stowing them in her robes so as to not freak out Itachi and break the whole statue of secrecy thing.

Luna sat down on a steep hill, lying against it and staring up at the sky, stretching forever out on the horizon. There were clouds today, but only a few- the white fluffy ones that look like everything and nothing at once. "Clouds are so wonderful, aren't they," she sighed, reaching towards them with one hand, they always seemed so close. But they weren't. They were always one step ahead, just out of reach.

"Magical." Itachi said quietly.

Luna had to laugh. They had always seemed so to her, but not in the way she had learned magic to be. "Nearly, I think," she told him. Itachi didn't reply, so she persisted. "There are so many types of magic," She said, stretching her arms above her head, vaguely aware that Itachi was watching her. "Some much less obvious than others."

"Mmm." Itachi said in response, and Luna was pleased that he would bother to show that he was listening.

Luna said nothing else, and watched the clouds, letting the glory of the late morning swallow her up as the clouds drifted lazily in a way that made everything seem alive. But at the same time as she was aware of everything, there was one thing that seemed to stand out a bit. Itachi. He was watching her, but not in the scrutinizing way she had become used to. His eyes weren't as piercing, they were just watching her. And she couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious.

"Sometimes I see shapes in the clouds, you know?" Luna said suddenly, just because the silence was a little unnerving. "They change silently and quickly, but you can find them if you watch long enough,"

Itachi looked up, paused a moment, and pointed. "Know what that one there looks like?" he murmured.

"What does it look like to you?" Luna asked, looking up where he was pointing to find the one he spoke of.

"A cloud."

Luna smiled, and laughed. She looked up in the clouds, and found the one he was talking about. "Do you know what it looks like to me?" she asked.

"A cloud?" He asked.

Luna smiled again, but shook her head. "I think it looks kind of like a four leaved clover. Some people believe they're good luck." Most wizards didn't, but it was a well-known muggle superstition.

Itachi lay down beside her, and Luna thought he looked as relaxed as she had ever seen him. "Do you believe in such luck?" he asked.

"I believe that people bring such luck upon themselves," Luna told him. "My mother believes the same, she taught me so." Luna was not in the habit of speaking about her mother in the past tense. She was not uncomfortable with it, but it felt more respectful.

"Your mother?"

"She passed away nearly ten years ago," Luna told him, "I do miss her sometimes, but it's okay."

"Ah." Itachi seemed unsure of what to say. It happened often, when Luna spoke of her mother's death. People didn't know how to respond. (Of course, Itachi just doesn't care.)

"Did you ever know someone who died?" Luna asked, to keep the conversation. She liked talking to him.

"Er, yes," Itachi said. "Quite a few, in fact."

"Oh," Luna said. "I'm sorry." She took his hand in hers, a comforting gesture.

"That-that's fine." Itachi muttered. "I, um, didn't like them much anyway."

The conversation died, but Luna and Itachi were still there, just watching the clouds on their backs, hand in hand.

May I take a moment to comment on how truly out of the ordinary that is? Possibly even more bizarre than Itachi sitting in a café with Luna, him in the hills holding hands with Luna. Woooooow. Okay sorry back to the story.

It was odd. Spending time with Itachi had been wonderful, and Luna didn't know quite how to put it. So she spent the afternoon lying on her bed, ignoring the pestering chessboard, and contemplating why she had become so attached to someone who had been a stranger a few weeks ago and was rarely friendly.

But she was attached. Surely the past few days had taught her that. She liked spending time with him. She liked talking with him, and having coffee with him in the mornings.

She allowed her mind to wander to the morning, lying in the grass with him. It had been pleasant.

So had been holding his hand.

She didn't know what to do just yet.

"Hello, Itachi."

"Hello, Luna."

She smiled as Itachi walked over to the table they shared and sat down. She already had her lemon scone and coffee, and watched him as he sat down.

He caught her gaze. Her heart skipped a beat.

"How did you sleep?" she asked hurriedly, looking down.

"Very well, actually," He answered her. "I haven't so well for some time."

Luna smiled. "I'm glad to hear that," she told him.

"How did you sleep?"

Luna blinked. That was the first time he had ever asked about her or her welfare. She was happy.

"I slept well," she told him, smiling "I think that's the first time you've ever asked, you know?"

Itachi didn't answer.

But she was surprised to see that his coffee that day came with a lemon scone.

That day, and the next, Luna saw more of Itachi than she had been seeing. Besides having breakfast together, they had taken another walk together and stopped at the park one morning, and the next day they had just stayed longer at the café and talked for a while.

Soon enough it was morning again, and Luna sat in the little café's window side table with Itachi, absentmindedly toying with her earrings.

"What are your earrings supposed to be?" Itachi asked, reaching over and holding one up. Luna felt herself blush, but Itachi didn't notice.

"Dirigible plums," she explained, and his hand was back at his side.

"Whats?"

"Dirigible plums." She repeated, and he shook his head.

"What are dirigible plums?" He asked her.

"Um," Luna stopped a minute. It probably hadn't been smart to mention the plums. But… "A branch off the radish family."

"Well, you can pretty much tell from their shape," Itachi said, rolling his black eyes.

"I like their shape." Luna said, pulling her hand up to where his had been, flipping her earring a bit.

A minute passed, then Itachi spoke. "They remind me of an old family crest," he said. "Just a bit."

Luna was about to respond, but something behind Itachi caught her eye. "That's odd," she told him. "They're wearing the same cloak. Same as yours, too."

Itachi jerked his head back so fast Luna was surprised it hadn't broken his neck.

He was now facing two unknown men- at least Luna thought they were men. One looked awfully feminine while the other wore a mask concealing his features.

The masked figure said something excitedly in Japanese, tugging on the other's hair, earning himself a wack on the head.

"Deidara. Tobi." Itachi addressed each of them in astonishment.

Luna smiled at the newcomers. "Hello," she said.

Itachi glanced toward her, but that was the only reaction from the three of them combined.

Luna didn't quite understand the next snippet of conversation, but she knew just enough Japanese to make out what the conversation was about. Once again, here's that 'this is a fanficiton things can work out absurdly perfect as I want them too' concept that came up back in part one.

The two newcomers disappeared quickly as they'd come, except not really, because one of them was dragging his feet while the other pulled him happily from the shop.

Itachi sat back down.

"You're leaving?" Luna said, and it wasn't really a question. Even though there was a question mark. You can't always trust your eyes. Go, look again. You did, didn't you. Ha!!! Okay, I'm sorry. I'm wrecking the mood again.

Itachi's dark eyes bored into her. "I guess so." He murmured.

Luna stared back at him, and something seemed to hit her. She shut her eyes to block out his, because she didn't want to take it. She didn't want to admit to herself that she might not see him again. She didn't want him to leave. That would be horrible.

Because Luna liked Itachi an awful lot. She couldn't pinpoint anything about him that she liked, but she liked the whole of him. It was fun to be with him, whether or not he thought it was fun to be with her.

Maybe Luna loved him.

Before she had time to sort out her thoughts, Itachi grabbed her wrist. He dropped money on the table and leaving the rest of his coffee and hers as well, he pulled her with him to the streets outside.

"Where are we going?" she asked him, as he led her down the streets of town (right to the traffic cop).

Itachi didn't answer, but continued to guide her. She started to get a feeling that maybe he didn't know either, until they stopped at a park bench. Itachi looked at it for a minute, then sat himself down. Luna sat next to him, still a little confused about more than why they were there.

But she found it difficult to think about herself, because Itachi looked so troubled.

She edged closer to him, and put her hand on his arm. He looked up at her.

"Do you want to go?" She asked, an attempt to straighten the facts for both of them.

"I don't know." He said. "I don't know."

"Where are you going?" she asked next, her hand still on his arm.

"Home." He told her. "Japan." (Aaaand, as I said in Itachi's version of this, he proceeds to tell her exactly where in Japan he's going but _I _don't know where exactly in Japan he's going!!!)

Luna shut her eyes a moment to block out how far away he would be. As a witch, she could, of course, just apparate over any time, but most non-magic folk didn't take planes and boats and who knows what other muggle transportation just for a short visit, and never often. It's not like she could apparate to Japan every morning for coffee. That would raise suspicion.

"When do you leave?" She asked, opening her eyes again.

"I have today, and tomorrow." He looked a bit helpless, like he didn't know what to do next, nor how to do it. Luna wasn't sure what to do either, but this wasn't the time to fall to pieces. Sometimes one needed to have their wits about them.

"Then, if you have to go, do everything you want to do here before you go," Luna told him. "Maybe then you won't regret leaving so much." She would still regret him leaving, but maybe she could make it easier for him.

Itachi didn't respond, so she asked, "What is it that you wanted to do? What keeps you from leaving?"

He still didn't give her an answer.

"Itachi?"

His head turned towards hers, his eyes meeting hers.

Thoughts swam confusingly around Luna's head.

Itachi looked away, and down at his hands. "I want to see the aquarium." He said. "The one you went to see, way back before…"

"You talked to me?" Luna finished.

Itachi nodded. He was still looking away from her. "Would you go with me?" he asked her. "I- don't know where it is."

Luna smiled, and nodded. "Come," she told him, "We can go now. It's not far." She held out her hand for Itachi, who smiled a little and took it.

The aquarium was as beautiful as it had been the last time, although Luna still felt a little guilty at partaking in the amusement muggles derived fm catching living creatures.

But she thought what she liked best this time was being there with Itachi. Despite his tendency to knock on the glass when Luna turned her back. (She found it cute. Wow, that's bizarre.) She was beginning to wonder if maybe she did like him a little more than usual. Because every time he turned her way, she smiled. And holding his hand on the way over…

They had lunch at he aquarium's restaurant, although the food was horrible, because Luna wanted to see them feed the penguins after lunch. And that fact has nothing to do with the rest of the story.

The afternoon flew by, although they spent only the first part still at the aquarium (it's not as huge and awesome as the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which pwns all of your aquariums. No offense to your aquariums.). Wow that was a disconnected last two paragraphs.

Morning dawned chilly yet promising, and hopefully you're looking forward to reading this because I'm looking forward to writing it .

Luna, dressed in jeans that she's charmed green (you know, I never thought Luna seemed much of a pants person, so this is the first time you've seen her wearing pants.) and a yellow daisy blouse, her hair pulled back in a dark green butterfly clip, skipped through town, anxious to see Itachi for the last day.

Which she stubbornly was refusing to let bother her. There would be time for regrets when he was gone, and Luna was not up for making this harder than it needed to be.

Itachi was already at the café when she arrived, and she hurried over to sit with him.

"What do you want to do today?"

Itachi thought for a moment, before answering "I want to just walk. Back in the hills, where we walked before."

Luna smiled and nodded. "The hills it is."

They left early from the café, and Luna had the foresight to run into a shop before they left and bring along lunches if they were still walking.

Which they were.

They walked for longer than Luna thought she could have held up, but neither of them suggested they stop, and neither of them really wanted to. And so they found themselves, the sun low in the sky, still wandering around the endless hills, and every second seemed like something precious to be kept forever.

"Let's sit down," Luna suggested finally, when her feet were close to falling off. "I don't know if I can walk any farther."

And so they stopped, underneath a large, shady tree. (And we lie, beneath a shady tree. I love her and she's loving me…)

"These hills," Itachi murmured, leaning back against the trunk. "There's something about them."

"I love them," Luna said, her eyes washing over them. "Growing up here is as magical as anything I've ever experienced." And she meant it, although in a different sense than the whole tossing spells at Death Eaters kind.

"I wish I could just take the hills with me." Itachi said quietly, as the sun made it's gradual way towards the horizon. He looked over at her.

Luna wished he could take _her_ with him. "I hope you had fun the last day or two," she said instead, "Did you do everything you wanted to?"

She was aware, as she looked up at the clouds through the tree branches, that Itachi was still looking at her. "Just about." He said.

"Are you leaving early tomorrow?" she asked. "Will I see you at coffee tomorrow?" she thought she already knew the answer, but she asked anyway.

"I don't think so." Itachi didn't sound any more enthusiastic than Luna felt.

"Are you sure you did everything?" Luna asked, desperate for another activity to keep him longer.

She looked over at him, and his expression became very strange. "No," he murmured. "I'm not so sure."

"What did you want to do?" She asked him, looking back into his (at the moment) dark eyes. "Is it something I can help you with?"

Itachi smiled.

"Yes," he said quietly. "You can help."

His hand met her face, tilting her chin up towards him.

"Would you help me?"

Luna's heart stopped. She couldn't have moved if she'd wanted to.

And she didn't want to.

Itachi decided not to wait for an answer, and somehow he was kissing her.

And somehow Luna was kissing him back.

Sometimes, when you are incredibly happy, the world is a different place. Sometimes it's the same place. Sometimes, you aren't even paying attention to where you are. Sometimes you don't need to.

Luna couldn't tell which it was. All she knew was that Itachi's arms were around her, and that was all that really mattered.

But nothing lasts forever. Except maybe Hidan. But you know what, he's a freak.

Anyhow, when Itachi finally let her go, she was vaguely aware that her face was bright red, so much so that she wondered if it was vlue. (Will explain, I promise.) She looked over at Itachi, who was smiling at her, and she felt her face get even redder. (There's that word again. I know it's a real word, but it just doesn't sound right.)

The setting sun caught her eye, and she looked down. The sun had reminded her that nothing was quite as fine as the previous 'activity' had given the illusion of. Somehow she was going to have to hide her love away. (Which was totally _not_ induced by the song 'you've got to hide your love away' by The Beatles happening to come on Itunes right then. ) She felt something burning in her eyes, and realized to her surprise that there were tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked up at Itachi, who's face fell.

He pulled her close, even though she already was, and Luna could not stop herself from weeping into his large black cloak. Itachi just held her until she was able to calm herself.

"I'm sorry." She told him, when she had finally stopped. "I shouldn't have."

But Itachi shook his head. "Neither should I have," He reassured her. "But I did, so we're even."

Luna didn't think they were at all even, she felt she owed him a great deal more, but didn't say anything. The two just sat in companionable silence, lost in their own thoughts, despite the fact that it was dark already.

Something shifted.

Luna fell into consciousness.

She didn't open her eyes, she kept them closed and tried to make sense of what was going on.

A few scenes flashed before her eyes, the hills, her tears, his lips…

Her eyelids snapped up. She was still under the tree, she noticed, with the hills surrounding her, but Itachi was leaving. He had his back turned, and he was walking away.

"Wait." His head turned, his eyes met her desperate. "Wait," she repeated.

He gave her a sad little smile, his eyes portraying a different scene, and began to turn away. "Goodbye, Luna." And he was gone, bounding through the hills so fast Luna's eyes could barely keep up. And then he was out of sight.

Luna thought she had cried all her tears out the night before (treat me like you did the night before…) but she was wrong. Because there were more, spilling onto her grass stained jeans as she curled up against the tree. He was gone. There was nothing she could do. Was there nothing she could do?

Dag nabbit, Luna was a witch, and a very talented one at that, she wasn't going to let herself be defeated by the departure of one loved when she could fight death eaters as bravely as any full grown witch or wizard. She wasn't losing him now, not after last night. She wiped away her tears and stood up, disappearing with a crack from the spot where she stood.

"Luna!" Her dad cried in relief as she apparated into the kitchen. "I was worried! You didn't tell me you'd be out all night!"

"I didn't know." She called, as she was already bolting upstairs. She changed quickly into new muggle clothing, then magicked up a large trunk, and began charming her clothes and belongings into it.

"Luna, dear?" Her father called, climbing up the stairs to meet her. "Where are you going?" he asked, as he spotted her trunk being filled.

"Japan," she answered. "I think I ought to move sometime, don't you?"

"B- Luna!" Xenophilius gasped. "You- you can't! Not so suddenly, we haven't talked at all!"

"I'm sorry, daddy, I need to leave immediately. I'll come back soon and we can talk about this if you like." She said, helping along her robes and contraptions to fit comfortably in the travel sized case with a charm or two.

"Can't you… can't you-"

"No, daddy, I can't," Luna smiled wistfully. "You always told me to follow my dreams. Mine left." (I just assume he did. Doesn't every parent tell their child that? In books they do. In this fanficiton they do. Just deal, I thought it was a cute line.)

And as her father stood there looking confused at what she had just said, and hoping desperately this wasn't some jerk stealing his daughter, (Heh.) Luna finished her packing. She picked up the handle of the case carrying all her belongings, waved goodbye to her father, and turned around, feeling the familiar squeeze as she entered the sort of Limbo that exists between disapparation and apparation.

She's leaving home, bye, bye…

Okay. Chances are, you're staring at the page, saying 'wait a minute here, that's not right. She's supposed to take a broom! Wasn't she scared of splinching herself? What's going on!!!!'

Well, I lied. Or really I just messed up. She was supposed to apparate, which is why when Itachi is telling her his destination he describes it in more detail. And if she flew I would have to bother with her wondering how the heck Deidara was blowing up the planes and her reactions to that. It might be fun to write, but it doesn't work with the story.

So please, no ragging on me for this. I just made a mistake. This is what happens.

I'm still working out how Luna managed to apparate into a place with no muggles, so lets all just say she was lucky.

Luna was lucky enough to apparate onto an empty street, as quietly as she could despite the loud crack.

She knew she had acted recklessly. She knew she couldn't speak Japanese, she didn't have a place to stay, and she would have to start earning muggle money, as she didn't know any wizard communities around the area yet. Although she would find one eventually.

But it didn't really matter. So she set off to find a muggle hotel, she would stay there until she could find and afford a place to stay.

Now it just a matter of finding Itachi. She knew she was in the right town, because she had seen the name on billboards. (Despite not being able to read Japanese. Just stay with me here.) So she began to wander through the town, hours on end passed and she was still looking. She would continue tomorrow if necessary, she might look all week and not see him. It was an unfamiliar town.

She was wondering if she oughtn't to turn in and start looking early tomorrow, but it was barely dark. So she decided she'd get a coffee and stay out late looking. She walked toward a nearby teashop for something to drink.

She walked in, and looked around. It was charming enough, it didn't have ivy on the roof, but it was a quaint little place with charm of it's own. She sat down, and began to look at what they served.

And someone knocked over a cup of coffee.

She looked over quickly, her earrings flashing in the light of the café.

She looked right past the spilt coffee and up into a face that hour ago she might never have seen again.

If you don't know what's going on right about now then you are so dumb you probably don't know I'm insulting you. WHICH I AM.

Luna smiled. She felt like the sun had broken through the night sky and shone down just on her. (And Itachi. But that sounded too sappy in the sentence.)

Itachi looked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He made to get up and go over to her, but Luna was already there. Itachi smiled and welcomed her gratefully into his open arms, arms which had been closed for pretty much his whole sad life. But Luna didn't know that.

And they just stayed like that for some time, Luna never did order anything. She'd gotten what she'd come for. She held on to him as tightly as she could, because letting go might mean he would dissolve into the air and she would have to look all over again. And that was unacceptable.

"How did you get here?" Itachi asked into her dirty blonde hair, a note of awe in his voice.

Luna smiled. She knew she wouldn't get away without a question. "It was time to move anyway," she told him. "I can't live with my father forever."

"Luna, how did you get here?"

"How did you?"

"What, you flew on a giant clay bird too?"

"What?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Nothing."

As many times as he asked, Luna didn't answer. If he was going to find out, he was going to prove himself trustworthy. Of course how was she to know he was so untrustworthy he would spy on her and learn that way? Of course that's not this story.

Eventually he gave up. Luna sighed and laid her head against his chest, and Itachi's arms closed around her. She felt so at peace she could have fallen asleep and never woken up.

Of course, that would have sucked because there goes part one and two and five, which I'm looking forward too.

They stayed until Luna had actually fallen asleep, and had had to be shaken awake because the store was closing. Which is a little different from Itachi's point of view, sorry, but it's cuter.

Luna was escorted back to the hotel she was staying at by Itachi, who promised to see her tomorrow and help her with finding a place to stay. She ran up to her room, anxious to get to sleep, so that she could wake up in the morning and see Itachi again.

It seemed that she would have plenty of time with him in the future, which suited her just fine.

HIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLESHIPEOPLES

Ha ha wow. At this point I swear this pairing feels like it was meant to be. But I mean, luna and Itachi? Who am I kidding… I'm kidding me. I believe!!!!!!!!!!! Okay sorry.

Alright, on with that stuff that makes no sense. There was plently.

First of all, the night before is a song by the Beatles. 'Treat me like you did the night before' were some of the lyrics. 'she's leaving home bye, bye' are also lyrics, from another Beatles song, called 'she's leaving home' that's what that's about.

And infact 'you've got to hide your love away.' Did come on just then. Just thought I should make that clear. It's a good song… ok sorry.

'and we lie beneath a shady tree…' also a Beatles song. It's good day sunshine, every time I hear that line I think of hose two lying under a tree together. It's so cute!

And 'vlue' is a color. I've been emailing Luna lately, and if you don't believe then just try but the point is- she's been telling me vlue is a color. A sort of 'purple that isn't' is how she described it, and dammit apparently Gaara knows that color too, and it's driving me insane. But since Luna is the one who told me about it, I thought it would be fun to work it in somehow. And since vlue must be somehow close to red, because it isn't purple. (even though it is, I guess.) So I guess it's possible to blush vlue.

'he led her down the streets of town right to the traffic cop' is a line from frosty the snowman. The song. I just sort of… added that. Sorry.

alright, next up, luna actually tries to charm that board game, and in doing so creating the beast that is **wizards' checkers** . you'd thinks he'd have learned not to experiment with magic after her mother, but…

please review. please tell me what you thought, because if you don't tell me, then I wont' know. and I wanna know!!!!!!!


	8. Om Nom Nom

I am afraid that something dastardly has occurred.

I am rather stuck on exactly how to end this. I am lacking in motivation. What I am posting now is the first half of part 5. It's not a cliffhanger, I don't like those so I attempt to avoid posting them incase I never get around to finishing.

It may be nicely rounded off, but it isn't finished. There are bits and pieces to tie together, rather large bits and pieces… yeah.

I am really, really really sorry that it took so long to write. I wanted to post them together, so I'm now working on the second half, but it may take a while, let me repeat, I'm sorry.

But for now, on with half one of part five! Disclaimers, basically I don't own anything. Except, amazingly enough, wizards' checkers is mine. MINE MINE MINE MINE okay sorry but it feels good to have something that I didn't steal from JK Rowling or that guy who wrote Naruto. (No offense to people who think I should know the author's name.)

BUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSSBUGSS

"What?"

"Wizards' checkers!" Luna explained cheerfully. "I've enchanted the board, you see, and now it resembles wizards' chess in the way the pieces move."

"Wizards' chess?" Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Am I missing something…?"

Luna shook her head happily. "I don't think it's that complicated, it's a checkers board that moves on command."

True, Luna had finally charmed her own board game. Remember that talking, cheating chess game…? Well, Luna dug it up the other day, and remembering all the times it had made her wish she had a better enchanted board game, she went to go buy a muggle checker board. (Incidentally, it was from a certain antique shop in Ottery St Catchpole that had had to go out of business because a certain rambunctious customer had wrecked the most of their merchandise, so they were having a sale.)

She had worked it so that the pieces levitated where they were asked, and when taken, dissolved into the wooden game board until the game had been won. (She thought breaking them like in wizards' chess was a bit dramatic, it was much cleaner this way.) (Although Itachi might've gotten a bigger kick out of that.)

"Well," Itachi shrugged. "Shall we play?"

"Let's shall." (Credit to Dianna.)

It had been several months now since Luna had come to the Akatsuki, and she had proved very useful, even though she held back an awful lot. She never hurt anybody; if someone unavoidably had to be killed she would go elsewhere, turn a blind eye. Many a life was saved by her memory charm, though. (Yay Even in the Akatsuki she's one of the good guys.)

Deidara never quite got over her, nor the shame of his simple defeat. He tended to avoid Luna these days. Although he had been known to stare from across the room every once and a while. No one but Itachi really noticed, and he just discarded it because Deidara never came anywhere near them.

But for the moment, it was just Luna and Itachi in a mostly and unusually deserted Akatsuki lounge, except for Konan with her headphones, and Zetsu watching paint dry.

Giraffe. I just noticed now that back in part one, large paragraph at the end, Luna's father was worried that she was missing, well as her friends, because she had been kidnapped. But she'd moved out, so they weren't there. They didn't know. Sooooo, I am apologizing here and now for that slip up.

"King me." Itachi sat back smugly in his seat, being incredibly confident that he would win. I'm pretty confident he's gonna win too, and as I'm the author(ess. Fine.) you can pretty much bet on it.

Luna sighed and kinged him. (Okay. I don't know a whole lot about checkers. Don't play much. So if I get something wrong don't kill me.)

The game resumed, Itachi watching each time on of (Luna's) pieces disappeared into the board like Zetsu into the earth. Itachi's hadn't disappeared at all yet, so he wasn't sure if it worked the same way.

"You there, number three, move to f-6." He said, pointing vaguely at one of his playing pieces. It jumped up and, hopping over two of Luna's pieces, landed just where Itachi had instructed. Luna shook her head as one of the pieces that had been taken sunk into the checkerboard.

The other one sank halfway into the board and stopped.

Luna frowned. That wasn't supposed to happen. She prodded the checkerboard with her wand, the half-stuck piece quivered but stayed where it was.

"What happened?" Itachi asked, bemused at the stubborn game piece.

"I don't know exactly, I can only assume I messed up the charm." Luna said, contemplating the board. She tapped the tip of her wand to her chin like we might chew on a pencil eraser (I don't.), which caused Itachi to point out that she was growing a wispy beard just where her wand was hitting.

She blushed and set it right.

"I think I can fix it, though," she said after a minute, and before Itachi said anything, she flicked her wand and muttered under her breath.

The pieces all sprouted back up onto the board, and Luna waved her wand again.

The checkerboard stayed exactly the same, but Luna looked pleased.

"I think it worked," She said contentedly.

It makes me sad to say that you think she would have learned her lesson about experimenting with magic when she was nine.

"So I assume we have to restart the game?" Itachi sighed.

"That would be prudent," Luna replied, although she knew she could have set the board back how it had been if she had tried. But she had been losing... and Itachi would win either way.

"You go first." Itachi offered, which was either signs of chivalry or Itachi showing off that he could win anyhow.

Luna considered the board. "Five, to E7." She instructed, and her circular army man jumped to her directions.

"Five to B3."

About thirty seconds later Itachi was watching with his ingrown smirk as Luna's circular army man sunk into the 'antique' wooden checkerboard.

Luna shook her head laughing. "You don't give a girl a chance," She teased. He smiled at her. (How can he not? It's Itachi and Luna.)

The checkerboard made an odd wheezing noise and spat out Luna's red checkers soldier. Luna looked down at it, and frowned.

"That's odd…" she said slowly.

The board fizzled a bit, seeming a little bit possessed. And then, because without special effects it seems so dull, an odd sort of puce lightning seemed to strike from it, so quickly that Itachi couldn't be sure he'd seen it. But as Luna was looking a little frightened too, he assumed it wasn't just him.

"That's not good." Luna said.

"What did it do?" Itachi groaned.

"I-" but she didn't get any farther than that because Deidara was storming in. his hair tie was pink and fluffy.

"Might've been that." Luna said, trying to keep from smiling because Deidara looked so outraged.

Itachi was laughing. Which takes a bit, seeing as he's…Itachi.

"Okay," Deidara mumbled fiercely, as though he was having a little trouble talking. "Someone tell me what this is about."

He stuck out his tongue, it was covered in angry looking burn marks, and it had swelled a bit.

Luna winced. "Oops. Guess it was worse."

"Not only," Deidara snapped, stumbling over his sore tongue. He brought up his hands and they stuck out their tongues.

Burned as well.

Itachi was still laughing. "Then what's the pink rubber band?"

Deidara started, looking up as though he could see it. "Ah-" His face was turning red. "Forgot about that."

While he was occupied, Luna took out her wand and flicked it slightly, because luckily enough healing burns was something she could do. With a wand and no weird herbs.

Deidara barely seemed to notice that he could talk straight. "It was a dare, okay?" He spat frustratedly, "It's not like I wear this for…for fun or something."

But Itachi was still shaking when Deidara turned and stalked out of the room.

Luna couldn't help laughing a bit too, but mainly because Itachi was laughing. Some laughs are a little more contagious to certain people, I should say.

Luna tried once again to fix the board. She took more time on it, cast a few more spells, precaution.

"Can we try, just once more?" She asked.

"Hell yeah." Itachi grinned. "That was great the first time around."

Luna smiled. "All right, then, you go first this time."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. Somewhere, across the continent, Gaara felt a random pang of jealousy.

"Come on," Luna rolled her eyes. "You're going to win anyway."

"True," Itachi shrugged. "Then, four to H3."

And so the game commenced.

As Luna's first piece was taken, she held her breath to see if it would stay quite. Itachi held his breath to see what hijink it would come up with next.

They waited…nothing happened, and Luna was relieved. Itachi was slightly disappointed, but there you go.

And then the board began to rattle. Luna looked a bit frightened, and Itachi was wondering if it would finish off Kisame for him.

Luna shifted over towards Itachi and cast a silent shield charm around the both of them before the now scarlet flash struck.

Shield charm receding, Luna stayed where she was, and she and Itachi surveyed the room for any change the bright red lightning could have influenced. Konan looked a little fizzled, and Zetsu had looked away from the wall in confusion, (oh he's very confused indeede… evil laughter keep reading) so apparently the second flare had attracted more attention than the last one. (Not including Deidara, who I don't feel like counting. Although he was plenty aware of the first explosion for the all of them.)

"Maybe we should just play regular checkers," Luna sighed. "I can work on this later." She waved her wand, sucking the pieces back out of the chessboard. Itachi made a face, but got up obediently (wow when did that happen) and fished out his nice checkerboard from the closet, where Kakuzu had thrown it roughly.

"Shall I walk you to your defeat?"

"Why thank you."

Watching paint dry, if you've ever tried it, is incredibly boring.

Especially when the wall hasn't been painted.

But it's not like Zetsu had anything better to do. Well, one side of him did, but the other side refused to get up and go get the book he'd been reading. Does that make sense? Good. Explain it to me.

A minute ago, he'd been staring at the wall, wishing it were painted, and then it was. Not a lot, just one small portion. It was a bright red, which seemed such a random color at the time. Just one square was painted.

And it was already dry.

He swore, the other side of him gasped.

Immuna call them zets1 and zets2. Zets1 is the black half. When I refer to Zetsu, it means both of them. Or him as an entity. I don't really understand how I'm going to pull this off. Okay, now that that's cleared up, onward.

Zetsu turned away from the wall, confused and bored out of his skull. Konan was tuned out underneath her annoying headphones, and Itachi was playing checkers with Luna.

Zetsu watched them a while.

Well, not really.

He watched one of them a while.

Who can guess which one? Dianna, because she knows the direction I'm headed in. the rest of you, because you're smart and know that it doesn't make sense for him to stare at Itachi. Which it doesn't, really, although it makes barely more sense for him to stare at Luna. All of him, yes.

She looked good today.

Really good.

He argued with himself quietly a bit, and Deidara walked in. without a pink scrunchy. He glanced over at Luna as well, then went to the watching-nonexistent-paint-dry spot.

Apparently, it's not an uncommon pastime. Wow these people need lives. Or I need to stop making them look bad. Or straying from the plot on tangents like this. Sorry.

"There's paint," Deidara remarked surprisedly. That may not be a word. Spell check says it's not. Oops, tangent. "Zetsu, did you…?" Deidara strayed off, having noticed that Zetsu was staring fixedly at a certain blonde witch. He grinned knowingly.

Zets1 noticed. He looked over, which looked really creepy because zets2 was still watching Luna.

"You got it too?" Deidara asked, eyebrow raised.

"Got what?" Zets1 said blankly.

Deidara smirked. "The lovebug. The Hots. What do you call it?"

Zets1 just stared at him. "What?" he repeated.

Zets2 looked over at last, just as confused.

Deidara frowned. "Come on, Zetsu, you were looking at her like she was something to eat."

Zets1 brought his fist down on a nearby and conveniently placed bookstand. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Zets2 asked, and Deidara stared, he never had gotten over the way Zetsu talked to himself.

"Eating! We need to eat her!" Zets1 exclaimed.

"Hmm, you might be right," Zets2 said, glancing back at Luna. "Never wanted to eat anything so much before, though."

Deidara looked slightly alarmed. "Wh- it's an expression!" he complained, but Zetsu had closed his awesome flytrap in excited contemplation. Deidara groaned and went to lie down.

For the millionth time, Zetsu found himself watching Luna from across the room. He had decided to eat her some time when Itachi was not around, as getting past Itachi and then getting to Luna would be harder than eliminating the first step all together.

Deidara had tried to dissuade him several times, insisting that he was nuts and couldn't he just eat something else anyhow. But every time Zetsu thought maybe he wouldn't, one glance at Luna would change his mind.

And so he continued his careful planning, lying in wait for the time to spring.

Later that evening, very late, in fact, as the Akatsuki lounge was deserted, Luna and Itachi sat on the small couch (incidentally, these are called loveseats ) watching a small fire burn. It was in a fireplace, albeit a roughly created one, as Itachi had decided it was cold and kicked a hole in the rock wall. Luna provided the flames.

And so they sat, Itachi's arm around Luna, mesmerized by the flickering light that was the fire.

"Hold it."

Itachi spoke suddenly, his eyes had not moved from the flame.

"Hmm?" Luna looked up at him. "Hold what?"

Itachi shook his head. "Not you." He stroked her head as he stood up. "You." He turned toward the doorway.

Kisame was heading past the doorway to the lounge. He turned his head, wincing all suspicious-like.

"(Where have, you, been! Beds empty! No note! Car gone! You could have died, you could have been seen!!!) Kisame," Itachi said, instead of Mrs. Weasley's rant. "You never come in this late."

Kisame made a face. "I can come in late if I want."

"Your face is all red."

"It was cold."

"You face gets bluer in the cold."

"You don't know that."

"I've worked with you long enough to know that your face turns bluer in the cold. And it's bright red."

Luna just sort of watched in amusement. She had already figured out what was up, having intuition about what people might be thinking.

"It's none of your beeswax, okay?" Kisame was saying, in hushed tones as to not draw more attention.

"Hmm, and yet let's go back to part one where you clearly messed with my beeswax," Itachi told him.

Kisame made yet another face (so mature) and walked away.

Because he was too lame to come up with another insult, yet I think Kakuzu is the only Akatsuki lame enough to use your mom or your face. Even as a last resort.

Itachi shook his had, and settled back down next to Luna. He grinned at her.

Who of course smiled back, that just happens.

"Who do you think she is?" Luna asked.

"I don't know," Itachi replied, "But I intend to find out."

And so it was that the next night, Itachi was stationed outside the Akatsuki caves, (the back door that led to the village Luna used to stay at) waiting for Kisame.

Sure enough, he came.

He made his way swiftly through the trees, and Itachi took off after him.

And followed him undetected by Kisame.

Although there was someone who knew he was gone.

Which was Zetsu.

Who is kinda the greatest outdoor spy there ever was.

I think.

Luna was sitting in her room with a book she had found (called 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' ok just kidding) on Wizarding trinkets, good luck charms, and hover charmed bracelets that were hot on the market years ago, comparing them to today's goods.

She had a pot of tea warming under bluebell flames, (you know the ones) and a cup of the same by her side.

Unnoticed by her, she was not the only being in the room.

If you haven't guessed, Zetsu had left the great outdoors. Well, technically, the caves are part of the great outdoors, but that's beside the point. And he was, at the moment, stationed silently behind the innocent blonde witch.

Luna noticed nothing, as she no longer felt threat from the Akatsuki with her wand, and had no foeglass, sneakascope or dark detector of any sort in her possession.

And so Zetsu crept closer, because if she noticed him a moment too soon he would find himself pinned to the floor unable to move. Which would pretty much stop him devouring her.

And that would be…bad? For Zetsu, I guess, but I'm really hoping you, as the reader, are not hoping Luna to be eaten. If you are, please just stop reading. Get out of here. That's just not even funny. How could you be to mean to her? What had she ever done to you? If you answered 'she stole my Itachi' because you're a fan girl, why are you even reading this?

Okay that whole paragraph was one long tangent. And I didn't mean it come back and read my fanficiton…T.T

Kisame had stopped.

Outside the very teashop that held so many memories for Itachi. He walked into it, smiling his fishy smile.

So Itachi followed. Kisame was very preoccupied, because Itachi was able to find himself a table and sit in the open without notice.

Every minute or so Kisame would glance nervously at the door. As though he was wondering whether someone would show up.

Insecure dolt.

Itachi sat in silence, watching Kisame to see when the right girl approach.

The little bell over the door dinged once more, and Itachi saw Kisame perk slightly. So he looked over at the door.

A scholarly looking sort of girl walked in, with glasses and a shy sort of look. She fidgeted nervously with the strap of her book bag, strung across her shoulder, looking around. (Like a continental soldier does your book bag hang low…) She caught Kisame's eye, and hurried to sit down with him.

It reminded Itachi of when he used to sit with Luna in the little Ivy covered café. That was a while ago… he was reminiscing fondly (Itachi does that???) before he heard Kisame speak.

"Lettuce," He greeted her happily. "It's good to see you."

"You, too," she told him. She smiled at him, and Kisame flushed.

Yup, Kisame was head over heels.

Man, Itachi thought to himself, I am so glad my image wasn't mutilated like so when Luna came round.

"Later, um, there's a water park, if you wanted to…?" Lettuce was saying, looking down and fidgeting a bit.

Kisame's beady eyes lit up "I- if you want to," He stumbled over the words as they streamed out.

"…Yeah." Lettuce looked back up at him. "That would be fun."

They just sat there blushing at each other.

Itachi had his face in his hands. This was embarrassing. They obviously weren't getting anywhere; they couldn't even talk to each other coherently. Luna was so much easier to be around. Itachi wanted to tell the whole teashop he didn't know them. Itachi had lost what little respect he might have held for his partner.

He couldn't take any more, he left for the caves.

Deidara's Minion Magazine had disappeared.

He suspected Tobi, but then again he always suspected Tobi. Either way, he was storming towards the lounge, and whoever had taken it might find they had fewer limbs than they were used to.

He passed an open door, glancing inside as he swept passed out of habit. He stopped. Looked again.

Zetsu was right behind Luna, flytrap spread wide.

Deidara yelped a bit, and instead of doing the obvious and sensible thing of going and blowing Zetsu up, he ran to go find Itachi.

Sometimes panic makes us stupid.

Hmm? What was that?" Luna looked up from her book. She was sure she had heard something, from the doorway, perhaps. She turned to look-

And instead found herself staring into the assorted eyes of a looming Zetsu.

"Om nom nom!" Zetsu said, because om nom nom is an awesome phrase when you're about to eat someone.

Luna didn't quite understand why Zetsu was behind her, because having gotten used to him over the past few months she didn't really reflect on the fact that she was being considered lunch.

Zetsu stared down at her, arguing with himself.

Which isn't uncommon, as it's Zetsu. But the funny thing was he wasn't arguing with Zets1 or Zets2, it was all of him arguing with all of him.

He could eat Luna then and there.

Chomp.

That would be it.

But what would he do then?

"Tea?" Luna held up another cup, which she had conjured as Zetsu wasn't paying attention.

Zets2 blinked. Zets1 stared. Which I guess makes him winking, but isn't the effect I was going for.

Itachi strolled into the caves, heading toward the lounge to see if that checkerboard still worked.

And nearly literally, he ran into Deidara.

Who looked a little flustered. (Which might be an understatement.)

"Itachi!" He gasped. "Zetsu…Luna…eating…argh!"

Itachi just sort of stared. "Um…what?"

"Zetsu's eating Luna!" Deidara screamed at him, having gotten his breath back. Although I still think he should have just helped her himself. Stop telling me I could just change it, being the author. That's not nearly as interesting.

And Itachi was already running down the hall, no longer headed toward the Akatsuki lounge.

Why the hell was Zetsu trying to eat Luna?

That could be pondered later.

When Luna was safe.

Fast as his legs could carry him, which is incredibly fast, Itachi was at Luna's door. It was open, as he had suspected so, as otherwise it would have been magically locked and Zetsu wouldn't have been able to get in.

He stopped.

Zetsu was indeed(e) in the room with Luna. But he wasn't eating her.

They were having an odd sort of tea party.

Itachi just stood in the doorway in confusion, until Luna noticed him. (It didn't take long. She has some sort of Itachi sensor, I think.)

Itachi!" she called, and Zetsu looked over. "Want to have a tea party?"

Itachi opened his mouth to decline, but was he really gonna reject an offer to drink tea with Luna? Hell no.

"Okay." Itachi shrugged, and went to sit down with them, Luna conjuring a third teacup and pouring tea into it for him.

Zetsu watched all jealous-like as Luna handed him the teacup with such a warm smile on her face. Not that he knew it was jealousy.

Deidara peeked into the room. His jaw dropped.

Well, you can't blame him. He was expecting to see Zetsu trying to eat Luna and Itachi trying to kill Zetsu and instead they're all having a tea party.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at Deidara, who interpreted it to mean 'we'll talk about this later.'

He turned to slink off and dread, but somehow ended up staying.

If you were interested, it ends up that Tobi did not steal Deidara's magazine, that was Kakuzu, and both later came to join the party as well.

Please tell me you can see the bizarre irony in half or more of the Akatsuki sitting down and having a tea party with Luna Lovegood.

Omnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnomomomnomnomomnomnomomnomnom

Lettuce Midorikawa. If you read Tokyo Mew Mew, you will be gasping and saying wait a minute it isn't-

But it is. It's lettuce. Yeah. Pairing of the fish people. But, MORE DISCLAIMERS, I don't own her, or the pairing either. That was Dianna's idea. She just came to school one day and said, 'I made a pairing!' and so I used it. There. But it's hers, not mine. I don't own Tokyo mew mew, Lettuce, or anything except wizards' checkers. (Yes…)

Ok. You may also be groaning at me and saying 'please please please stop making every single Akatsuki member fall for Luna…' truth is? I'm out of Ideas. With Luna's power, you can't have difficult problems including large fights or power and stuff so I am confined to problems that can't be solved by magic, which leads to people falling in love. I promise that I will not end this with the entire Akatsuki and Luna's feet. I think I'd have to commit suicide if I did that for shame, and that doesn't exactly tickle my fancy.

Okay. 'Wanna have a tea party Itachi?' 'Okay!' was taken from Kakashi Kisame wars, go look it up on Youtube it's literally thirty seconds long and well worth your while.

Well, there. Eventually I will, I repeat I WILL finish the next half. It's halfway done. But it may take a bit. And it may end up being the last of the Lunitachi series… it makes me sad…but it may be.

Please, please, please review, If you don't I'll be tormented forever about whether or not anybody liked the chapter at all and be to insecure to post the second half… okay that's a lie I'll post it anyway despite if everyone hates this now.


	9. finally it's here

Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes, I managed to finish. But right now, before I or you do anything else, you need to know: it's incredibly screwed up. It's both anticlimactic, nonsensical to the point where flying pastries of doom are hitting Zetsu, and just very…in pieces. I don't like it. I mean, it's amusing, but not my best work. So stick with me, even when I make no sense.

Speaking of making no sense, there is a point in which I became rather fed up with reality, and come in as the author and mess with the plotline. I know this isn't what you're looking for in this fanficiton, but I kept it in anyway. Hannah is a friend of mine who was over at the time, so you know. At least it's only a paragraph or so.

Also, there are a fair few inside jokes in here, I will explain them all at the end I promise. Except one, which I shall explain briefly now- the good/dead log is kind of taken from Naruto Abridged, which you should go look up right now. I mean after you read this, come back. Oh, yeah, and if you've never been, Quizno's is a sandwich place.

Alright. Read it, I don't own anything except that one checkers set that doesn't come back anyway.

I'mnotlisteninglalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

For the next few days, Itachi couldn't look Kisame in the face. Kisame had no idea why. Zetsu continued to stare at Luna, although he didn't know why.

He had confirmed that eating her was a bad idea.

Deidara had been lectured endlessly on being the boy who cried… um…. Man eating plant, even though he pleaded innocent over and over again. Which he was. But that doesn't stop Itachi anyway.

Luna remained blissfully unaware of anything odd going on, because.

Lettuce tripped over a dead log, a skateboard and two cats.

The only good log is a dead log.

"You know," Luna said suddenly, one night as she and Itachi were sitting on the loveseat again, this time reading. (Luna was reading a muggle romance novel and Itachi was reading one of Deidara's magazines. Incidentally, the romance was also Deidara's.) "You never told me. Did you find out who Kisame was seeing?"

"Well, I saw her, but I didn't get more than a name. I didn't stay long."

Luna nodded. "How did it go?" she asked, closing her book. (With a finger where she had stopped, so as not to lose it.)

Itachi shook his head. "He is a complete embarrassment. He can't talk to her coherently, and is the farthest thing from charming."

"Hmm." Luna frowned pensively.

"What?"

"Well, shouldn't we…help him or something?"

Itachi didn't particularly care whether Kisame got a girlfriend or not. "You can help him."

Luna tilted her head. "Well, you don't have to help, but at least don't mess it up."

Itachi grunted.

"Itachi?"

"Fine. I won't mess it up."

"Thank you."

Tomorrow, Kisame was supposed to meet Lettuce in the park. And he was at a thorough loss as to how he was going to survive without doing something embarrassing, or driving Lettuce off in some bizarre way.

There was a knocking sound outside his room, he turned to the doorway and saw Luna standing outside the cave entrance. "Can I come in?" she asked.

He nodded, although he had no idea what she could want.

She sat herself down on a wooden chair he'd picked up once, he didn't know why, he just liked it.

"So," Luna said. "Can you tell me anything about her?"

Kisame choked a bit.

"What are you talking about?" he said defensively, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

Luna's eyes widened. "Your girlfriend," She said as though it were nothing but a word.

Kisame had to sit down, to keep his legs from giving way. Enormous chakra reserves don't help at times like these. He didn't say anything a moment, just stared at her frustratedly. "What girlfriend." He decided on finally.

"Oh, is she not your girlfriend yet?" Luna asked apologetically. "I'm sorry, I assumed…"

Kisame continued his frustrated stare. What was this girl?

"…She's not my girlfriend." He told her.

"Yet," Luna finished for him, although he had not been intending to say it. "Does she like you, though?"

Kisame kicked the floor a bit. "I don't know. We hang out and stuff, so I guess it's not like she hates me."

"There you are, a place to start." Luna nodded encouragingly.

"How do I finish, then."

Luna shrugged. "There's only one way to find out; play the game."

Kisame gave her a funny look, but when she simply stared back at him, unblinking, he gave up. Truth was, he could use all the help he could get.

"Tell me the rules."

Luna smiled. "Step one, get to know her. You are indeed(e) already on step one. Step two would be telling her how you feel. From there you wing it."

Kisame was at a loss for words.

Well, that ended quickly.

"That doesn't help me!" He groaned. "I'm not telling her anything, I act like a dork around her. Help me with that."

Luna shrugged. "Alright. Next time you see her, I'll come too."

"What?"

"With Itachi. We'll make it a double date." She swung her legs happily at the thought. "I'll stop you from acting like a dork."

"_You'll_ stop me from acting like a dork?" Kisame snorted, his eyes straying to the odd necklace she wore, clumsily made from soda caps. (Well, butterbeer caps, but Kisame doesn't know that.")

Luna didn't seem to notice. (Well, she did, but she's very used to it.) "Yes, that way you will be more at ease."

Kisame groaned. But it didn't change the fact that now Luna and Itachi were scheduled to attend the next date.

"Shall we tag along?" finished Luna, proposing her plan to Itachi, who looked un-amused.

"Shall we not?"

"You don't want to go?" Luna frowned. "Why not?"

"Because Kisame's an embarrassment to humanity. I'm not actually sure he's human, though…"

"Please, let's go, I want to meet her, and besides, I like parks." Luna sat down beside Itachi, which was very close as he was sitting in an armchair.

"We'll go to the park anytime, just not with Kisame and his date."

"Please?"

Itachi cursed and consented.

And so, without fail, tomorrow arrived. And not a moment to soon, as Kisame was about to burst from anxiety.

He was, at the moment, pacing around, as sitting still subjected himself to Luna's comb, and she seemed to think that he should wear his hair sticking out to the sides. Because Luna just isn't the best person to ask for fashion advise. No offense, Luna, you're great, but there are times when one needs to look… normal.

Itachi was reading the romance Luna had finished determinedly, until Luna finally announced that they ought to head out.

Taking Luna's hand, Itachi followed the other two through the forest and Kisame brought them to the park that was his and Lettuce's rendezvous location.

Waiting on a park bench was a timid looking girl with long braids, playing with her handbag in a nervous fashion. Luna could tell that this was the girl they were meeting, because Kisame was blushing, and Itachi was groaning quietly.

Lettuce looked up. Kisame blushed a little more, but Luna prodded him from behind so he wouldn't stop. So he walked up to her, and cleared his throat nervously.

"Um, Hello, Lettuce."

"Hello," She said, her eyes flitting from Kisame to the two strangers behind him.

"This is Itachi, and Luna." Kisame introduced them, wishing they hadn't come after all.

"Friends of yours?" Lettuce asked shyly, (wow that's spelled weird.) and Kisame nodded hesitantly.

"Sort of."

Itachi frowned. "Luna, can't we leave."

"Later." She replied, squeezing his hand. She then approached Lettuce. "Hello," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Luna Lovegood. I hope you don't mind our intrusion, we simply wanted to meet you." She smiled her faraway smile, and Lettuce smiled back.

"It's…It's ok," she said, taking Luna's hand. "Um, pleased to meet you, Luna, I'm Lettuce Midorikawa."

"So, what should we do?" Kisame asked, once introductions were over. No one seemed to have any Ideas, except for Itachi, who suggested they leave. Luna waved that one aside.

"Well," said Lettuce finally. "We could just go somewhere for lunch."

Luna nodded. "Let's do that."

Itachi began to object, but Luna grabbed his hand and shut him up. Please use your imagination.

Lettuce seemed to think she was intruding, so she struck up a conversation with a now incredibly nervous Kisame.

"Where would you like to eat?" she asked him, trying her hardest not to pay attention to Luna and Itachi.

"I don't know, um, I don't really mind, whatever you'd like."

"Oh, no, really, I insist." Lettuce told him hurriedly.

"Let's just get sandwiches." Said Itachi, considerably better tempered now that he'd gotten what he'd come for. Not that he wouldn't mind more.

"Is that okay with you?" Kisame asked Lettuce, who nodded.

Luna smiled. "Then it's decided," She said, and still holding Itachi's hand, led the group along to the nearest…um…Quiznos. I don't know if they have Quiznos in Japan, but I don't particularly care right now. There just was one, okay?

Zetsu was staring at the partly painted wall, lost in his own thoughts. Eating Luna didn't work. But every time he looked at her, he still felt like he wanted to eat her. Or have her, or something. But being Zetsu and extremely dense in the area of relationships, he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. And so it was that Deidara sat down next to him.

Then, random hot guy no. one popped up and Hannah went 'squeeee' and they rode off into the sunset.

Deidara stared.

"Um… what just happened?" he asked Zetsu nervously.

"Random guy no. one popped up and rode off into the sunset with Hannah." Zets1 replied in monotone.

"Who's Hannah…?"

"Don't bother. Stephanie's messing with the script again."

"…Oh."

There was silence. Stephanie got irritated, and a flaming pastry of doom hit Zetsu in the face. Well, hit Zets2. Zets1 laughed.

"What the- GAH." Zets2 swore, and Zets1 gasped mockingly.

Deidara was doubled over with laughter. Then a croquet mallet fell from the sky and hit him.

Deidara threw clay at Stephanie who shut up all quick-like.

"So…" Deidara began the scripted dialogue. "Zetsu."

"Yeah?" Zets2 spat, still disgruntled form the whole flying pastry of doom thing. Zets1 was still giggling.

"You know, Itachi is still breathing down my neck about telling him you were eating Luna." Deidara glared at him a little bit, despite how stupid he looked with the burning pastry stuck to half his face.  
"I thought you didn't want me to eat her." Zets1 said.

"Why didn't you just stop me yourself?" Zets2 added, now attempting to eat said flaming pastry of doom.

"Um…I was out of clay." Deidara improvised, although he kept a store in his room at all times for emergencies.

Zetsu shrugged.

"So you aren't going to eat her, right?" Deidara asked.

"Not gonna eat her." Zets2 said.

"…Maybe." Zets1 said.

"Wait, come on, we weren't going to eat her, right?" Zets2 told him.

"Yeah, but…"

"Don't eat her, okay?" Deidara said, picking up the croquet mallet that had fallen on the floor.

"…"

"Okay?" Deidara fingered the mallet ominously, and Stephanie wondered if she oughtn't to have left it lying around.

"Okay." Zetsu confirmed, mostly to himself. "…"

"Yea?" Deidara asked, picking up on the dot dot dot.

"Then what do I do?"

"Huh?"

"If I don't eat her, what do I do?"

"I don't know, eat someone else, or do us all a favor and starve."

Zetsu scowled and flicked some flaky remnants of a certain flaming pastry in Deidara's direction. He was ignored.

"What do you mean," Deidara said after a minute. "What do you do?"

Zetsu looked over at him. "Well, what do I do if I don't eat her?"

"You said that. I still don't get it."

"…I still feel like eating her. So why can't I eat her?"

"Because you don't want her eaten?"

"Don't be silly, people exist to be eaten."

Deidara was silenced by that remark.

"Besides," Zets2 continued. "It's not exactly the same hunger."

"…The same hunger as what?"

"You know, the usual hunger. It's…different."

Deidara thought for a minute, looked back over at Zetsu. "Are you sure you don't like her?"

"I never said I didn't like her. Well, I've never tasted her, so I don't actually know, but…"

"No, no," Deidara interrupted impatiently. "_Like_ like her."

Zetsu stared at her blankly. Deidara groaned. "Please tell me you know what I'm talking about."

"Lacking the slightest clue."

Deidara considered this for a minute, lips pursed. Zets1 watched as Deidara tried to find words, and zets2 got distracted by a fly. Which once again looks really weird, because it's like he's got the evil eye. Although I think Itachi's eyes might be the evilest.

"Well…" Deidara began. "It's like… an attraction between two people…"

"Like you and Sasori?"

Deidara fell off the couch.

"No! Nothing like that!" he protested furiously as he got back up. "That was completely different!"

"But-"

"I respected him! _Respected _him! That's different!!!!" Deidara finalized heatedly. Zetsu shrugged. "Anyhow," Deidara continued. "It's more than that. Love is…" He searched for a word, and Zetsu supplied

"Irritating? Time consuming? Completely useless?"

And was completely ignored.

Deidara gave up. I mean, can you describe love? I don't know if Deidara can, but I can't.

"I don't know, it's…nice, I guess." He ended up saying.

"Okay…" Zets2 said.

"What then?" Zets1 interrupted.

"What when…?"

"You know, what do you do about it?" Zetsu said.

Deidara kind of choked, before realizing he didn't have to go that far into this. So he shrugged. "That's up to you. Most people get to know who they have feelings for, then get into stuff like holding hands or kissing."

Zetsu contemplated this a minute, and Deidara thought maybe he was in the clear, before Zetsu said, "What's kissing?"

Deidara gaped at him. He couldn't deal with this. Zetsu was the most ignorant git on the surface of this earth. At his age, he had no idea what kissing was? (I have no idea how old Zetsu is. But he's old enough, I should think.) "You are unbelievable." He told Zetsu.

Zetsu seemed to realize he was being insulted, but didn't respond. "Well, you know, don't you?" he said instead.

"Course I know!" Deidara nearly shouted. "There's not a blubbering idiot on the planet who doesn't know!"

Zetsu grabbed the mallet from Deidara's startled grip and whacked him on the back of his head. Which made Deidara respond in such a way that Zetsu had a large bruise on him flytrap the rest of the week.

"You're not going to tell me, are you," Muttered a sulky Zetsu.

"Hell no."

"Well then I'm never going to know." Zetsu made a pouty face. Deidara argued with himself, because he could either keep silent as a punishment for Zetsu not knowing already, or fix the fact that he didn't know already. Deidara was more used to punishing things, but if he kept quiet then I'd be stuck so he threw a DVD at Zetsu, which, rather non-coincidentally, hit his large bruise.

"Oww! What was that for!!?" Zetsu cursed, picking up the DVD from where it had fallen.

"Watch the DVD. There's kissing on that." Deidara did, however, fail to mention why he had such a thing. (Well, it's really the same as why he has romance novels.)

And so, because conveniently enough for me and the plot the room was once again unusually bare, Zetsu put the DVD into the suddenly there DVD player, and played the televised version of a romance novel Deidara had read at least five times.

Deidara lost patience with Zetsu asking when the kissing started about five minutes in and fast-forwarded.

"Look! Look!!!" Zetsu pointed triumphantly. "They _do _eat each other!!"

which earned him a pillow in the face. "They're not eating each other, it's called kissing."

Zetsu looked back and forth from Deidara and the couple on the screen. "But they're eating each other."

"No, they're not."

"See, look, he bit her lip."

"That's…urgh. It's kissing, okay?"

"…" Zetsu studied the screen. "You might be right."

"I am."

"So kissing is just mushing your mouths together?" Zetsu wrinkled his nose.

"Um…well, yeah, when you put it that way…"

"That's kind of disturbing."

"It's not really."

"What, how would you know?"

"I'll have you know I've kissed plenty of girls."

"What, no boys?"

Deidara threw the pillow at him so hard that even the pillow had a bruise for the next month. (Note- it is a pillow, meaning you have to throw it pretty darn hard just to get it to sting a bit.) (okay, I would like to point out now that in this fanficiton, Deidara has fallen for Luna and is therefore not gay. Don't get your hopes up, it was just teasing._ Dianna_.)

"You've got something, just there," Itachi said fondly, (O.o) gesturing towards Luna's nose. Which was at the moment topped with whipped cream from the sundae she had ordered. Yes, they had finished their sandwiches and had moved on to ice cream.

Luna blushed a bit, and reached up to wipe it off, but Itachi stopped her. He reached over and licked it off himself. (Yeah. Cliché if you wish, but it was too good a chance to pass up.)

Kisame sat, watching frustratedly and wondering why he couldn't be that smooth. (lol smooth Itachi.) Lettuce was watching as well, although out of the corner of her eye, she would never admit to intruding on such a personal moment. And her lack of attention explains why her spoon slipped and the ice cream stained her blouse.

"I- oh!" she blushed apologetically, and Kisame looked over. "Do you have a napkin or something?"

"Yeah- one minute-"

He reached over to the deserted table next to theirs and grabbed a small stack from the dispenser. Luna had stopped to watch as well, much to the dismay of Itachi, who had been working his way down to her lips. (If this were his world, he'd be there already.)

Try as they might, Lettuce and Kisame could not take all of the stain out with napkins and water. (Well, I mean, come on. Have you ever tried?)

Now, we all know Luna could have waved her wand and presto there'd be nothing on Lettuce's blouse, but she had other plans.

"I'm so sorry," Lettuce apologized. "But I really should get home and soak this in something." She stood up to leave, and Luna got up to whisper in Kisame's ear. You know, I always thought of Kisame as just having little holes in his head for ears… I honestly can't remember if he actually has ears.

"You ought to accompany her," Luna told him. (No reference intended, although…) "That way you can tell her you like her."

"But…" Kisame whispered back. "She can't like me, what's the point any way?"

"No, she likes you," Luna assured him. "You can see it in the way she looks about you."

Kisame hesitated a moment. "You sure?"

"Positive."

Luna sat back down, and Itachi raised an eyebrow to indicate he wanted to know what she'd said. Luna took his hand and didn't say anything.

Kisame, however, spoke up. "Ah, I could walk you, if you like," he offered, and Lettuce looked up from where she had been taking her bag off the corner of the chair. She seemed to argue with herself, and if you must know, she was arguing between saying no so as not to trouble him or take him up on the offer. And because it's no fun if she says no, she said

"I'd like that."

And blushed.

Luna watched as Kisame escorted Lettuce outside.

"What was the point of that?" Itachi asked.

"Alone time."

"Them or us?"

"Both, Itachi, both."

Kisame and Lettuce, having a hard time coming up with a topic, walked in an uncomfortable silence down the road, and Kisame found himself watching the way she moved. Every once and a while she'd look up at him, and he'd look away quickly.

And when Kisame could no longer take the awkward silence, he asked, "So… do you live in town?"

She nodded. "Yes, it's actually not far from here, no more than three blocks. You?"

"It's…a little ways off the beaten path." He replied.

And sure enough, they came across a quaint sort of cottage (she lives on her own by now) into the gate of which Lettuce guided them. Instead of departing at her door, as both had anticipated, Lettuce ended up inviting him in.

Kisame sat on a couch as Lettuce disappeared into her bedroom to change. He let his eyes wander around her living room, which had a few old newspaper clippings pinned to a corkboard, a small television, plenty of windows, and a coffee table.

Lettuce came out from down the hall, wearing a sea green long-sleeve shirt instead of the light pink blouse she had been sporting. Kisame thought it looked quite becoming, but then again, he thought that about her entire wardrobe. She walked over to sit on the couch alongside him.

"Er…you look nice." Kisame commented awkwardly.

"Thanks…" Lettuce seemed unsure how to react, and Kisame didn't have a clue either. So they sat, fidgeting quietly, until they both started at the same time.

"Um-"

"You go first."

"No, go ahead, it's not-"

"No, really, I insist..!"

Lettuce hesitated, and looked down. "It's just…um…"

"Hm?" Kisame prompted.

Lettuce mumbled something unintelligibly.

"I'm sorry," Kisame told her. "I didn't hear."

"I…like you."

Kisame didn't say anything a minute.

"…A lot."

Kisame stayed silent, just taking it in.

Lettuce stuttered. "I mean, it- it's okay, if you don't, you know, like me back, but-"

She was cut off, as Kisame had reached over and hugged her. "S'okay." He mumbled. "I like you too."

Can I take a moment, please, to say that I apologize for the lack-of-adorable in the last scene. But I simply refuse to make Kisame and Lettuce's scene anywhere near as cute as Luna and Itachi's, because this is still their fanficiton. I like to keep my main characters where they are. So, that's why it's not as good as it could have been.

Itachi and Luna ended up walking back towards the park, stopping because Luna liked the swings. And, because surely we can't pass up the chance, Itachi stationed himself behind her and proceeded to push her. (I can find no elegant way to put that.)

"Makes you remember, doesn't it." Luna sighed.

"What does?"

"Kisame and Lettuce. All through lunch I kept remembering when we used to have coffee together." Luna stared off into the distance, her hair flying out behind her.

"Mmmm." Itachi had, of course, been remembering the same, although he didn't say.

"Do you think it will work out between them?" she asked, as she came back towards him.

Itachi shrugged. "It might."

"Well, surely they have more chance than we did, and look where we are now," Luna laughed a bit, remembering the ever-present scowl she had gotten used to so long ago.

"I don't know," Itachi sighed. He caught her, swing and all, in his arms. "Lettuce isn't half as pretty as you."

"Hi, Luna!"

"Hello, Tobi," Luna greeted the excitable Tobi. "How are you?"

"Spiffing! You?" (Yes, I know Tobi probably wouldn't say 'spiffing' but I really, really, really wanted to make him say it.)

"Never better." Luna replied contentedly. "How's the spore toad?"

Low and behold, a few weeks ago, Tobi had indeed(e) found himself and African spore toad. It was half the size of a pinky nail, and the exact shade of lucency sported by a species of mushroom Tobi had found months ago, infact, it was back in part 2. (That's right, go back and read it… vous ha ha ha!) (vous ha ha is my very evil laugh. The kind of evil laugh is moi ha ha.)

"Holding out well, I put it in a larger jar because it looked so cramped in the other one." Tobi told her, although if you ask me he was being silly as the previous jar had a diameter of 8" anyhow for just one small spore toad.

"Have you decided what to feed it?"

"No, but it responds to Darjeeling tea."

"Hmm, really? I heard they prefer a soft jasmine…"

"We'll have a tea party for the spore toad!" Tobi suggested happily.

"I don't think it would be able to tell we were having a party," Luna said thoughtfully. "I haven't ever known one to notice it's surroundings extensively."

"Yes, then, we could have a tea party anyway."

"But we just had one the other day!"

"And it was fun!"

"It was," Luna agreed.

Nobody said anything for a bit, until Tobi said something.

"How did you get Zetsu and Deidara to have a tea party with you anyway?" he asked.

Luna thought back. "Well, I was drinking tea, and Zetsu came in, and I asked him if he wanted any, and then Itachi showed up and joined us, and then Deidara did too."

Tobi was quiet a minute. (Which never happens. Kind of like Itachi beaming… lol part 6.)

"Why was Zetsu in you room?"

"What?"

"Why was Zetsu in your room?" Tobi repeated, being the good spy he is.

Luna opened her mouth to answer, but found she did not know. "I'm sure I don't know," She said in an airily surprised tone.

"Zetsu has been acting suspicious lately." Tobi mentioned, having noticed, because ever since part one he decided he was a spy and therefore had to watch the Akatsuki more closely. He misses loads of stuff but somehow ends up with important stuff, I guess that's part of being a good spy. 'Sides. It helps the plot.

"Suspicious?" Luna asked. "How?"

"He stares at you greedily."

Luna didn't answer right away. "Oh," was all she said.

Later that evening, Luna was contemplating what Tobi had said. She thought it a bit far-fetched that Zetsu had any attraction to her, or anyone, for that matter, but she supposed it was worth keeping an eye on him.

Speaking of which, at the moment he was reading one of Deidara's magazines. Which was unusual for Zetsu, who was usually reading two of them. Deidara was glaring at him, having still not gotten over Zetsu's poking fun at him. Konan was flipping through a magazine of… gasp _her own_, being the only Akatsuki member besides Deidara to bother with them. Although she only got once a month subscriptions and threw them away right after she read them, instead of collecting them like Deidara. In case you are wondering, the mailman does not come up to the cave and drop of the magazine, that would be pretty dumb because then everyone could find you. They had a mailbox in the middle of the woods with a path running towards it so the mailman could find it. It was a pain getting to, but safer. Now I forget what I was talking about. Let's see…ok.

Luna relieved her glance from the Akatsuki members lingering in the lounge, and back to the fire. She really ought to head back to her room, chances were she'd be late for when Itachi came to visit her like he had done so many nights before.

Zets2, deeply engrossed in an article on a war in wheretheheckistan, was roused at long last.

"Psst!" Zets1 hissed at him. "She's leaving!"

"Yeah, one minute…" Zets2 mumbled, not really paying attention even though I described him as roused a paragraph or two ago.

"No, now." Zets1 batted the magazine out of Zets2's hand, which probably looked really funny. Take a moment to think about that- heheh.

"What? Oh, yes."

Zetsu got up, and being all quiet and attracting no attention, as Konan didn't care and Deidara was now looking pointedly away from him.

Or that's what he thought.

Itachi reached up to knock on the familiar door that led to Luna and the night ahead to share, but it fell open at his touch. She usually kept it locked when she was in, so maybe she wasn't there. He let himself in anyway. Confirmed, she was out. He thought maybe he'd wait, or possibly go find her. She was probably in the Lounge, if not in that ridiculous cave (that once saved her from being found fatally, Itachi.) or out on a walk. Thinking of how much trouble it would be if she was out on a walk and got lost, he noticed her wand lying on the bedside stand that held a moving photograph of her father and the familiar chess-rook castle they had lived in. if she got lost without her wand, then he really would have to go find her. He supposed he had better go see if she was just in the lounge after all.

He turned to leave. On second thought, he turned and brought her wand. If she was going to take a walk, she might as well bring it. (Even though she wasn't. Itachi is simply getting caught up in thoughts. He's so protective, isn't he. Awww.)

Rounding a bend on the (oh yes,) long and winding road that lead from the lounge to Luna's door, Itachi stopped. He had to do a quick double take, because what he was seeing didn't make all that much sense. Luna was cornered by a…planty-looking Zetsu (that's where I usually insert an adjective but I couldn't think of one.), who was, apparently, attempting to...

No one kisses Luna but Itachi. (And possibly her father. But that's a different sort of kiss.) And that was all that was running through Itachi's head.

Wand, wand, where was her wand? Duh, she'd left it back on her bedstand. How could she be so dumb? She'd gotten so accustomed to the Akatsuki that she had forgotten she was living with a bunch of murderers. Or molesters, as the case seemed to be.

Wait, there was her wand, but oddly enough it was being hurled through the air, knocking Zetsu over. (A stick of wood.) Ducking over a dazed Zetsu, she bent down and picked up her wand. She looked over at who had thrown it, all though she had a notion she knew who it was. She was not disappointed, as Itachi stood seething in the hallway. She had seen him this angry on the rare occasion, the most memorable of which being the time those long months ago when Kisame had tried to kill her. And, if you as the good readers who don't read chapters out of order remember properly, Itachi is incredibly angry. (Well, come on.)

Just then, to outline how incredibly weak this climax is, a few butterflies fluttered by, landing on Zetsu. Because he is a large plant and butterflies land on plants. I think. But no, they landed on him because they weren't really butterflies.

"Katsu!" Came a voice from around a corner in the opposite direction from where Itachi had come.

"Crap." Muttered Zetsu, shutting his flytrap with a snap, his curse lost in the clamor of the explosion. Itachi, utterly bewildered, was joined quickly by a rather stunned Luna. (Well you would be too.) Itachi clasped protective arms around her, which she gratefully received.

And they stood back to watch as Zetsu, burned but not fatally wounded, not really wounded much at all, they were small butterflies and his flytrap is awesome and protective-like, got really annoyed at my incredibly stupid run on sentence. And so I simply shot another flaming pastry of doom at him. He dodged it, the ass.

"What were you doing!" Deidara howled at him.

"You said I should!"

"Did not!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow accusingly at Deidara. "You planned this little adventure?"

"I didn't!" Deidara spat frustratedly. "Zestu's the idiot!"

"Dunno about that." Zetsu muttered. Deidara pretended not to hear.

"Luna, could you please…?"

"I'm on it."

In about the time it takes to utter a few words a wave a stick, Deidara and Zetsu both had been silenced and body binded.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're both to blame." Itachi frowned. "Deidara, what am I going to do with you, this is the second time."

Deidara mouthed furiously what looked like words inappropriate for this fanficiton, while Zetsu struggled in vain to close his flytrap.

And because this plot has really gone to the dogs, kind of like question 69 on _**the evil questionnaire**_, at this point Kisame walked in, whistling.  
He stopped, and stared at the odd scene. "Um…what?" He said.

Nobody answered, so he shrugged. "Kay then. Guess I don't want to know anyway."

"How'd it go?" Luna asked suddenly, as there was nothing Zetsu or Deidara could do anyhow and she might as well ask.

Kisame simply grinned and walked away.

"That's good," Luna said happily. "I'm glad he made it."

"It didn't say _anything_," Itachi said, rather charly-the-unicorn-esque, because as far as he's concerned Kisame and magical leopluradons have about the same brain capacity.

"That's okay," Luna assured him. "You can tell by how he looks."

Itachi shook his head. "How is there a difference?"

"Well," Luna said, smiling at him, "you look different than back when I had just met you."

Itachi grinned. "You're jut as beautiful as when I met you."

Luna blushed.

The two walked off happily, the two gagged and bound prisoners slipping from their mind.

They ended up sitting there, glaring at each other in silence, until Konan found them and dragged them into the lounge so everyone could laugh at them. Which had nothing to do with revenge, she just thought they looked funny.

Zetsutemnagezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemangezetsutemange

And that's where I end it because I can't think of a better ending. Now I swear I'm going to explain every inside joke there is in there.

'lol, smooth Itachi' is a joke between Dianna and I because back in part three, Itachi suddenly becomes all smooth right before he kisses Luna, with the confident pick up lines and such. So yes that's what it is.

'no reference intended' refers too (that sounds funny) the song 'you'll accomp'ny me' that Dianna enjoys (I like it too) by Bob Segar.

Wheretheheckistan is taken from Jim Benton, producer of Just Jimmy, Franny K. Stein, the most well known 'happy bunny' and my favorite, 'Dear Dumb Diary.' Taken actually from Dear Dumb Diary. I always thought it sounded funny. Anyhow, it's his, not mine, and that's where I got it from. Go read the books, they're hilarious.

Let it be known to the world that I didn't come up with the brilliant boomful butterflies. I read about them (lol Hermione) in Rockcrab's fan fiction, Deidara and Tobi. I was told I could use them, so I did. I like them.

_**The evil questionnaire,**_ yes yes. Very evil indeede. Actually it's incredibly amusing, but still. A friend of mine, sophie, wrote it, (I helped a little, but I don't like to take credit for it because the stuff she wrote is pretty perverted.) it consists of questions that range from nonsensical, my favorite being (No. 27- what is your answer?) to incredibly perverted, I refuse to copy any of them down. but I have made many a friend take the quiz, so I havea out six or seven answers under each of the fifty questions. It's awesome yet EVIL.

Charly the unicorn? If you don't know who charly the unicorn is, I beg of thee to visit youtube and look it up. It's the only way. (It's short.)

Incase it sounded suspicious, Zetsu didn't actually manage to kiss Luna. And I know there was much lack of detail on position and emotion with Luna and Zetsu, but I was blanking and didn't want to deal with it. please just imagine what you think the scene would have been like, because I can't think right now.

And yes, finally the topic that I'm sure you're on tiptoes about, 'lol part six.'

Why did I put that there, huh? Didn't I say this would be the end?

I LIED!!!!!!!!

Part six is already written. All the way. It's much better than this, it's got a thought-out plot, plenty of adorable, and it's illustrated… although you won't really get to see those unless you know Dianna. It was her birthday present, I'll get into that more when I post.

But that means there's one more.

But that one really will be the last, it was designed to wrap up the series happily. And it did. I am insanely proud of it, and I always feel like I'm boasting about it. which I really am. Forgive me…

Anyway, please review, I may not post part six if I don't think anybody read this… (empty threat)

If Dianna says post it I'll post it. it's hers. She told me I could, but I thought maybe since it'll be the last I could persuade some reflections out of you people.

Anyway, bye for now. You haven't heard the last of me…


	10. Accompaniment

Yes, it's part six!!

Disclaimer? I don't own characters etc. I also don't own this story. This story belongs to Dianna, as given to her for her birthday. Happy late birthday, Dianna! I do hope you enjoy this, I don't feel like putting much up here so I'll explain everything at the bottom.

Except this one- did you know that, in Latin, pain is Dolores? It's just a short trip to Pein... and there was much laughter.

NOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEAS

Itachi had never really thought about it before. It was just there, nothing more than something to be brushed aside irritatingly. He had never even considered the idea that one day he might wish it were him. That would have been unbelievable. But then again, so was the idea that he would fall in love at all.

But the more time that passed, the more Itachi thought about it. Maybe it was more appealing than he had made it out to be. Crazy as it sounds, maybe it meant something. So maybe he'd ask.

Nok. Nok.

Before the third knock had sounded, the door had opened. There she was, pretty as a rose, but more like a daisy, sitting on a light purple couch with her wand out. Luna Lovegood. She waved him inside, the door swinging shut as he made his way to sit beside her.

"How've you been, since I saw you last," Itachi greeted her.

"When was that, fifteen minutes ago?" Luna smiled at him. Itachi smirked inwardly. (Teehee ingrown smirk) Today had been one of Leader-san's (Dolores', lol.) infamous 'Akatsuki dinners', created, as par part one, to increase the chance of the Akatsuki working well together. Itachi had stopped by his room first, because earlier that day he had lost him hairbrush, (oh wheeeere is his hairbrush) and he had thought he might know where it was. Unfortunately, he had been wrong.

"Fifteen minutes, fifteen years, you're still not there," Itachi told her, pulling at one of her bedecked ears teasingly.

Luna's smile widened despite herself. "I've been just fine," she assured him. "You?"

"Still can't find my hairbrush."

"You know, you could just get another one." (To Safeway!)

"I liked the old one."

"Well, then, I guess you ought to keep looking."

"Maybe Deidara stole it, he was always jealous…"

"Oh, leave it be," Luna told him. "It'll turn up eventually."

"Unless Deidara stole it. Then I'll never get it back."

"Deidara has fifteen assorted hairbrushes. Why does he need yours?"

"Good point."

They sat in silence a bit, neither felt the need for conversation. Itachi took a long lock of her hair in his hands, he liked her hair. It was soft, oddly so. And it always smelled like her.

"You know I love you, mm?" Itachi said suddenly. Luna leaned against him.

"Yes." She told him quietly. "But I like it when you tell me, anyhow." She was really quite beautiful. She took hold of his arm. "I love you as well."

Itachi smiled at her. (Wow. Five installments and that's still weird to type.) "You know," He began, but was interrupted by a loud banging on Luna's door.

"ITACHI!" Came Konan's voice from behind the door. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

Itachi groaned. Great timing, Konan. Luna flicked her wand, and the door swung open. Konan was looking distinctly disheveled, and rather grouchy for it. "I can't find my hairbrush," she told him stoutly, "So I'm using yours. Where is it?"

"I don't know." Itachi told her frusteratedly. "Lost it."

"Then go find it!"

"You find yours, I'm not getting up."

"ITACHI! FIND. YOUR. HAIRBRUSH. NOW!" Konan screeched.

"Okay, okay," Itachi muttered. "God, who's time of the month is it."

"I heard that!" She hollered after him as he slouched down the hall. She turned to Luna. "Men," she sighed, and turned away to go…do something.

Luna blinked. She thought she knew why Pein had excused her from being absent at dinner that night.

Last night hadn't gone entirely according to plan. Itachi, having not found his hairbrush yet, had to face Konan's pms wrath, and hadn't been able to go back to see Luna. Which wrecked his night in itself, not to mention that not having his hairbrush seemed to exaggerate the following morning's bedhead and beleaguer him into asking to borrow one of Deidara's brushes. And whenever Itachi needed to borrow one of Deidara's hairbrushes, Deidara got a smug look upon his face that made the whole thing so much worse. (he has ingrown smugness)

But the funny thing is that it didn't matter anymore, because time had come and gone, and Itachi was back in Luna's room, talking with her like they had taken to doing every night.

"What do you think?" Itachi asked her as Luna took off a borrowed set of Itachi's headphones.

"I like it," She said. "It's well written and performed. The beat is my favorite."

Itachi smiled. (Still weird). He had finally gotten around to having Luna listen to a few Bob Segar tunes; somehow he hadn't gotten around to it until then. (Which I find hard to believe, but mind the plot.) What she'd just been listening to was 'You'll accomp'ny me'. (Not coincidence I chose that one, Dianna.)

"There are a few more songs in particular I think you'd like," Itachi said, opening back up the CD case. "And then maybe the Rolling Stones." (BFE!)

"The Rolling Stones?"

"Similar. And similar to them is the talking heads… I don't like them as much, though."

"I think I've heard of them," Luna said. "Although I don't know much about muggle music in general. I used to listen to Algenia Foghorn, she had such a strong voice… although she wasn't particularly popular. I never knew why."

"Well I had no idea there was music that wasn't muggle music, so you're a step ahead anyhow," Itachi commented, tucking the CD back into his robe. (Yay for inside pockets!) "You know what?" he said, standing up from the cozy spot in front of the fire he had occupied, "Let's go on a walk."

Luna nodded. "It's nice out tonight. Let's." she waved her wand, and a knit scarf took itself off the wall where it hung and wrapped itself around her neck. "Do you have one?" she asked, gesturing towards the scarf she wore. "It's cold out, you might want one."

Itachi grinned at her. "Can you elongate that one?" (Can't remember what song, but there's a few lyrics somewhere that say 'I've got my love to keep me warm.')

And they wound their way through the Akatsuki caves, to the back opening, the one that emptied out into the woods, wearing the same scarf. Luna had charmed it to fit them both, but they stayed close by each other anyway.

They wandered a bit, then stopped in a clearing, sitting on a dead log. (The only good log is a dead log) Luna was looking up at the stars, but Itachi was looking elsewhere. Surely by now I don't even have to say where.

"You like stars?" He asked her, as she gazed skywards.

Luna nodded. "I love trying to find constellations in them. Each one has a story, I find that so fascinating." She wound her hand in with his.

Itachi glanced at the night sky. "How do you find anything up there?" He asked. "It's a bunch of glowing dots."

"Yes, but there are so many." Luna sighed. "Sometimes it makes me feel small."

"Yeah." Itachi said after a minute. "I think I might know what you mean."

They sat there on the (dead) log, staring up at the sky together.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Luna said, her gaze never leaving the starry eternity.

"Nnn?"

"The hills by Ottery St Catchpole. When we were watching the clouds." Luna closed her eyes. "It was so long ago."

"Yeah…" Itachi murmured. "It's been forever. Nearly a year, isn't it?"

Luna laughed and nodded. "You'd never know."

"We've been together a long time, then." Itachi smiled to himself. (Still weird.) "Don't you think-"

"Hiiii!"

Luna and Itachi both turned around. Tobi was staring happily back at them. I think. Damn mask…

"Tobi?" groaned Itachi.

"Hello, Tobi." Luna said. "What brings you out so late?"

"Oh!" Tobi said, as if he'd just remembered something. "I was on my way back, I found another one!"

"Another one?"

"Another what?"

"African spore toad," Luna told a bewildered Itachi.

"Only, I don't think It's very healthy. I don't know what to do with it, so I was going to get you to come see it." Tobi told her worriedly.

"Oh, dear." Luna stood up. "I'm sorry, Itachi, I really ought to…"

Itachi shook his head frusteratedly. "It's fine. Go ahead. We'll talk tomorrow night."

She smiled. "Thanks, Itachi." And she was off through the darkness, led by Tobi, leaving the scarf with Itachi. Who sighed, and got up to go look for his hairbrush. What was it with the Akatsuki and interrupting him? He sure wasn't going to take this again. But he'd let it pass this time.

Having given up searching for privacy, which Itachi had deemed impossible with the Akatsuki around, late afternoon found Luna and Itachi sitting by the roughly created fireplace in the Akatsuki lounge. Nearly everyone was there, but no one was paying even the slightest attention to anyone else, so it was probably just as private as anywhere. Kakuzu was busy watching already-dry paint, you know the spot, Kisame was reading one of Deidara's magazines, Konan was arguing with Zets1 and Zetst2 over what to watch on TV, the three of them each wanting something different. Hidan was in a corner stabbing himself happily, and Tobi was being taught chess by Deidara. Who only knew half the rules in the first place. Pein was nowhere to be found, as he hasn't even been mentioned since part one, he tends to shy off the screen because I never have anywhere to put him.

"You know, it seems fuller in here than it usually is," Luna said, looking around at the busy cavern.

Itachi shook his head. "I've seen it much worse. You just haven't been in here enough."

"True," Luna said. "Maybe it's just me."

"It's just you."

Luna sighed and shook her head. "It's hard to believe I still haven't seen the room at it's fullest."

"It's also hard to believe there are things called nargles living in mistletoe."

Luna nudged his ankle playfully with her own. "They're there."

"I know, I know," Itachi told her, his hands up in surrender. "Them and the wrackspurts."

If Luna picked up on the sarcasm, she didn't react. Instead she settled in closer to him and watched the fire crackle. Itachi wondered how she'd gotten so cute.

"Been thinking," He said suddenly, and Luna looked up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever thought about…"

"Itachi!" Kisame yelled into Itachi's ear. Apparently he'd finished his magazine.

"Go away, I'm busy." Itachi shot him an angry look.

"Not this time, you put it off last night. You promised me we'd play ping-pong."

"Yeah, so you'd stop asking. I had my fingers crossed."

"THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"

"Tobi wants to play ping-pong!" Tobi said, having given up on chess and come over to the sofa.

"No way, Tobi, you suck at ping-pong!" Kisame pouted.

"So does Hidan, but he beat you!"

"That was a fluke, everyone knows that!"

"Nope, I think you just suck."

"Wait, are we playing ping-pong?" Deidara had followed Tobi. "Can I play?"

"No!" yelled Kisame. "I'm playing Itachi, that's it!"

"No, Tobi's playing too."

"If Tobi plays, it's only fair that I play as well."

"We're the Akatsuki, we don't have to be fair!"

Itachi had a very, very large headache. Nothing was even remotely how he wanted it. How was he supposed to deal with this? Would they ever have a moment of peace? Hell with it, there's no better time than the present. He grabbed Luna's arm to catch her attention.

"MARRY ME, DAMNIT!"

The room fell silent. (The TV hadn't even been turned on yet, for bickering.)

Luna's face was bright red, although she didn't look upset. Which was good. She just sort of nodded, speechless.

Itachi, caught up in sudden elation, didn't notice a minute that Konan had started clapping. Hidan wolf whistled from amongst his bloody corner, and Kisame was trying not to laugh. (Although if you ask me, he's the one who understands this the most.) Deidara had gone off to sulk somewhere, and Zetsu was hiding broodingly in his flytrap. Tobi was beaming, although with the dumb mask it was effing hard to tell. Kakuzu, the only Akatsuki member who hadn't noticed anything was going on between Luna and Itachi, was sputtering nonsense before finally going into a small coma for shock. (I mean, come on. You can't blame he guy, Itachi just proposed. To Luna Lovegood, no less. Who in all the worlds woulda seen that one coming??)

Luna buried her face in Itachi's robe. Itachi, rather satisfied with himself, ignored the clamor around him and smirked at the fire, his arm around her.

Later that night, Luna was in her cave, (that sounds all primitive.) lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She was still shocked from the night's events, as many times as she told herself, it was still difficult to fully believe.

She was engaged.

Wow.

It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it before, but she had never really pinned Itachi down as the type to marry. To think that he loved her enough to set aside previous Ideals. She blushed to herself and rolled over to face the wall.

She certainly couldn't deny that she was happy about it.

There was a knock at the door. She sat up quickly, grabbing her wand off the bedstand to let in her visitor. Who she was almost certain was Itachi.

And sure enough, it was. (What do you know? rolls eyes) You could see he was trying not to smile, but failing quite pitifully. Which, of course, made Luna smile.

Which, thankfully, broke the thin Ice created from slight awkwardness of the night's turn of events. Infact, it broke so much Ice that some guy in Afghanistan who was ice-skating fell into the water and got eaten by a polar bear. Um, a drowning polar bear. It occurs to me that I just strayed from the plot and broke the mood in one incredibly spontaneous tangent. My mood-breaking strand continues! My apologies, on with the story.

Itachi made his way over beside Luna, giving her a swift hug as he sat alongside her.

"Good evening," Luna greeted him. "How have you been since I saw you last?"

"What was that, half an hour ago?"

"Half an hour, half a decade. It doesn't matter, we'll be together longer than both combined now."

Itachi, already failing miserably, was, for an Itachi, positively beaming. (Which isn't Tobi beaming. It's Itachi beaming. Which is much less, but still rare. Not that Tobi beaming is rare. Ok sorry.) "Yeah," he told her, "So don't go dying before then."

She laughed a bit. "I promise. Now you."

"I'll try my best."

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, evil organization, constantly risking life."

"I'll shield you."

"Then I promise."

Luna smiled, satisfied.

"Oh, yes." Itachi said, having remembered something. "I wanted to say, I'm sorry I didn't get you a ring."

Luna shook her head, still smiling. "I don't need one."

"Yes, but I do have this." He took from somewhere in his robe (Yay for inside pockets!) a daisy chain crown.

Luna laughed a bit as he placed it on her head. "Where did you get that?"

"Tobi made it. He said I should have something to give you."

Luna reached up to touch the circlet of little white flowers. "I love it."

Itachi smirked inwardly. (Again.)

"But you know what?" Luna said, resting her head against Itachi's shoulder. "I have everything I could ever want, right here."

NOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEASNOIDEAS

All right! You've read it! And are probably confused about a few things, so here goes.

I expect most of you got this one, but just incase, 'oh wheeere is his hairbrush' was a reference toward Larry the cucumber's silly song. ...The one that goes 'oh wheeeere is my hairbrush.' Veggie tales.

'To Safeway' I can't even explain properly. Dianna and I were messing around and it became an inside joke, somehow. So that's all it is.

'You'll accompn'y me' is a song by Bob Segar, as I assume you've grasped, which Dianna always thought was a good song for Luna and Itachi. Apparently, coincidentally enough, she also thought it would make a decent proposal in itself. (I didn't know until after she read this. Well, she told me, but I must not have been listening. Sorry Dianna...)

BFE is 'Beatles For Everyone,' which is my note that I think the Beatles are better than the rolling stones. (If you agree, say so!!)

Review, please, although I've given up, really.

Oh, yes.

And this may be the last one

But I already wrote another short one

Because I have no control.

However, that was a while ago as I have been lazy and have not posted this, and I haven't even been scheming for a new one, so I think I can honestly say that part seven will be the last one. I'll post it if asked.

WAIT WAIT ONE MORE THING

because Lumos Solaria is such a magnificent human being, she wrote a wedding scene for these two. which happens to be ten times better than the sucky one you'll read if you look for the next chapter. It's seriously one of the coolest things EVER. so let's give her a hand, even if you're too lazy to just wander over to the search box and type in 'Weddings, and Other Such Nonsense' under story title. (It's in my favorites, too, if that's easier.) DOOOO IIIIIIIIT. :3 ok done pestering you. (doooo iiiiiit)


	11. When the world fits inside of your arms

Nobody told me to post this

But I'm posting it anyway. Because I can

Because someone might read it

And what does this fanficiton exist for if not the pleasure of the readers, whatever scant readers I may have attracted.

Well, I don't own anything, it's all someone else's, and the characters are out of character, and the whole things is generally dead, but I had fun with it.

And if you hadn't noticed, I did change the rating, because some actions are rather...suggestive...or really, very suggestive. And also I've noticed there's a little language, but not a whole lot. Just thought I should say, so for those of you who really dislike anything even slightly related to 'certain topics' don't freak and report me or something.

Um...yeah. Go ahead and read it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASONBWAHAHAHAHAHADIANNA'SGOTASON

"…You may kiss the bride."

_Finally_.

As much fun as it was to stand still whilst an old guy talked about loving each other forever, (and as much as he liked the sound of that), this was still the part he had most been looking forward to.

He reached over to Luna's face and lifted her thin yet in-the-way veil, placed a hand at her waist and leaned in to kiss her.

She got there first.

On slight tiptoes, she pressed her lips slowly against his, as if cherishing the moment, one arm wrapped tightly around him in a pleasing sort of way, her hand entwined happily in his hair.

Itachi could have sworn it was the best kiss he had ever received.

From the moment their lips touched, he couldn't hear the applause nor the happy sighs from the audience.

Yes, the audience. Who the hell would turn up for Itachi's wedding? Well, no one. And that's why Luna had been in charge of the invitations. The Akatsuki were all invited, although the only ones that showed up at all were Tobi and Deidara, who had been dragged unwillingly along. (He was at the moment sitting on the farthest seat from the happy couple, sulking for all he was worth.) She had also sent out invitations to her father, (who was displeased at the first thought of his daughter taken from him, but then again, he supposed, she wasn't his anymore even if she wasn't married.) All of the Weasleys, who had always been kind to her, and to many members of the DA, including Harry, Neville, Hermione, Hannah, (hehe) and a Ravenclaw girl that nobody recognized, and all of their families. (In the rebellion, year seven, Luna had saved her from a horrid sort of punishment and brought her to the Room of Requirement, and they had become friendly.)

Ms Weasley had taken charge of the decorations, unhappily toning them down to not completely magical as the members of the Akatsuki that might or might not show could possibly be slightly freaked. Although it didn't stop her from making the cake rather tippier than muggles might have managed, and the dance floor for the reception rather fancier. With music that played from nowhere. But that was the reception, which came later. (wait! wait! this isn't what happened! go read the fanfiction Weddings, and Other Such Nonsense by Lumos Solaria for the real story. It's amazing.)

Right now, Itachi was busy kissing Luna. Damn, she smelled good. It occurred to him that he could screw the reception and stay here all night, but, (except a certain freak, as gone over in part 3,) nothing lasts forever. And so the kiss ended, and the party began.

Luna had promised him they could leave early, because he didn't want to be bothered by anyone or anything, really, regarding Tobi, but she wanted to stay a little while.

The music from nowhere started, and Luna closed her eyes. "I love this song," she said, although she felt as if she could love anything right then. She grabbed Itachi's hand, and he found himself out on the dance floor, his arms around her as they moved to the music. Which he was fine with.

Eventually other guests waded onto the dance floor, atleast, the few there were, and at some point Kisame showed up with Lettuce. Kakuzu might have slipped in at one point too, but Itachi didn't really notice, because He was still dancing with Luna. And he refused to divert his attention unless something better came along, the chance of that being zero.

And as it began to get dark, Itachi simply picked Luna off the ground and carried her out of the lighted area in the hills of Ottery St Catchpole where they had been so recently married. She was as light as anything, but probably because Itachi's just creepily strong. Being part of the Akatsuki and all qualifies you for that.

Luna laughed. She hugged Itachi to her, before requesting she be let down. Having finally escaped the congratulations and goodbyes, they walked hand in hand down the (you guessed it) long and winding road. It was peaceful and dark out, and relatively warm, although the breeze gave a comfortable coolness to the night. The stars shone brighter than Itachi had ever seen them, and nothing could spoil this moment.

And contrary to my mood-breaking streak, nothing did.

They hadn't told anybody where they were headed, they didn't want anyone to know where they were, they didn't want anyone to be even on their minds during the next two weeks or so. Hell, Itachi wanted to stay a month.

They had left their packed belongings at Luna's father's house, and so that was where they stopped, walking through the overgrown garden by the moonlight, the door swinging open with a click as they approached.

Picking up her lightweight (as charmed so, it was overflowing) bag, Luna glided over to where Itachi had his trunk, also charmed by Luna. "Hold on tight," She told him.

More than happy to obey, he put his arm safely around her shoulder, and Luna dissapparated, bringing Itachi with her.

I have no clue whatsoever whether or not Muggles can participate in side-along apparation. But that's how they arrived.

In Hawaii.

Criticize for lack-of-imagination if you like, but I visited Hawaii recently, and when I was imagining some scenes to come, I imagined them taking place at the hotel I stayed at. So that's where they're staying, the Westin from Hawaii.

However uncomfortable apparation may be, Itachi didn't particularly mind, because it was over in half a second and he was still holding Luna. They were, as stated above, in Hawaii, right by the Westin. Once again, deal.

Itachi, refusing to let go, led the way to their room, a couple floors up and to the right. His arm still attached to Luna, He opened the room by putting down his baggage. He wouldn't let her enter, however, and put down his luggage as to sweep her off her feet and carry her over the threshold. And finally he had to let her go, to close the door and put his luggage somewhere out of the way. "You haven't escaped," he told her as his arms fell from around her. "As soon as I sort this out, I'm latching onto you and never coming off. You're spending tonight in my arms, got it?"

She laughed, and told him by all means was he to never let go.

Exploring a bit, it was a roomy sort of…room… with a kitchen, living room with a couch and coffee table, a small balcony looking out over at the front of the Hotel from the side, a large bathroom that would gladly accommodate two people, and a bedroom with one double-sized bed. Which was fine with her…

The sun had long left the sky, and they were all alone, no one even knew where they were.

Things like that put thoughts in your head.

Itachi came into the bedroom, where Luna had been looking out the windows to the balcony. (There were two doors to the balcony- living room and bedroom. Curtains on each.) "Hey," He greeted her.

"Hello," she agreed. "I love this view." She latched her hand onto his and gestured out to the palm trees, the leaves lever with their balcony.

"I don't know," Itachi said, drawing the curtains so the outside world stayed outside. "I like things better in here." (We can close the curtains, pretend like there's no world outside)

Luna turned from the drawn curtains to Itachi. "I would have to agree with that," she told him, and Itachi took her in his arms, pulling her as close as he could manage. "I'm so glad you're mine," He murmured into her ear.

She pushed back from his grip, just enough so her lips reached his. "Au contraire," she told him quietly. Her breath could have been his. "You are mine." Itachi couldn't stand it anymore, he tightened his close grip on her warm figure.

She reached for his lips again, but he held up a finger to stop her. "You are my bride, correct?" He asked her, taking his finger down and looking straight in her startlingly close blue eyes.

She nodded, smiling to the way it sounded. Itachi brought his face, if possible, even closer to hers.

"So may I do as I wish with you?"

Luna's grip tightened nervously. (Heheh tux)

Not to say she hadn't seen this coming, but she couldn't stop the blush creeping over her cheeks, nor her racing heart.

She nodded anyway.

And now we break for an Akatsuki check-up. (I can read your mind. I _know_ you're disappointed.)

Kisame was bored half to death.

He had nothing to do.

Normally when he had nothing to do, he bothered Itachi into playing ping-pong, or chess or checkers or air-hockey.

Someday he'd win.

Someday…

But now Itachi wasn't there, he was off to some corner of the world with Luna. And so there he was, flipping blandly through an old issue of Deidara's news magazine. He never read them anyway, it didn't make sense for him to even get them, but he did. The only reason Kisame was able to be reading it was that Deidara hadn't done anything all night. He had been sitting in the same over-stuffed chair all night, staring into space. He'd snap when you came to close, and give you a death glare if you spoke at him. He obviously wasn't taking the marriage well.

'Well,' Kisame thought, 'least it's not me.' and it was true, he still had lettuce, they'd danced a bit at the party. Well, neither of them were really good at dancing, s they ended up sitting at a deserted table talking all night. Long after Itachi had left. But the party had died down, as all things but Hidan do, and they'd said their goodbyes.

He'd come home to find Zetsu hiding in his flytrap. He'd knocked on the outside, which proved dangerous as he almost lost an arm. So Zetsu was sulking too. No one else really seemed to care, Leader-san was off plotting revenge against something trivial like wearing stripes and plaid, (Itachi didn't think Kisame knew. But he had his ways…) Hidan and Kakuzu were arm wrestling for some reason, and the whole Akatsuki knew they both hated arm wrestling, so they might have gone insane, Konan was lounging in front of the TV watching friends, and Tobi was playing paddle-ball in a corner. The little bastard was good at it too.

Nothing was going to change here for too long. So Kisame just got up and left. He'd take a shower and turn in for the night. Maybe tomorrow he'd go into town, take a look at the pastry shop.

Itachi blinked groggily. Sun was streaming through the still closed curtains, and the clock on the bedstand told him it was late morning. He rolled over, Luna was already awake, she was reading beside him. Upon noticing he was awake, she smiled.

"Good morning," she told him, and despite his status of not-fully-awake, Itachi smiled back. He shifted a little more so his arm was around her.

"Good morning." He replied sleepily. He closed his eyes, being very comfortable, but Luna shifted.

"I'm going to get up," She told him. "I wanted to wait for you."

"Nah, stay here." Itachi mumbled.

She laughed, but gently lifted his arm from around her. "No, I really need a shower." Itachi stayed underneath the sheets until well after he'd heard the shower turn on. But eventually he did drag himself out of bed, and proceeded to use the automatic coffee maker to make…coffee… (No, he made orange juice, wattaya think?)

The shower turned off, and he heard footsteps from the bathroom to the bedroom. "Do you want some coffee?" He called to her, marveling at the fact that she was there. Which seemed like quite the miracle, even still.

"Yes, thank you!" She called back, and a minute later she came out fully dressed, wearing muggle clothing that Itachi thought suited her well, it was a pastel sundress with a floral pattern on the skirt.

They sat together, at the table stationed in between the kitchen counter that divided the living room and kitchen and the living room itself. Neither said anything at first, simply being together seemed enough right then. But eventually lack of conversation fades.

"What do we do today?" Luna said, as they hadn't quite gotten that far in the plan. (The current plan was- spend as much time together as possible.)

Itachi shrugged. "I haven't the faintest clue. We could to some sort of sight seeing, or we could just stay at the hotel."

Luna sipped her coffee thoughtfully. "Let's explore the hotel today," She suggested. "It's always nice to know where we're staying. Harder to get lost, I guess."

"Impossible." Itachi shook his head. "You won't get lost because I'm not letting you out of my sight for three seconds running."

"In which case I will do my very best to run away so you'll watch me even closer."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Why not just ask?"

Having no answer, Luna took another sip of her coffee, although she couldn't dissolve the smile that seemed to lie behind every corner these days.

And the rest of the morning rushed past, and it was the early afternoon. Lunch had been conquered, citrus and all, (Itachi had attempted to make a smoothie but had failed miserably.) and the two had walked down every hall and path they could find together. (It's a rather large hotel.)

It was quite warm out, despite the season of fall, and as of then they decided they would go down to the pool together. Luna conjured a sarong from nowhere, and draped it around herself as Itachi just pulled on a T-shirt over his trunks. The couple proceeded then down the path they had learned led them towards their destination.

The pool was relatively large, complete with a small waterslide, and many lawn chairs, in rows, even, lining it. The pool was right alongside the beach, too, so if you walked down far enough you reached the ocean. Buried in the greenery were two hot tubs, one on either side of the pool. It wasn't very crowded, but still too crowded for Itachi's tastes. Luna, however, didn't seem to mind at all, and he supposed it didn't really matter if there were other people there. As long as they didn't bother him and he had Luna to himself elsewhere, then he could deal with them. (Which should point out what a good mood he's in.)

Itachi suggested they station themselves on the lawn chairs closest to the ocean, which provided a view of the ocean and the hotel, and also happened to not be incredibly crowded. There was a blonde girl with an Ipod in front of them, and a father watching his kids in the water a few down from her, but it was pretty quiet in general. And so they chose two of the provided seats, and sat reclined together, facing the ocean. It was really quite pleasant.

Luna looked as if she might fall asleep in the warm sun, but Itachi contented himself with looking around at the scenery. The beach, the greenery around the pool, Luna, the idiot tied to the lawn cha-

Ooooooooh shit.

Itachi fell back onto the chair in disbelief. How, how? This was unfair! Didn't he deserve some peace, (he doesn't.) this was his _honeymoon_ for heaven's sake! And yet when he looked back, the scene hadn't changed.

"Relax, dammit, you're on vacation, relax!" A loud, obnoxious sort of voice was saying, and apparently coming from the young blonde kid sitting on a side of the pool adjacent to where Itachi sat with Luna. And, tied by rope and attracting too much attention by far, was a struggling fool.

"NO!" He howled. "Can't- relax- must- kill- must- train- LET ME UP!"

And if you haven't guessed by now, the disgruntled captive was none other than Itachi's own brother, Sasuke.

Okay, if you, like me, are wondering how that works, because isn't this point in the plot supposed to be when Sasuke was off doing who knows what with orochimaru? Yeeees, he was. (Because I'm using Tobi instead of Sasori and the Akatsuki is alive.) But I really don't want to deal with orochimaru in this. So… he's just…not there. …Okay?

Looking over, Luna was as peaceful as ever. She hadn't noticed the screaming brat, nor his insistent companion. It occurred to him that it hadn't occurred to him to tell her he had any relations whatsoever, not to mention homicidal ones. (You see, he didn't often even think about Sasuke. Which I'm sure Sasuke would consider quite an insult as he spends 24 hours a day plotting revenge.) Perhaps Itachi ought to wait and tell her sometime when it didn't seem as though he hadn't wanted her to know until they were already married. Besides, if worse came to worst, he could just put Sasuke in a coma and then all would be fine.

Current plan of action? Nothing. Hope he doesn't see you. Ignore him.

Itachi put on sunglasses. (Oooh great disguise.)

Neither, that night, felt like going anywhere in particular, there would be time for that later. So they simply ordered room service, and ate it together on the couch. Luna had just leaned her head on his shoulder when a commotion was heard.

For simple curiosity, Luna got up and walked out on the balcony to see where it had come from. Itachi, having none whatsoever, (curiosity) stayed where he was.

"Oh, dear," Luna waved for Itachi to join her.

While he had no interest in whatever was happening, Luna was over there and he wasn't. So he fixed the situation by bending to her request. .

"What?" He asked as he stepped over the doorsill, but he didn't need an answer as his eyes were drawn to a scene a couple balconies down.

Why him.

"I'll jump, I swear, I refuse to stay here!" Sasuke was spouting at his blonde companion, of all the luck they had a room so close.

"Of course you'll jump, you nitwit, you've fallen farther! But you are not leaving, by gum, you are going to relax if I have to drug you with a sleeping pill!"

The psychotic relation leaped for the banister, only to be stopped as his friend had stepped on his shoelace. "You're attracting attention. Just tie your shoes and come inside."

Itachi, caught up in the hilarity of his brother's struggles, realized too late that the comment of his acquaintance had caused Sasuke to look around for whose attention he had been attracting, and therefore find Itachi standing several yards away from him.

Sasuke's eyes bulged, his struggles ceased from shock. "Y-you!" He exclaimed, in a furious sort of way that implied 'how dare you stand there smirking at me.'

"Me." Itachi replied tiredly, realizing it was too late to do anything and he might was well get this over with.

Sasuke's friend seemed to realize that far from keeping Sasuke away from the problem, he had towed him right to it. "No way," He frowned. "Don't you go starting a fight. You. Are. On. Vacation!" But Sasuke, of course, didn't listen, and leaped across the balconies in between to land in front of Itachi.

Luna was looking with interest between Itachi and his brother "He looks like you," She told Itachi. He nodded in a resigned, yes disgruntled fashion.

"Luna, meet my brother, Sasuke Uchiha."

Luna smiled her vague, dreamy smile at Sasuke, leaving the same first impression on him as she had Itachi. Which is, who the hell is this and why must she taint the planet with her dementia. (Of course, we all know Itachi now loves that dementia.)

"Who is she?" Sasuke demanded of his older brother, his suspicions of why he would have a girl in her very early twenties (hey, lotsa time has passed.) sharing his hotel room. Had he kidnapped her? Who was he asking for a ransom from? He'd probably just kill her anyway, once he had gotten what he wanted, perhaps he wanted nothing more than to kill her anyway. Having viewed the girl in such a sympathetic light, his opinion toward her airiness changed slightly.

"Luna Lovegood." Luna told him, holding out a hand. (I refuse, downright refuse, to change her name to Luna Uchiha. No, okay? No.)

Sasuke did not take her hand, as he had more important things to think about. Itachi, having expected nothing more, didn't do anything but wonder how he could get out of this.

Sasuke was thinking. She was awfully cheery for a hostage. So he turned to Itachi. "Why is she here?" He asked in a harsh tone, and Itachi shook his head.

He was also grinning. (Even whence his brother says, it's still nice to think of why she was there.) "Dear me, I'm sure you wouldn't believe if I told you," Itachi told him, unable to keep from chuckling to himself.

Sasuke furrowed his already constantly-furrowed brow. His brother was being confusingly content. "Try me." he snarled. "If you're holding her hostage, I swear I'll-"

"Not at all," Luna said simply. "I'm very happy to be here." Itachi smiled, unable to stop himself.

Sasuke looked at her surprisedly. "Then what-"

"Well, they got hitched, obvious, isn't it?" Sasuke's annoying blond friend said, having leapt over to join them. "I mean, it only makes sense."

Sasuke laughed dryly, and waved the idea aside. "I doubt it. Itachi's never loved anyone."

Itachi just couldn't keep from giving a laugh. It was just the disbelief he'd expected. "People change." He said casually.

Sasuke's face got sort of twisted, so it looked like he'd sat on a shivering porcupine. Itachi was still smiling smirkingly at him, no part of him seemed to be joking. "Prove it." Sasuke stuttered. "I don't believe you."

Itachi rolled his eyes and beckoned Luna closer. She of course came, and Itachi simply leaned over and kissed her.

"Get a room." Called Sasuke's companion from the peanut gallery. (They did.)

Sasuke, however, was processing the new information. Finally, this could be the perfect chance for revenge. No matter how odd it was that his brother was in love with this oddity, she could be used. Easily, by the looks of it. And then Itachi would know the pain Sasuke knew.

Itachi had his arm around Luna, and was looking at him pointedly. Sasuke scowled at him. Itachi shook his head and let his arm fall from Luna's shoulder. "Now I suggest you give up and go find a friend of your own." Itachi told him infuriatingly.

Quick as he could, He darted past Itachi. Itachi lashed out, his fist inches from contact when he stopped.

Sasuke had a knife at Luna's throat.

Itachi's fist was shaking, with both anger, anxiety and many other emotions that are difficult to describe. It was irony beyond belief, except for one thing. And that was the one thing that made Sasuke's efforts slightly less than wise.

"Move," Sasuke told him with a dark, triumphant grin. "And I kill your 'beloved'."

Itachi met Luna's eyes.

He grinned. He even laughed a bit. "Sasuke," he said. "Once a fool, always a fool. You shouldn't have done that."

Sasuke was unsure exactly what he meant. He was positive that Itachi was in love with his hostage, not because he had kissed her, but because of the way he looked at her. (And believe me it creeped him out. But still, on with the story!) So why was he so…

Unease flowed through him, as it seems to do when something feels wrong.

Luna slipped her hand inside the robes she was wearing, (they weren't planning on going out hat night, so she dressed how she wanted to.) and pulled out…a stick of wood. Sasuke thought it looked rather non-threatening. She lifted it as high as Sasuke's grip on her would allow, and pointed it towards herself and Sasuke. Who laughed coldly. "What can you do with that? Turn me into a pumpkin?"

Luna shook her head minimally. "Human transfiguration isn't something I enjoy. I can, however…Relashio!"

Sasuke was throw off her with such force the he nearly fell off the balcony after all. He was caught by his obnoxious sideline friend, who then continued to be part of the background as I have no use for him. By the time he looked up, Luna was already standing beside Itachi, her wand pointed directly at him.

But Itachi took her hand and lowered it. "This is not your fight," He told her. "This is something that I will settle on my own." He then turned his glare to sasuke. "I will settle it on my own, some other time. Sasuke, I must ask you to leave."

Which, of course, only made Sasuke angrier. No way was he leaving, he had his brother good and cornered, he was going to fight for all he was worth!

Except for the fact that he couldn't move.

"If you fight now, I will ask Luna to transport you so that we might get some peace. First however, I will make sure you regret attacking me at all. You have your choice, and it isn't one at all because as I take it, you are unable to move." He squeezed Luna's shoulder in thanks.

His now more-important friend then popped out of he background. "Look, we'll just be leaving, okay?" He picked up Sasuke's rigid figure and tied it up so as to force him to relax. This certainly hadn't helped with that. (At this point, Luna undid the spell on him so that he could move. Although not that much as he was all tied up.)

Itachi nodded, and directed his next words at Sasuke. "Next time," he said, "I will not ask you to go. I will kill you on the spot." Sasuke struggled maniacally, shouting muffled swears and his brother and his friend for lugging him off.

Ooookay let's cover something. I know for a fact that if this had actually happened Sasuke probably would have displayed more skill in the ninja department, not to mention Naruto would most definitely not blend into the background and stay out of it, no way would that happen. Itachi, also, would probably not act as such, but his is how my fanficiton goes. Excuse my lack of decent character portrayals.

Itachi collapsed back onto the sofa, Luna in tow. "I'm sorry," He told her. "I didn't think I'd see him again for years, let alone tonight."

She shook her head. "It wasn't your fault."

He grinned. "Well, I guess initially it is, as there is a reason he's so horribly mad at me, but I assume you've heard that tale."

Luna nodded. "Deidara."

"Trying to make you hate me?"

"Not gonna happen." She put her head on his chest, and he followed suit by pulling her into a hug.

"Thank you." He told her. (And that's not a phrase Itachi uses lightly.)

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Real quick, let me stress something I've already mentioned. I know for a fact, that I twisted a few personalities, I think that without the slightest doubt, things would have gone differently had Sasuke really intruded on Itachi's honeymoon, not to mention the fact that Naruto just stood aside like some wall flower. (A really, really ugly wall flower.) and it's very short. But I didn't think I could make it any better, so this is how it came out, and this is how it is. Please just push the parts you didn't like aside and enjoy whatever you did like.

There you go. I'll explain stuff now because otherwise it's pretty mean.

Just first- I know the wedding wasn't an original wedding. It was just what you'd expect from a lousy fanficiton that takes everything from the books and thinks themselves clever for it. I don't like to think I'm one of them, please don't hold it against me.

'We can close the curtains, pretend like there's no world outside' is a line of lyrics from Jack Johnson's song, Banana Pancakes. I just thought it fit. (I did not write it that way, I was listening to the song and then went back to add the parenthesis)

Itachi's failure at smoothie-making came from a fanficiton written by SabrinaUtake, 'the girl next door.'

I just thought it was hilarious that Itachi had blender problems. So...yes.

Last but never least of all is 'heheh tux.'

The morning before I began to write this, Dianna told me she'd gotten up early and had the urge to write a Lunitachi drabble. (Our word for the pairing.) So she did, and I read it at brunch- swear I was high off it all through English.

Anyhow, I took 'heheh tux' from a set of parenthesis in her fanficiton, which takes place the same time as this one- after the wedding. If you liked this, then really you should go read it. she's Shashuko the Paisley Maiden, you will find her in my favorites, and she titled the fanficiton 'read 'without a wand' first'. So it should be easy to find.

Final note- I won't be writing more. Maybe I'll be bored one day and write half a scene, but it won't be pieced like this. So really, this is it. I know I've said that before. And you don't have to believe me if you don't want.

As this is the last chance, please tell me what you think, because if you don't I'll never know.

Au revoir- in fact, as the translation there is 'until we meet again', I'll have to say adieu instead.


End file.
